


Magic the Gathering: Month of the Ship

by Bace_Jeleren



Category: Magic: The Gathering
Genre: More ships and characters to come, Mostly going to be Alternate Universe, Multi, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2019-12-31 22:42:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 49,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18323429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bace_Jeleren/pseuds/Bace_Jeleren
Summary: Welcome to Month of the Ship 2019! Throughout the month of April, please enjoy these short one-shots dedicated to various MtG ships, both popular and obscure! Love is in the air, and we have a lot of ships to cover! Please enjoy!





	1. Asking Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emmara is a shy employee at a flower shop, but when a new tattoo parlor opens up next door, will a certain someone who works there be able to break her out of her shell?

Emmara had loved the used bookstore that had once stood beside the flower shop where she worked. It was the perfect little oasis, run by an elderly woman and a home to the woman's many, many cats, where she could escape to during her breaks or after work to lose herself and read. It had been the perfect place to unwind and discover old, worn books that had seen as much history as they contained stories. Emmara had loved the used bookstore- "loved" being the almost painful keyword.

The place had closed down months ago, whether it had to do with financial reasons or other, unfortunate occurrences Emmara cared not to dwell on. For a long, cold winter, Emmara would walk by the empty building, the "For Lease" sign slowly starting to peel from it's window. Through the dreary winter months, she had to supply her own reading material, and enjoy it in the cramped back room of the flower shop, surrounded by tiny, festive pine trees and poinsettias. No friendly chats with the kind old woman who would always have a recommendation for her, no furry feline friends snuggling up against her ankles as she read, no discoveries of old stories forgotten about by time and by publishing companies- just a cold, metal chair and the same few books she had from home.

Solace didn't visit her, come spring, unfortunately. The empty building that had once been her home away from home eventually did get rented out, but much to Emmara's dismay, as she watched construction inside slowly transform the empty space, it turned out to be the new home of a tattoo parlor. Emmara could only imagine the types who owned such a place, and those the new venue would attract, and she at least was confident they wouldn't come bothering her- although she could hear the distant sound of heavy metal music from across the alleyway that separated the buildings. She was sure, at least, even though the new addition only further desecrated what was once her personal holy ground, whatever rock-and-roll hooligans that would be attracted to the new tattoo parlor wouldn't cause her any problems.

_Or so she thought._

It was the day of the parlor's grand opening when Emmara was pulled away from the book she was reading behind the register. Jace, her one co-worker who shared her particular shift, looked up from the flowers he was arranging as the bell right above the door jingled, greeting the shop's latest patron with a friendly "hello". Emmara, on the other hand, couldn't bring herself to say anything at all.

A girl walked through the doorway, her height impressive, with a build enough to keep her from looking twig-like. She had gently-tanned skin and dark brown hair that was pulled into a loose braid that was long enough to sling over her shoulder. A green tank-top was all she wore that was just short enough to fail at covering her midriff, along with tight jeans that hugged her thighs and calves. Her full lips were pursed thoughtfully as she looked around at the flowers arranged at the front of the store, her bright-green eyes scanning from side to side before settling on the two of them who were looking after the shop. And, most noticeably, all along her skin, barely poking out from under her tank top and jutting out from her chin, cheeks and forehead, were jagged, dark shapes tattooed onto her skin, guiding Emmara's eyes all along her body and almost forcing her to focus on the girl's features- which were almost serene.

For once, despite how prominent they were, Emmara wasn't put-off by the tattoos. Something else was distracting her from her usual reaction to such things- or rather, _everything_ else. The girl who looked back at her and gave her a proper, business-like smile was breathtakingly beautiful.

"Welcome you to the... how may we shop-" Emmara struggled to say, feeling her face grow warm the second she opened her mouth, and feeling as if she were about to be set ablaze once she struggled to an awkward halt.

"Welcome to the shop! How may we help you?" Jace spoke up, hardly even a half-second later, eyeing Emmara strangely before leaving the flowers he was arranging to greet their customer. It had been a slow day, and Jace, ever the people-person, was probably craving any form of human interaction at that point. Emmara, the shy book worm of the two, however, hung back behind the register, trying and failing not to stare. The flowers didn't exist, her book she had been engrossed in didn't exist, the short order form of arrangements she still had to do certainly didn't exist- all that seemed to matter, in that moment, was the girl.

"What's up! I'm Nissa Revane- I actually work next door to you now." The girl introduced. "Sorry for the noise, I promise we'll tone it down once our grand-opening event is over."

"It's no problem, I hear flowers react in interesting ways to music anyway." Jace joked as he took her hand she offered to him once he was close enough to shake. "I'm Jace... and that's Emmara." He motioned behind him with a nod to his co-worker who was hyper-focused on trying to remember how to breath.

"Hi..." She said with a stiff wave. She wished she had been the one to say hello, introduce herself and shake Nissa's hand. Instead she was hiding behind the counter and struggling to put together a sentence that was more than a syllable long.

"Sorry about her, she works better with flowers than with people." Jace joked. "So, did you just come by to introduce yourself, or..."

"Actually, I came by to try and put together some arrangements. I figured some flowers set up around back at the shop would brighten the place up. The boss said a few flowers would make the place seem inviting." Nissa smiled- a smile that made Emmara's legs feel weak. "Her name's Nahiri, by the way, if you ever get the chance to meet her. Pale as the snow, like she's never seen a ray of sunshine- impossible to miss."

"S-sunflowers!" Emmara found herself speaking up, her mouth moving faster than her brain could process. She'd more shouted instead of spoke, and both Jace and Nissa looked back at her in surprise as she threw her hands over her mouth in an embarrassed gesture.

"Oh! Sunflowers would be lovely!" Nissa perked up, her overwhelming smile now aimed right in Emmara's direction- a shot that might as well have been powered to kill, as far as Emmara was concerned. "...But it doesn't look like you have any out."

"W-we recently... a shipment..." Emmara stammered, eyes frantically darting to the side, afraid of what sort of stuttering, swooning mess she would be reduced to if she met Nissa's gaze head-on. "The cooler..."

"Hmm? Oh, right! We did just get some in, didn't we!" Jace nodded. "First sunflowers of the season. They might not be as impressive as when we get them later into the summer but... If you're interested..." He turned to Nissa, patiently waiting for her response.

"I don't think anyone would be able to tell the difference where we work. I'd love to buy a few vase's worth, if it's not too much trouble." Nissa said with a nod.

"No trouble at all. I just have to un-box them- if you don't mind waiting."

"I don't mind at all. I can just look around- I may not look it, but I actually really love flowers." Nissa assured him, and after a few more, quick words, Jace hustled back into the back-room, leaving Nissa and Emmara together. _Alone._

"...So, Emmara, was it?" Emmara jumped a bit as Nissa spoke up after a short moment of silence. She felt herself grow nervously stiff as she approached, gazing at the flowers set up in buckets as she walked closer to the counter. She didn't really think anything about her own name, but hearing Nissa say it allowed gave her a higher appreciation for the title.

"Y-yes..." Emmara nodded stiffly before looking down and fidgeting around with the pages of her book in a failed attempt to seem casual.

"So... you live around here?" Nissa asked, pausing to gently caress the petals of a rose. "I'm pretty new to the area, so I don't know much about where everything is. Are there any places you'd recommend?"

"Places?" Emmara questioned.

"You know... like places to hang out? Date spots?"

Emmara felt her heart come to a complete stop at the very mention of the word "date" from Nissa's gorgeous lips. For a moment that seemed to last hours, she forgot how to breath. The word "date" echoed endlessly in her head, her focused fixed painfully on Nissa's fingertips that brushed against the ruby-red rose petals.

"I-uh... I..." Emmara struggled, trying to remember how words worked. "...I don't really... I mostly just go to the library... there's a nice cafe down the street... good coffee..."

"Oh? A cafe? That's nice, I like a good cup of coffee, especially after work." Nissa smiled in approval. "Can't say I read that many books though- I lack the focus, I'm more of an audio-book kind of girl."

Before Emmara could even process it, Nissa had made her way to the counter, one elbow on the wooden surface as she leaned forward, peering over the edge. She was close- _too close_! Her beauty overwhelmed just as easily as it drew Emmara in. She smelled sweet, like some kind of dessert.

"Oh, what are you reading?" She asked. Unfortunately, instead of answering, Emmara's instincts led her to snatch up the book, hold it tight against her chest, and gasp, as if Nissa had motioned to strike her. Surprised by her own over-the-top reaction, Emmara stumbled backward a good few steps, blushing and stammering.

"No-I-uh... I..."

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to startle you." Nissa apologized, looking a bit downtrodden as she backed up as well. "Just curious about your book."

Emmara couldn't bring herself to answer, her frustration at herself and her own, unconquerable shyness keeping her lips pressed tightly shut as she looked down at her book she still held in front of her like it was some sort of shield. She internally chastised herself, biting her lip as the shop, once again, became drowned in silence.

"Sorry..." Nissa spoke again, the tone of her voice causing Emmara's heart to sink. Nissa wasn't the one who should have been saying sorry, but Emmara couldn't even utter the simplest word. All she could do was blush and stare down at her book in shame.

"Okay, I've got the sunflowers!" Jace, returning from the back with several stalks topped with bright-yellow blooms in his hands. "Let's get these wrapped up- do you have vases you can put these in?"

"Can't say that we do. Do you have any you would recommend?" Nissa asked, her smile returning as Jace and his sunflowers stole all of her focus and chased away the solemn look on her face. Emmara, however, turned away, busying herself with the order forms left out on the desk behind her while Jace completed the sale. A fine, bang-up job she had done, acting like a complete and total weirdo and offending the girl she'd have to work next door to for the foreseeable future. Forget getting off on the wrong foot, Emmara had fallen flat on her face! She wished there was still an peaceful oasis of old books she could run off to and hide in like there used to, but now all she had was her own book and her own regrets growing larger and deeper by the second.

* * *

 

The following days were full of nothing but rain that matched Emmara's mood. Everything was soggy and gray, and it left her feeling sluggish and gloomy- that and the memories of her encounter with Nissa the other day. Ever since, Emmara had done her best to leave the shop as little as possible, as to not accidentally run into her and be forced to face her own mistakes.

Nissa probably thought she was weird. She probably thought Emmara didn't like her. She probably figured it would be best to avoid her as well. Every time Nissa passed the tattoo parlor on her way into work, she kept on catching glimpses of the sunflowers, their bright, sunny blooms bowed towards the ground with no light to bask in. Emmara couldn't help but feel similarly

"Hey, are you alright?" She heard Jace ask, and she looked up from her watering to see her co-worker looking at her closely, examining her. "You don't look so good... honestly you haven't looked so good lately, if I'm being honest."

"It's just..." Emmara began before sighing and setting down her empty watering can. "I'm fine, it's probably just the weather. I swear, I must be part plant or something, I just get like this when it's so gloomy several days in a row."

"Hrrmmm..." Jace mumbled suspiciously before backing off and folding his arms. "We're honestly super dead today- you finished all your orders, I don't think anybody else is going to call in. If you want, you can leave early, I can run things until Ajani gets here to take over."

"Are you sure? That wouldn't be a problem, would it?" Emmara asked, trying not to sound too eager. Normally she wouldn't jump at the chance, but all she wanted to do was return back home and hide herself away under the covers of her bed.

"No problem at all. I'll just tell him you weren't feeling good, so I sent you home." Jace assured her with a gentle pat on the back. "And... whatever's eating you, I hope it clears up soon. It's almost like, when you're down in the dumps, all the flowers in the shop get all droopy, too."

"You're a real flatterer, Jace, but I'm sure it's just the rain- nothing to do with me."

After putting away her apron and a quick goodbye, Emmara walked out the front doors, pausing under the awning to look up at the clouded skies, as if they alone were the cause of all her problems and not her own, clumsy awkwardness. She felt a crushing sense of self-loathing that felt as heavy as the rolling, gray clouds above her looked.

"God, I'm such an idiot!" Surprisingly enough, somebody spoke the words that drifted angrily through her head, and in surprise, Emmara looked to the side to find Nissa, also outside the door of the tattoo parlor, looking up at the clouds still pouring rain down onto the streets below, one hand on her hip and the other shielding her eyes. She frowned, the tattoos that marked her face looking like they were growing sharper.

"O-Oh!" Emmara gasped despite herself, earning Nissa's attention. The two girls stared back at each other through the rain, both looking like deer caught in the headlights. Emmara's heart thudded loudly against her chest, the sound of it's beating echoing in her ears and overpowering the pitter-patter of the rain.

"Oh... it's you." Nissa acknowledged, awkwardly adjusting her jacket. "Looks like we're both on our way out, huh?"

"U-uh... um..." Emmara stammered, her brain once again feeling it appropriate to leave her on her own to mumble nonsense instead of responding how she wanted.

"Well... I should probably get out of your hair- sorry to have bothered you." Nissa sighed, her sad smile she offered up piercing through all of Emmara's armor and striking her right in the heart.

"I'M SORRY!" Emmara shouted, even though there was no need to. She was shouting over the sound of her own heartbeat, and over her own thoughts that rushed chaotically inside her mind. She roared those words over the wall built by her own insecurities, hoping they would reach Nissa who looked like she was about to book it through the rain.

"I-uh-what?" Nissa gasped with a jump, not having expected Emmara to speak, much less yell.

"I'm sorry I made it seem like I didn't like you! I was just nervous, you surprised me... I didn't mean to..." Emmara continued, feeling a lump begin to grow in her throat as she pressed on. "...I'm sorry..." She looked down at the ground in shame, clutching the umbrella she had brought with her to work in her hands. She braced herself for the impact of what would be Nissa's answer. Perhaps, she wouldn't even want to bother with her now, after she waited so long to apologize for how she had acted.

"Thank _god_! I thought you didn't like me or something! That's a relief!" Nissa heaved a sigh, a warm smile that cut through the rain appearing on her lips. "I'm so glad, I thought I'd insulted you!"

"Not at all I'm just... it's like Jace said, I'm better with plants than I am with people. Not to mention you're so beautiful and-" Emmara's breath caught in her throat as she realized what she had been babbling. Blushing like mad she gasped, throwing her hands over her lips to silence herself- although, she knew very, very well that they had come much too late. Nissa looked back at her in surprise and, much to Emmara's shock, blushed as well. "S-sorry, that just came out, I didn't mean to..."

"No, no, it's fine... just not a lot of people call me 'beautiful', not even blokes who are hitting on me." Nissa admitted. "It just... surprised me a bit. You don't have to be sorry."

"O-oh..." Emmara said with a slight nod as the both of them blushed and turned their gazes out toward the rain.

"...I should probably get going. I'm going to have to sprint all the way home- I forgot my cell phone and my umbrella, can you believe it? I guess when they said there was a chance for rain, I should taken it a little more seriously." Nissa sighed. "I'm going to get _drenched._ "

"H-hold on!" Emmara exclaimed, holding out a hand to motion for Nissa to wait, who was already crouching into a running stance, ready to sprint off into the downpour. "I... If you want, we can go to the cafe down the street and wait for the rain to let up. I have an umbrella... it's small, but it should at least get us to the cafe without us getting too wet... and I do remember you said you liked coffee."

"Oh... yeah." Nissa said, standing back upright before giving Emmara a thankful smile in return for her offer. It was brighter than the sunflowers that stood in the parlor window, and for a moment, Emmara mistook it for the light of the sun she had been craving for days. Even though the air was cool and damp, drinking in Nissa's smile, Emmara couldn't help but feel warm. "I love it."

* * *

 

The two of them sat in the cafe for hours- Emmara couldn't remember the last time she enjoyed such a long conversation. Not since the last time she had visited the now long gone used bookstore, gabbing with the old shop-keeper about books and flowers and her cats had Emmara had such a warm, engaging conversation. Nissa liked to travel, so she had an absolute wealth of stories about people and places. Beneath her breathtakingly beautiful exterior, Nissa was worldly and wise beyond her years, made so by the people she had met and the things she had seen.

And yet, she also seemed to enjoy Emmara's comparably simple talk about flowers and her job and what books she had read- about the old, used bookstore and the old lady and her cats. She listened to Emmara with a smile as she talked about the smaller, simple things, the warmth from her expression drawing Emmara out of her shell. Her smile was so brilliant, Emmara almost didn't notice the sun peaking through the clouds above them, bathing the two of them in a soft, yellow glow. The rain had long-since stopped, but the two of them remained, happy to remain in one anothers company just a little while more.

"You know, Emmara, for a self-proclaimed shy girl, you can really talk a person's ear off." Nissa laughed as the two of them finally exited the cafe.

"W-what? I- I'm-"

"Relax, it was a joke, silly." Nissa smirked, reaching out to ruffle Emmara's hair, who was more than happy to stand there and let her mess up her hair all day if she really wanted to. "Honestly, you're too cute."

"C-cute!?" Emmara gasped, the warmth from her blush overpowering the welcome warmth of the sun. "P-please... don't tease me like that..."

"Hey, if you have the guts to call me beautiful, then I can summon up my own courage and call things as they are, myself." Nissa explained with a smile. "You're really cute, Emmara, like a little flower just starting to bloom."

"Oh... is that so?" Emmara asked, feeling winded even though she was standing in place. The feelings growing in her heart were so overwhelming, she feared she might faint right there in front of the cafe. "Th... thank you."

"Hey, if you're working tomorrow, maybe we can do this again? I really like talking to you, so maybe we could make this a regular thing... you know, if you want." Nissa offered. "And maybe, you can show me other places around this town... like the library."

"Th-there's actually a botanical garden not too far from here!" Emmara spoke up, speaking quickly and feeling like she was trying to out-run her own nervousness. "I-if you want... if you're free some time... we can go there..." By the time she finished, Emmara was convinced she was going to drop dead from a heart attack.

"Oh?" Nissa asked, cocking an eyebrow. "...Like a date? Are you asking me on a date, Emmara" The way she said it convinced Emmara she was just teasing her now, saying just the right words in just the right way to coax a silly reaction out of her. She could tell by the tiny smirk tugging at the very edge of her lips that Nissa was toying with her, if only just a little bit. "

"I-I mean... I guess... if you want to look at it that way..." Emmara half spoke/ half mumbled. "It is a good place to have a first date... or so I've heard."

" _First_ date?" Nissa questioned with a chuckle. "And here I thought you were asking me on a date when you invited me for coffee."

"Wh-what... I..." Emmara fumbled over her words as she looked up at Nissa, like a sunflower looking up at the brilliantly-glowing sun. For the first time in a good few, dreary days, she felt energy return to her limbs and she found herself smiling, even through her blush and her embarrassment. Despite herself, Emmara couldn't help but chuckle as well. "I guess it was."

"Well, as far as first dates go, I'd say this went over pretty well." Nissa beamed. "I honestly can't wait to see how date number two goes."


	2. First Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia and Thalia are newly in a relationship, and are about to share their very first new years eve together. But once the night starts to go not as the two of them quite planned, will Olivia get to pull off what she wanted to do in the first place, or will their very first new years eve as a couple be their last?

Sorin Markov is a huge bastard, but he throws decent parties.

Two years ago he threw his annual new year's party on the roof of a building he shouldn't have had access to in a penthouse sweet that didn't belong to him, but was totally empty. A year ago it was an old, abandoned hotel tucked away in the mountains the current owners were using as storage- there weren't any roads that led to it, you had to park your car and climb up the snowy mountain by foot. Sorin was and always will be a stuck-up rich kid with way too much time on his hands, and the ability to somehow get away with everything he throws together. His grandfather works for the government, I suppose that has something to do with it.

Not that I'm complaining, the booze is free and the police are _almost_ never involved.

This year, he's done it again, hosting it in an old, abandoned church within a few blocks of the city slated for demolition. We've parked our cars down dark, tight alleyways and behind bulldozers, whispering and sharply shushing one another as we creep through the empty streets dusted with snow, lined with old, abandoned buildings that were once _something_ , I'm sure. There's an excitement to being in places you shouldn't, and Sorin knows this very well, or else he'd hold his annual new years parties at his family mansion every year. And, lucky for him, in the city of Innistrad, there is a literal wealth of places where people like us aren't supposed to be: just a bunch of bored kids barely over the age to drink but hardly the age where we're anybody who matters.

This year is special, at least to me, anyway. The previous years- trespassing in an empty penthouse and traversing snowy mountain roads- pale in comparison to the excitement I feel tonight. It's not the new, abandoned locale Sorin chose, or the bags of liquor we all are carrying, weighing us down. It's what's in my other hand that is going to make this night special- something I didn't have with me previous years, where all I did was skulk around and drink wine straight from the bottle. In my other hand, I hold tight the hand of my-

"Olivia, isn't this illegal?" A question is asked, to which all of our friends moan in annoyance, but I, at least, bother to hold myself back.

"Thalia, is that you or your over-protective cop dad talking?" I ask her with a chuckle with a toss of my wavy, red hair. Thalia looks away and bites her lip. I can feel her hold my hand a little bit tighter.

"Sorry... it's just an impulse." She grumbles. Ulrich, the largest among us whose built like a truck, laughs, and I respond by elbowing him right in the ribs. I'm the only one who gets to laugh at Thalia, he should very well know this already.

Thalia, against all sorts of odds, is my girlfriend- although the title is only a few months old, I practically trip over myself every chance I get to call her such. She and her nice coat and fancy party dress sticks out like a sore thumb among all of us draped in black like we're on our way to a funeral instead of a party. I'd _like_ to say that how we met was magical and love-at-first-sight but what really happened was I dropped a can of paint while I was helping to touch of a mural at school, and I doused her nice clothes and her expensive text books all in very bright, very permanent red paint. How I turned that around and managed to woo her afterward is honestly on the level of miracles that would deem somebody a saint.

"If you're worried it's going to be dangerous, I promise Sorin scopes these places out weeks in advanced. It wouldn't be much of a party of people started getting hurt." I promise her before playfully nudging her with my shoulder. "Come on, it's new years eve, lighten up!"

" _Right..._ " Thalia sighs with a roll of her eyes. "With all you goth assholes, somebody has to."

As we round the corner, the faint thumping of a baseline greets us that's just barely leaking out of the old church situated at the end of the street. It's a little bigger than the penthouse, but definitely smaller than the hotel- an old building with long-broken stained glass windows and spires that jut up toward the night sky like old, rotting spikes. A few other, smaller groups of people sneaking out of the darkness notice us and wave as I spot a few familiar faces. I fight the impulse to run over and greet them and instead hang back with Thalia, whose pace has slowed considerably.

"Hey... you okay?" I ask her, gripping her hand tightly as I stop and wave the rest of our group on. No doubt they're all exited to get inside, so they pass us by and continue on without much of a thought.

"I'm fine!" Thalia assures me with a stiff nod and an equally stiff lip. "Just a little nervous- I just need a drink, and I should be fine- _really_!"

I narrow my eyes, but Thalia only narrows her's back. Even if she was having second thoughts, she's probably the most stubborn person I have ever met and isn't going to budge on going to Sorin's very illegal abandoned church party, even if she's more than nervous- even if she doesn't want to go in the first place. And, I can't lie, I want her to go, too, so it's not like I'm in any hurry to try and change her mind out here in the cold, while the sounds of the party just a short walk away grow louder and more enticing by the second, and my bag of liquor I'm carrying seems to grow heavier and heavier.

"Fine, fine, let's get out of the cold then." I let go of her hand to hold both of mine up in surrender. Thalia huffs victoriously, but there's a look in her eyes that seems unsure that I can't completely ignore as the two of us continue our walk and head inside.

"Olivia Voldaren, now there's a lady with some class!" I hear Sorin shout the second I walk inside. He says my full goddamn name, like we haven't seen each other in years and don't attend the same college and have classes in the same, tiny art building. He's mostly doing it to point me out, like I'm some big antagonist he wants to pick fights with, and of course one can't just approach your nemesis without being dramatic as all hell. He hops off the pulpit he was sitting on, an entire bottle of something that looks incredibly expensive half empty in his hand, and practically parts the crowd that's gathered around with his presence as he makes his way over.

"Sorin." I regard him with a quick, cold nod and hold out my bag of booze like it's a peace offering. That's a rule with Sorin's parties, if you want in you have to bring something- be it lights or sound equipment or, in my case, the cheapest alcohol my meager savings can buy. He takes the bag and hardly looks inside before handing it off to somebody else. Much to my dismay it seems like Sorin wants to talk. And, even though I'm a fan of his parties, I'm not a fan of Sorin- and _especially_ when Sorin _talks_.

"Glad you could make it- and it's nice to finally meet your cute girlfriend." He says with a chilling smile. "Nice to see you didn't make her up."

"Not all of us lie our way into getting ahead, Sorin, I'm not so pathetic as to make up an entire girlfriend." I grumble, but before I can start talking trash about his family that have their hands very, very deep in the world of politics, he shifts his attention to Thalia- which really puts me on edge. He's not looking at her like he's attempting to woo her- Sorin isn't about romance and relationships, he's about social climbing and pulling off events like these. He's looking at her like he's judging her, looking her up and down with a critical eye, and if I can see it then pretty miss top-grades-in-the-criminology-department certainly notices.

"I don't believe we've actually met- Olivia has done an impressive job keeping you a secret." He says with a smile before holding out his hand. "I'm Sorin Markov- perhaps you've heard of me."

"I've heard of your family, of course, Mister Markov, but I've certainly heard of you." Thalia says, her voice and her posture almost business-like as she reaches out and shakes his hand. "Your very public falling out with that Nahiri girl our freshman year is still a _very hot_ piece of gossip."

I can't underestimate the satisfaction I feel when I watch Sorin's smugness be taken down a couple of pegs. His smile twitches a bit as he pulls his hand away, his gaze traveling back to me and the smirk that's no doubt very prominent on my lips.

"She better not go telling daddy dearest anything about tonight, Olivia. If things go south because you brought the daughter of the chief of police here, trust me when I say you're going to have a lot of things to regret." He warns me, pointing a threatening finger in my direction while also shaking the bottle he's holding in my face, gold flecks dancing around chaotically in the liquor.

"Don't worry, _she_ won't." Thalia surprisingly bit back, a smile on her face but the tone of her voice as cold as ice. "Not unless you do something skeevy."

"Sorin." Just in time, a fourth person comes to join us, grabbing Sorin by the wrist, like a mother about to lead away an unruly child. It's Avacyn, who I honestly do not know if she's Sorin's girlfriend, or his cousin, or his girlfriend cousin, but regardless either option doesn't sit that well with me (It's either a person who somehow saw some value in Sorin, which worries me, another Markov, which annoys me, or the last option, which is just the biggest, fattest _yikes_ ). "Let's pick fights some other time."

"Yeah, Sorin, let's." I snort as I reach out and snatch the bottle he's holding away from him. "Fantastic party, by the way, as always."

I catch a glower aimed in my direction, but I don't even pay it the smallest of minds as I lead Thalia through the dance floor, pushing through a sea of bodies before we finally make it to a place where we can stand without brushing elbows with complete (and not to mention sweaty) strangers. At least now, Sorin's nowhere in sight, so I can let my guard down.

"Sorry about all that..." I sigh. "I wasn't expecting for him to accost me right when we walked through the doors."

"It's fine, I can handle assholes." Thalia shrugs, although I catch the nervous look in her eyes again, same as the one before. She casts it down at the floor, trying to hide it from my view, but she should know by now that she can't hide anything from me.

"Okay, seriously, what's wrong?" I ask her, and she quickly stiffens up, as if she's been shocked.

"What? Nothing's wrong, I told you I was fine!" She insists as she looks to me with a smile that's as convincing as her limp, half-assed argument. "Please, enjoy the party, you don't have to worry about me- _really_!"

Like hell I'm going to enjoy this party when she's acting so uncomfortable. She seemed incredibly sure of herself, facing down Sorin and putting him in his place, but that's Thalia's element- that's what she does on a regular basis. Thalia isn't a parties held in abandoned, old churches kind of girl, as much as I want her to be, and as much as _she_ clearly wants to be. I look out into the crowd, look down at the bottle I'd stolen from Sorin, then look back at her and the look in her eyes that gave everything away.

"Y'know, this isn't much of a party, anyway. You should have been there last year- _that_ was a party!" I chuckle as I set the bottle down. "This? This is nothing, I can skip out on this and honestly lose nothing. _I_ honestly could throw a better party than this."

"Olivia please-"

"No, I'm serious- I can show you a much better time! Forget Sorin, and forget his parties." I tell her as I take her hand. She looks back at me in surprise, but doesn't pull away. "This is the first new years eve I'm spending with my girlfriend and I don't want to fuck it up!"

"But... you talked about this party for weeks..." Thalia argues weakly. "You seemed so excited..."

"Yeah, of course I was... but maybe I should have stopped for a second. I don't think you were excited about this at all, were you?" I ask her, and she turns away, an embarrassed frown on her face. " _Heh_ , I knew it."

"I'm sorry... I should have said something in the first place, I just didn't want to ruin your plans! All of your friends are so cool and edgy, they're the exact opposite of me. I want to fit in with all of you so bad- I want to make this relationship work, I'm just so scared... we're so different. We occupy different worlds, I'm afraid you're going to get bored or upset with me one day. After all, I'm just the squeaky-clean daughter of the chief of police..." She pauses, looking down at her feet sadly. "I don't want you to wake up one day and realize we have nothing in common... that you don't need me."

A feeling washes over me and sinks deep down into the pit of my stomach. It's a combination of sadness and panic and that I've somehow failed in some way. It's worse than ruining an art project I'd worked on for weeks, it's worse than realizing I have less than ten dollars in my bank account, it's worse than any little ache or pain. Seeing Thalia so sad... holy shit, is it the worst. It's the absolute pits and I want to make things better- I want to make things better _right now_!

Without another word, I let go of her hand and push my way through the crowd. I shove and plow my way over to the DJ and his soundboard and grab him by the headphones. I hear him shout something at me about them being expensive, but it's honestly no concern of mine. This entire damn party isn't any concern of mine.

"Cut the music, or I'm chucking your soundboard onto the floor!" I threaten, grabbing the corner of his set-up he has sitting rather flimsily on a table somebody probably brought from home. All I really have to do is prove I can lift it and he gives in to my demands, frantically cutting the music and drowning the entire church in a painful silence. People immediately start to yell and shout angrily, all of them good and jostled by the sudden lack of horrible, pounding noise.

"Hey, fuckheads, _shut up_!" I yell loud enough that it hurts my throat, but it works. Now everybody is quiet, but they're _definitely_ upset that I just called the lot of them "fuckheads". I need to start talking, or somebody is going to try and start a fight here in the next couple of seconds. "This party fucking sucks! If it wasn't for the booze, I bet half of you wouldn't even show up! And fuck Sorin, we all know he's able to put these parties together because his parents help him out- just like everything else!"

"Hey, fuck you!" I hear somebody yell from the crowd.

"Fuck you!" I hurl back, not even sure who I'm talking to, but like hell I'm going to take being yelled at while I'm trying to make a speech. "And fuck this party! I could throw a better party than this! Give me a year and I'll be the one making Sorin's silly little parties irrelevant!"

"Who the hell even _are_ you!?" I hear somebody snap.

"I'm Olivia- _fucking_ \- Voldaren! And I'm fucking out of here!" I shout back as I catch Thalia struggling to make her way towards me through the crowd. With one last,dramatic flip of the bird I plunge into the crowd, grab Thalia by the wrist, and lead her through the mass of bodies until we reach outside. But even then we don't stop running. We book it down the street, laughing and panting all the way, kicking up snow and leaving a messy trail of our footprints in our wake.

* * *

 

I'm not really sure what my plan for escape was, but we wind up keeping up our mad dash until we reach the city park. The both of us slow to a clumsy stumble before stopping completely, hunching over with our hands on our knees as we struggle to catch out breath. Each heaved breath escapes me with a thick plume of vapor, obscuring my vision as I struggle to keep upright.

"You... you didn't have to do all that... you know?" Thalia gasps. "That was real... _really stupid_... you could have gotten hurt..."

"Whatever, it was worth it..." I wheeze. "Somebody had to finally tell that Sorin to go and fuck himself."

"Okay... okay, I... I get it." Thalia sighed.

"No I... I don't think you do! I don't think anybody does, and I won't stop until they do!" I say as I straighten up and cup my hands around my mouth before shouting, "Sorin Markov is a _motherfucker_!" with what little breath I've managed to catch.

"Alright, alright, shut up!" Thalia laughs as she pulls my hands down, keeping them tightly clasped in her own as the two of us continue to gasp for air. She gazes up at me and I can't help but stare back and clumsily smile as both of us raggedly breath. For a moment, it's as if we're the only two people in the whole world that exist- the only two people in this city who matter.

"...Oliva, about what I said-" Thalia speaks up, but I quickly cut her off.

"I meant what I said back there. I'm going to throw a new years party that's going to put Sorin's to shame- people aren't even going to remember the name Markov once I'm done. And... it's going to be a party where _you_ feel absolutely welcome." I tell her, looking deep into her eyes. I want her to know how serious I am about my plans, and how serious the words I'm about to say are. I don't want her to cut me off and lie to me and tell me she's fine. I don't want to lose this moment. "I don't care that you're not an edgy, goth art student like the rest of my friends, Thalia. I don't care how straight-laced you are, or how plain you say you are. The cop for a dad thing... I mean, we can overlook some things, he doesn't have to be involved."

"Olivia..." She chuckles, rolling her eyes at he again.

"What I'm trying to say is that I don't care that we're complete opposites. All that matters is that I love you... and I owe you hundreds of dollars for those text books I ruined." I say with a smirk. "But mostly it's that I love you."

"I love you, too, Olivia." Thalia smiles, brushing her pale-blond hair out of her face. "But also don't forget that blouse I was wearing was a designer brand, it was pretty fucking expensive, too."

"Hey, cut me a little slack, I'm broke as hell." I chuckle, my words nearly overpowered by the loud, booming chime of the clock tower set up near by. We both look up as the clock strikes midnight, ringing out a melody before chiming away the hour. I can hear people shouting and cheering from parties being held all around us, but within the park, it seems like it's just me and Thalia.

"I certainly wasn't expecting to ring in the new year like this..." Thalia laughs before I reach out and gently cup her chin, turning her attention away from the clock tower to look up at me. Her expression is surprised, but only at first before relaxing into a trusting smile. Her lips are so pretty, glistening with the tiniest hint of pink gloss, and I can't help but lean in and press my own, red-painted lips against them. Our heavy breathing stops completely as we share a kiss that lasts until the final chime from the clock tower rings out into the night.

"...That was..." Thalia gasps breathlessly as our lips part.

"Our first kiss, I know." I say with a slight chuckle. "Sorin's party honestly didn't really matter- so long as I got to share that kiss with you on new years, then all of this wasn't for nothing."

"They say that couples sharing a kiss on new years is good luck..." She mentions, fingertips brushing faintly against her lips as she blushes. "Of course, that's all little kid stuff- it's silly sounding, really, if you think about it."

"I don't know about that. You'd be surprised who among us subscribes to that sort of thing." I tell her with a grin. "Plus, I mean, its romantic as hell."

" _So_ romantic!" Thalia laughs. "I guess even people like you have a romantic side."

"Hey, I'll have you know I have plenty of sides- I'm _multi-dimensional_." I snort. "And something tells me we're going to have plenty of time to learn all about them. And, I for one, can't wait to learn more about yours."

"How about over some pie? There's an all-hours diner not too far from here I go to whenever I'm up late studying." Thalia offers.

"That sounds great." I smile as I take her hand. "Lead the way."


	3. Holidays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nissa Revane is spending her first Christmas away from her friends, and more importantly her girlfriend Chandra. How will her spirits fair when Chandra goes completely silent on the eve of the holiday? Meanwhile, Ral is having his own yuletide troubles concerning Jace. Officewatch AU.

Nissa sighed as she finally pulled herself away from her computer. She rubbed her eyes and lifted her nearby coffee cup to her lips, drinking up the last few drops of now-cold coffee. Her eyes were tired and her fingers were sore, but at last, the final bits of her work were squared away, just in time for the long, holiday weekend. She stretched her arms high above her head in quiet victory, hearing a quiet pop resonate from one of her shoulders, and added a few cracks of her neck for good measure.

"That's finally done- now I won't have to work... on..." She paused as she lowered her arms and slumped in her chair, looking at the full spread sheet on her computer screen. Now that she was finished with all of her work that she had thrown herself into, it was finally starting to sink in that it was Christmas eve- her first Christmas eve in a new city, hours and hours away from everyone else back at the old office. Back at home.

It had been half a year since Teferi had reassigned her to the new office branch, putting an incredible amount of faith in her to help jump-start the new location and lend her expertise to getting the place up and running. It had taken months for the bitter sting of home-sickness to subside, a lot of long, lonely nights staring up at her ceiling, a lot of long, hard days of trying to distract herself with her work. The only thing that really kept her going and kept her from being a sad, sobbing mess every night were the constant text messages, phone calls and late-night gaming streams with Chandra: her girlfriend back at her old office, back where she used to live.

"I should see if Chandra is planning on hosting a Christmas stream tonight." She told herself after a quick, sharp inhale as she attempted to shake away the growing feelings of melancholy. Pulling out her phone, she texted Chandra, doing her best not to sound too sad. She was _always_ trying her best not to sound too sad.

"Any chance you're hosting a special stream tonight? Love you join you!" Nissa wrote, pausing to think before very awkwardly cycling through the list of emojis and added a cute, little Christmas tree. With a quiet sigh, she looked at the series of messages they had exchanged previously, the last one being sent to her two days ago. Chandra was no-doubt also busy, getting all of her own work done before the holiday. It was so incredibly lonely not being able to exchange little messages with her and hear her voice, but Nissa was doing her very best to be understanding. She sent the text and went about saving her work.

"Oh, sweet, you're still here!" A voice behind her spoke up. Nissa jumped in her seat and spun around, unable to keep from looking surprised as she came to find Vivian Reid, one of the girls who worked in her department, peering into her cubicle and stifling a laugh. Nissa had been so sure she was the last person in the office, half the overhead lights and the strings of festive Christmas lights lining the cubicle walls meagerly lighting the space. But, it seemed she hadn't been alone, and Nissa hoped, at least, that Vivian hadn't heard her talking to herself.

Vivian was an intern who had worked at the old office who later got an actual, proper job with the company once their second office started looking for new hires. She was a young, energetic girl with dark skin and thick, dark hair tossed to one side of her head, who always smelled like some sweet flavor of vape smoke. Even though they had hardly interacted at the old office, it had been at least nice for there to have been at least one familiar face to talk to on breaks. It was hard enough making new friends when all of her social life was miles and miles away in another city.

"Vivian! I wasn't expecting you to still be around!" Nissa gasped as she stood up from her chair and quickly began arranging her things and throwing on her jacket. "Are you just finishing up work, too?"

"What? Oh, no, I finished up a long time ago- I figured you would still be around though, since you practically live here at the office." Nissa wasn't sure, going by Vivian's tone, if she was just gently teasing her or if she was legitimately mocking her.

"Why me?" Nissa asked, wrapping a scarf around her neck. "Did you need me to check something for you?"

"No, no, nothing like that!" Vivian corrected her, shaking her head maybe a little too vigorously. "A couple of girls and I are going out for drinks- there's a bar down the street that has really good Christmas Eve deals going on right now, and well... I figured you probably had no plans."

"What makes you think that?" Nissa questioned, narrowing her eyes.

"I mean, it's perfectly fine if you do, but I really don't think you're planning on making a super long drive this late at night to meet up with the folks back home. And, hell... I figured... Nobody should be alone on Christmas Eve." Vivian sighed with a shrug. "I know we don't really talk all that much, and it's fine if you don't want to, I just figured I'd swing by here and ask."

Nissa frowned as she looked down at her phone. No answer from Chandra, not even a notification that she had read her message. The thought of going back to her apartment alone on Christmas, where she would wait and wait for Chandra to message her back, made her heart sink faster than she expected it to. Vivian was right, as much as Nissa wanted to be available the very second Chandra messaged her: being alone on Christmas Eve sounded absolutely dreadful.

"...I guess I have some spare time. A drink or two certainly won't hurt any." Nissa said with a slight, friendly smile.

"Great! After all the work they make you do around here, I'd say you definitely earned yourself a drink." Vivian smiled back. "First round's on me!"

"Thanks!" Nissa said as she looked down at her phone one last time. Chandra would text her eventually- might as well wait in the company of other people instead of the loneliness of her apartment.

* * *

 

"I can't believe you're just now getting out of work!" Jace gawked as Ral practically stumbled out of the Bolas Incorporated building like he was exiting a war zone. His jacket was hanging off his shoulders and his scarf looked like he'd just thrown it on, papers and laptop clearly just tossed and stuffed into his shoulder bag. "I know Nicol Bolas is a real bastard, but it's Chrismas Eve- what could he possibly have you doing this late into the night?"

"Look, not all of our bosses are kindly old guys like Teferi, okay? Getting worked until the very last minute is practically the norm around here, even on the holidays." Ral grumbled as he adjusted his jacket. "I should consider the fact I have the next few days off a blessing- a gift from our kindly slave-driver, Santa Bolas."

"Well I'm just glad he finally let you out- it's fucking freezing out here, I can't even feel my toes." Jace chuckled bitterly as he handed Ral a coffee.

"Jace, holy shit, please don't tell me you waited outside this _entire time_ like a sad puppy waiting for his master." Ral snickered. Jace paused before turning away a bit in embarrassment, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. "You massive idiot, there's literally a coffee shop right on the corner! I mean, I value our friendship, but I really don't think I'm worth getting frost bite over."

"I guess I spaced on that- it's been a long week, I'm pretty sure a large part of my brain is still recovering..." Jace laughed nervously. "Not very smart of me, I know."

"Well, I guess I can't help but feel a little flattered you waited here for me for so long. There's a really good bar down the street from here that should still be open- I can buy you a beer... or perhaps a hot cider or something." Ral offered. "I guess, also, in exchange for this... iced coffee?"

"I don't know if you'll find it sad or worrying that it really did come hot." Jace chuckled. "But I could really use a drink, and by the looks of it, you need one or two yourself."

"Bolas does that to people, trust me. I'm sure more than half the guys I work with have developed unhealthy ways to cope with the shit he puts us through." Ral sighed as the two of them made their way up the street, with him leading the way. "But, the pay is so incredibly good, I guess that's the price I have to pay for being paid a very comfortable wage. Can't have everything these days, can you?"

"At least we have booze." Jace joked.

"And thank the gods for that!" Ral retorted with a smirk.

The bar was incredibly cramped once they finally arrived, just barely able to find places to sit at the seats that lined the windows. With everyone packed in so tight, enjoying their holiday brew, Jace and Ral were practically shoulder to shoulder, their knees knocking together as they sat and waited for their drinks. And honestly, after what seemed like an eternity of being secluded in his own, single cubicle with nothing but the cold glow of his computer for company, Ral honestly didn't mind the tightly-cramped intimacy. He didn't mind any sort of intimacy, in general, so long as it was Jace.

"So... what are your plans for the holiday? Visiting family? Having friends over?" Ral pried. Jace thought for a moment before chuckling to himself and smoothing back his hair.

"I honestly didn't really give it much thought- all I've been thinking of doing lately is finally getting a good night's sleep. I think I'm overdue for a long, hard hibernation." He joked. "Of course, if you want, you're welcome to come and try dragging me out of bed if you want to hang out. I know how much you hate hanging out at home by yourself."

Ral appreciated the thought, although to be truthful, he would honestly not mind hanging out around his own place by himself, if that was really all he had. If Ral really had the courage, he would have explained it as just liking hanging out with Jace and not just writing his constantly coming over to visit as him just not liking being alone. Ral wasn't normally such a social creature- just a fan of Jace's company.

"Hey, if you'll have me, I'd be happy to drag you out of bed for some nice, festive- oh fuck, _Gideon!_ " Ral cut himself off as he looked up and out toward the street, the view of the buildings across the way blocked by Gideon's massive form as he looked back at them with the widest of smiles. Ral, on the other hand, withheld the urge to give a sour-looking glower in return.

"Gideon?" Jace laughed as he looked up as well, his expression lighting up when he noticed they had been spotted from outside by his co-worker who was now practically up against the glass. They could barely hear him give a hearty "Hey, Merry Christmas!" through the glass before he hurried around to the door of the bar.

It wasn't that Ral hated Gideon. Gideon had the disposition of a friendly, goofy golden retriever and was impossible to hate. He just didn't like how friendly he was with Jace, and how he always seemed to materialize when Ral finally got a chance to escape work and hang out. If there was something about it all that Ral hated, it was how Gideon being so incredibly chummy with Jace immediately turned him into the full-grown-man equivalent of a territorial high school girl with a crush.

"Merry Christmas, guys!" Gideon bellowed a second time once he was inside, pushing his way through the crowd to get to them.

"Merry Christmas!" They both said back, Ral a half second later with a little less enthusiasm.

"What are the odds, me running into the both of you so late at night!?" Gideon laughed, slapping them both on the back. It was nothing but a friendly gesture, but it forced Ral to grip the table in front of him to keep from being pushed right out of his chair. "Saves me the trouble of calling, though, I was honestly heading over to Jace's place!"

"Wow, how very rare and unexpected." Ral said with heaping layers of sarcasm, wishing their drinks would arrive a little faster.

"Didn't you have plans with Chandra, though? You were going to go to that arcade bar, I thought." Jace mentioned.

"Oh yeah, about that- turns out she canceled at the very last minute. She said something about having something really important to do, so I figured I'd cut my losses and see if you was doing anything." Gideon explained. "Ral being here is honestly a bonus- the more the merrier, right!?"

Ral could only wish that Gideon showing up could be seen as a bonus from his perspective.

"I don't see why not." Jace grinned, turning to Ral. "You don't mind, do you?"

Ral wished he could say he really did, in fact, mind, but one look at Gideon's eager-as-hell smile and all his bitterness melted away.

"I don't mind, he's cool." He sighed. "But I'm not paying for his drinks, alright? He's on his own."

* * *

 

Nissa had stuck around the bar for there whole, very big rounds with Vivian and her friends. They had all been incredibly accommodating, for a bunch of girls who Nissa hardly spoke with, but with each passing minute that her phone didn't buzz in her pocket Nissa felt more and more like she would wind up dragging their Christmas eve party down. No amount of alcohol was going to chase away the fact that a certain red-head wasn't also there, drinking and laughing. No amount of merriment was going to make Nissa forget her burning desire to hear her voice. In the end, she had bowed out just before the group was about to hop over to another bar, despite everyone's protests and praise about how well Nissa could hold her liquor. She wound up having to make up a wild lie about family coming to visit the next day, and that her apartment was a mess. In truth, Nissa's family hardly ever visited at all, let alone holidays, and her apartment was spotless.

Spotless and very, very empty.

Every breath she exhaled was a sad, solemn sigh, all the way back to her apartment, her eyes hardly looking up from the glowing screen of her phone. Even now, hours after sending the message, it wasn't even marked as read. It was just sitting there delivered, neglected and leaving Nissa to puzzle and worry over why Chandra hadn't answered. Even if it was to say she was busy that night, Nissa would have preferred that than complete radio silence.

"Some Christmas..." She grumbled, glaring down at her phone and at the single Christmas tree emoji she had punctuated her text with, as if it were the sole reason for Chandra's silence. She stood at the door of her apartment, fumbling around blindly in her pockets for her keys as she stared, hardly blinking, down at the neglected text message.

Had Chandra been hurt? Had she broken her phone? Or had she simply gotten fed up with having a long-distance relationship. Every option made Nissa nervous, but the last one especially made her stomach churn in discomfort. Chandra was such the social type, always visiting, always hanging around, always finding excuses to come and see her, whether it be after work, or in the middle of an important meeting. Chandra was a very hands-on, physical lover... maybe the fact they only ever talked over the phone or during her streams had started to become not quite enough. Perhaps, this was the first sign that Chandra has started to move on.

"Some Christmas..." She repeated as she found her keys and moved to unlock her door-

Only for the key to barely press against the key hole before the door slowly creaked open, unlocked and seemingly left slightly ajar. Nissa's feelings of sadness were replaced with ones of on-edge fear as she slowly pulled her hand away and looked back at the door. She was absolutely positive she had locked up that morning before leaving for work. There was no way she had been so careless as to not only leave the door unlocked, but not even close it all the way. Her heart pounded against her chest as she went from holding her apartment key to gripping the small can of mace she also had attached to her key ring.

Holding her breath, she carefully opened the door and slipped inside, walking on her tip toes as she slipped inside. Now that she was inside, she could see the lights on in her living room, and the sounds of someone- or possibly even multiple someones- moving around, not bothering to even conceal the fact they were inside the apartment with her. Nissa pressed herself tight against the wall, slowly sliding along as she inched closer and closer towards the light. She felt the feeling of regret settle into her gut that she didn't have anything by the front door- an umbrella a bat, _anything_ that could be used to defend herself outside of a tiny can of mace.

Arriving mere inches before rounding the corner, she felt as if her heart was about to leap out of her chest. It took incredible effort to steady her breathing at that point, and she feared even so much as simply peering around the corner to catch a glimpse at the intruder. Her only real hope was that she could use the element of surprise to her advantage... unless they were waiting for her to come home.

With that terrifying thought sending a chill down her spine, Nissa squeezed her eyes shut as she leaped around the corner and screamed, fingers at the ready to clamp down on the trigger of her can of mace.

"Merry Chris- oh god, oh fuck, Nissa! Please don't spray that stuff at me, not while we're live!" Someone frantically shouted- a familiar voice that took Nissa's fear that had broken through her overwhelming sadness and twisted it into confusion. With a gasp she opened her eyes, coming to find Chandra cowering near her feet, arms held up to try and defend herself from what was almost a full, healthy helping of pepper spray. She had her chunky headphones she normally wore when she played games on, and she noticed the laptop on her coffee table, a pause screen on display and a smaller window acting as a tiny mirror into Nissa's living room in the corner.

"You... you're streaming..." Nissa said, stunned and having nothing else she could think to say as she slowly lowered the can. "You... you broke into my apartment... to stream."

"I wanted to surprise you! I figured we could stream together, just like old times- and please, god, put that shit away, there are like several dozen people watching and I don't want me getting pepper sprayed on-stream to become the next, big meme!" Chandra pleaded.

"O-oh... sorry..." Nissa stammered awkwardly, quickly pocketing the small can and putting it out of sight.

"Holy shit, don't scare me like that!" Chandra gasped, a hand rested over her heart as she sighed.

"I'm the one who should be saying that, not you! You broke into my apartment and left the door open! I thought you were a robber or something!" Nissa scolded. "Seriously, I thought I was going to have a heart attack!"

"Oh, crap, did I really forget to lock the door?" Chandra asked, throwing a hand apologetically over her mouth. "I'm sorry!"

"You broke into my apartment and you're sorry you didn't lock the door behind you!?" Nissa asked. "A little backwards don't you think?"

"Yeah... I... I guess that was a little weird of me... I just really wanted to surprise you, that's all..." Chandra explained nervously. "I guess I really wasn't thinking and-"

Before she could finish, Nissa scooped her up into a tight, passionate hug. It happened so suddenly that Chandra's headphones slipped off her head and clattered to the floor- but she paid it no mind as she quickly went from stiffening up in surprise to hugging Nissa back just as tight. The anger and nerves that had built up in the room were almost immediately lifted, leaving only silence as the two of them held each other.

"You... you never answered my text... I started to get worried..." Nissa admitted, her words becoming muffled as she buried her face against Chandra's shoulder. "I was afraid you'd gotten tired of the whole long distance thing... and me..."

" _Nissa_!" Chandra gasped, pulling away and resting her hands on her companion's shoulders. Nissa's cheeks were flushed a vibrant red and her eyes were moist with tears she was just barely holding back. "I would never get tired of you, no matter how far apart we wind up getting! You could move half way across the globe and I would still love you just as much!"

"You... you aren't just saying that, are you?" Nissa asked cautiously, her bottom lip beginning to quiver.

"Nissa, you and I both know I don't have a poker face- I couldn't lie even if I wanted to!" Chandra chuckled. "You being a couple of hours away isn't going to change anything about how I feel, I promise."

"I love you..." Nissa whimpered as she rested her head on Chandra's shoulder, tiny sobs escaping her as she pulled her back into a hug. Chandra smiled lovingly as she reached out and gently rubbed Nissa's back.

"I love you, too... oh... hold on a second." She squirmed out of Nissa's embrace one more time, leaving the other woman to wipe at her eyes. Through eyes fogged over by tears, she watched as Chandra riffled through the pockets of her jacket until she produced a large, red bow meant to be placed on top of presents and slapped it on the top of her head with a wide, accomplished grin. "It may not be much but... Merry Christmas."

"Chandra, you dork..." Nissa sniffled, smiling through her tears. "It's exactly what I wanted... thank you."

"Heh, I knew you'd love it." Chandra grinned before glancing over at the computer and laughing. "Wow, look at the chat go. Looks like you guys really liked the show!"

Nissa looked over to the computer as well, noticing a small chat in another corner of the screen, posts scrolling by faster than she could read them. Whoever had been lucky enough to witness their hug, they all seemed to have plenty of things to say about it. Chandra struggled to answer the questions as they flew by, placing her headset back over her head. It was just like old times, back at Chandra's apartment, when she would come over after work. Something about how little things had changed since she had moved caused a warm, relaxed feeling to bloom in her chest.

"Whaddya say, Nissa? Mind being my player two?" Chandra asked eagerly, turning to look up at her with a smile that nearly made Nissa melt and swoon right there in front of the webcam. A content smile spread across her face as she took her spot close beside Chandra.

"Always."

* * *

 

Ral looked out at the city that stretched out below Jace's balcony. It was an ungodly hour in the morning and he had woken up on the uncomfortable hardwood floor of Jace's living room, huddled under a single pillow like it were a blanket. Gideon and Jace had taken the couch, sound asleep as he had been, and probably way more comfortable. It wasn't the most pleasant way to wake up, Ral had to admit, his head still swimming from the alcohol and looking up to see Jace sleeping with his head resting against Gideon's shoulder. He also had to admit they looked cute together, asleep like they were, and even though it had been a simple, passing thought, it left him feeling incredibly bitter.

"I should just give it up. Maybe 'just friends' is as good as it's gonna get." He muttered to himself, taking a long drag of his cigarette. "I should Just be happy with that- Jace certainly is."

The rattle of the sliding door at his back startled him enough to make him drop his smoke, and with his lips tightly pressed together, Ral quickly whirled around, hoping that whoever it was hadn't just heard him talking to himself.

"Ral?" It was Jace, the throw that had been hanging over the couch now thrown over his shoulders and gathered around him. Hoping that he hadn't heard him talking to himself turned into Ral praying to any deity that still cared. "What the hell are you doing out here, aren't you cold?"

"Hmm? Oh, no, not really, I just popped out here for a smoke-" Ral looked down at his now empty hand, only then realizing that his cigarette had slipped from his hand and was now probably several floors below them now. Looking around, he went from holding his hands up to hold nothing at all, to shoving them awkwardly into his pockets. "I didn't want to wake you up, and I know you really hate it when I smoke inside."

"What time is it?" Jace asked with a yawn, surprisingly joining him outside and closing the door carefulyl behind him.

"It's like two in the morning. Merry Christmas." Ral halfheartedly cheered. "Sorry I'm not much of a Santa, all I can offer you is the last of my cigarettes."

"No thanks, I'm trying to quit." Jace laughed as he joined him in looking out at the view. Hardly a light lit up the town, leaving the city feeling like it was drenched in darkness. Ral had seen a snowflake or two flutter down from the clouds above, but it was hardly what he would call a "white christmas". It was just cold.

"Suit yourself. You know what they say about quitters never winning." Ral chuckled with a roll of his eyes as he pulled himself out a second cigarette and his lighter.

"I don't think they came up with that saying to refer to quitting smoking, Ral." Jace smirked.

"Well I do." Ral chuckled before feeling something warm drape itself over his shoulders. He froze up, immediately assuming it was Jace's arm, but as he turned to inspect what had just happened, it appeared Jace had simply tossed half the throw over his shoulders to share the warmth with him. But this involved Jace being forced to huddle closer, their bodies brushing up against one another, leaving Ral with hardly even a chance to feel disappointed. "...Thanks."

"You looked cold." Jace remarked before a brief silence fell over them. The entire city seemed to echo the silence back, like the whole world was asleep and they were the only two who were awake. Ral took a long, thoughtful drag of his cigarette, thousands of different thoughts running through his head- a lot of them unusable and even more of them being things he dared not say aloud. He wished he could voice them, but he was afraid of what would come after. Ral had fallen out with enough of his friends, he wasn't about to risk ruining what he had with Jace, even if it was just meeting up after work to drink and sharing long, drawn-out silences on his balcony.

"Hey... thanks for sticking around with me this passed year." Ral finally spoke up, refusing to take his eyes off of the horizon. "This year has just been one crazy thing after another for both of us... Call me a sap, but I'm just really glad you were around for most of it. I... I'm glad you're my friend, Jace."

The feeling of Jace resting his head on Ral's shoulder gave him an incredible shock, enough to make him gasp. Jace's head was warm, and he could feel the softness of his hair brush up against his neck.

"J-Jace, what-?" He began to stammer before he looked down to realize that Jace's eyes were closed in a very relaxed way, not a sound escaping him but the sound of his calm, even breathing (Which was nothing like Ral's, who felt like his heart was about to fly up his throat and out his mouth).

"Ah, so you really _can_ fall asleep standing up." He sighed, forcing himself to relax. This wasn't what he had really wanted, but if he were have to choose between having Jace there, close enough to where he felt comfortable falling asleep on his shoulder and having nothing at all... Ral would happily stay by Jace's side. And, with any luck, he would be able to look out at the same early-morning Christmas view the next year, and the year after that, and the year after that, with Jace right there with him.

"Sweet dreams, Jace." He whispered with a smile. "Merry Christmas."


	4. I love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alena has a giant crush on her fellow classmate, Hal, but is unable to voice her feelings for fear of being rejected. One night, when she spies Hal sneaking out of the school dorms, she's forced to follow after her. A string of disappearances and deaths have occurred among the student body, and she fears Hal might be next. But what she finds, instead, opens up a whole new world of horror, and leaves her fearing for her own life.

The first disappearance was at the beginning of the school year. A student in her fourth year at Saint Avacyn's School for Girls suddenly vanished one night- didn't tell her roommate where she went, didn't leave a note, wasn't spotted by any of the nuns on duty that night, just up and walked out and never came back. Of course the police got involved, missing posters were made, but we really didn't bat an eye. We got to a Catholic all-girls boarding school, where half of us are sent as a punishment. Girls running off isn't exactly uncommon and shocking. Some of us even rooted for the girl, on the run from a life she didn't want.

But then a second girl went missing.

It was all the same story: left without telling anyone, made it passed security and vanished. Things started to get tense among the school staff. There was an assembly about it, and we were told that if we knew anything that we needed to come forward- which nobody did, either out of some misguided moral reason or because legitimately nobody knew what happened to her. We kept our mouths shut and our heads down and kept the talk of what might have happened to her to hushed whispers and gossip.

Months went by, and a third and even a fourth student performed the same vanishing act. Parents started to get concerned, a lot of them threatening to take their girls out of the school if something wasn't done or an explanation wasn't found. Us students went from low-key admiring these girls for escaping the system to live the lives they wanted to low-key worrying about what exactly was going on. Before this particular year, I think there was only really one girl who tried to make a run for it, and the cops wound up bringing her back a few days later. Now, girls were vanishing like snow in June, and not even the authorities and all the missing posters they could print could locate them. We tried to move on, we tried to ignore the subtle feeling of dread...

And then my roommate went missing: A good, god-fearing girl, always saying her prayers before bed-time. She left all of her belongings- all her photos of her family, her clothes, her bible, her crucifix necklace she was always clutching. It didn't make any sense for her to suddenly decide to leave, and it made no sense for anybody to leave with nothing but the uniform on their back. But, just like the others, she disappeared, even though they had beefed up security, even though the police patrolled the neighborhood twice as often as they used to.

But, unlike the others before her, her case was different, because they found her... or, rather, what was left of her.

At first, all we got was news that they had found her body. The nuns refused to give us any more information, and reports on the actual news didn't really paint much of a detailed picture either, instead choosing to talk about how much her family had loved her, and how she wanted to a concert pianist, or something. Nobody dared share the gruesome details- until a trashy news site online somehow got access to photos taken at the crime scene. There was an attempt to keep the information from getting out- the site was shut down a day after publishing the story, but at that point, the damage had been done. It was out there on the internet, and once the message boards and horror blogs find it, you might as well be fighting a forest fire with a squirt gun.

I remember one of my friends shoving her phone in my face, gasping and crying about it before the nun leading our class took it from her. I only saw a glimpse of the photo that went viral: the headless corpse with its entrails spilling out the other end, like a bunch of bad, disgusting sausage. That was all I needed, only a half-second glance. I never once tried looking the news up myself to try and see what was probably a lot more shots of the same horrifying thing. I wanted to forget what I saw, even though every time I return to my dorm room, to half the room cleaned out completely, I still remember the image.

"Don't tell the paparazzi anything." I remember a nun sternly telling me the day the news of just how bad the tragedy was got out. I'd been called into the head-mistresses office, like I was in trouble and had something to do with the crime. "Don't tell them you were her roommate. Don't give them anything to write about. Poor, dear Sofia has suffered enough, we don't want them to continue to make her death a spectacle."

After that, we all went about our days in fear we might be next. We still have missing posters of the other girls who have gone missing, and we all can't help but wonder if they're still out there, torn apart and rotting, their mangled corpses still waiting to be found. Nobody talks about those girls like they're the lucky ones who escaped the system any more. Nobody talks about them at all.

It's been a month now, I think to myself as I wander the halls between classes. It's been a month and we're all still drifting around like we're one, big funeral procession. It's been a month of holding our breath and waiting. And _fearing._

Losing myself in my own thoughts I trip over my own two feet, dropping all my books to the floor. I withhold uttering the "goddamnit" that's right on the tip of my tongue, the familiar sight of a nun's habit in the corner of my vision. I've developed something of a sixth sense for when any of the nuns from the adjacent nunnery who help to run the school are around, and it's probably my most useless and most helpful skill. I don't think it's going to get me into any colleges, but it's certainly saved me a good few smacks with a ruler. Instead of cursing, I mutter in frustration to myself as I get down on my hands and knees to gather my things.

And that's when I see her, at what could honestly be the worst or best angle, depending on how much of a conscience you have. In my case, when it comes to ogling the most beautiful girl in school (my personal opinion, but I bet a lot of girls with tastes like mine would agree with firm shakes of their heads and with rosy-red cheeks), Jiminy Cricket shuts right the hell up. She parts the crowd before her, like Moses parting the Red Sea, if Moses wore a skirt rolled up just enough to reveal a tempting peak of thigh and a thong (something I think that only I, down here on the floor, can claim she's wearing). She smells like roses with a gaze as sharp as thorns to match.

The bible can honestly suck it, because Hal, with her dark skin and long, braided black hair, un-tucked shirt,blazer tossed loosely over her shoulder and the best ass I've ever seen, is the very picture of an angel. In this school with religious iconography around every corner, she alone is holy.

_And did I mention her ass?_

"You know, Alena, some people view dropping things on the floor to look up an innocent girl's skirt to be deplorable, you know?" A voice above me laughs. I gasp and tear my eyes away from Hal, who has long since passed me and my wandering eyes, to look up to see my friend, Thalia, looming over me with a shit-eating grin. "Such behavior would make little, baby Jesus cry... or something." She snorts in amusement and I blush, giving everything away with just the hue upon my cheeks.

Thalia is one of those girls who didn't come here by choice. I only ever heard she was sent here as apart of some court mandate, and I never had the balls to ask her to specify. She seems very much the type of girl who would attend Saint Avacyn's breeding ground for nuns, uniform worn to the appropriate specifications and wavy, white-blond hair, but the smell of cigarettes on her breath always gives her away. She smirks at me as she offers me her hand and I take it with a grumble.

"If you really must know, I really did drop my things." I say in my defense, but that's really all I can say. I'd never intentionally set things up so I could look up a girl's skirt... but in the end, nice ass is nice ass. And they're always going on about standing in admiration of the beauty of god's creations every Sunday, so...

"The way you obviously lust after that girl almost gives me second-hand embarrassment, you know?" Thalia teases. "Can't you be reserved about your big, fat girl crush like the rest of us, hiding behind our bibles and stealing innocent glances?" She pauses and snorts again behind closed lips. Thalia isn't really much of the "stealing innocent glances" type. She's more of the "makes out with her girlfriend, Sigarda, almost every day inside the janitor's closet" type.

"Shut up." A snarl playfully, giving her a gentle elbow in the ribs.

"Seriously, though, unless you like the whole repression thing, I'd get on that if I were you." Thalia urges.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean we're in our final year, and you've hardly so much as said a word to the girl. If you don't come clean and tell her that you have the crush the size of a mountain on her, you're going to miss your chance." Thalia sighs. "For all you know, once she graduates, she's going to take a vow of chastity and start working her way up to becoming a nun."

"Uugh... I know." I admit bitterly. "But how in the world do you even tell a girl like that you like her? She might just wind up laughing in my face."

"Yeah, I see what you mean." Thalia agrees, maybe a little too wholeheartedly. It takes me a good, long while to decide if I should be offended or not. "How in the world does she get away with rolling her skirt up that far anyway? Like I don't think I even remember what my knees look like." She looks down at her skirt thoughtfully, taking the waistline and rolling it up until it's well above her knees, revealing her toned legs that are shaped to perfection from years of soccer and running from angry nuns.

"Miss Thalia, if you know what's good for you, you'll unroll that skirt." A nearby nun passing by scolds, almost as if she materialized the second someone dared to break a rule.

"Yes, sister." Thalia says with a roll of her eyes, letting her skirt fall back down over her legs. It's my turn, now, to laugh.

"Just once, I want to get away with what that girl gets away with." She grumbles as the two of us look in the direction Hal has gone. She's a little further down the hall now, stopping to talk to Professor Ulrich, the new history teacher and the talk of the school if, you know, you're in to older men.

Professor Ulrich is what you'd call ruggedly handsome, age doing nothing but make him more appealing. His long, white hair is pulled back into a tight, tidy ponytail, and the white facial hair around his face is trimmed and well-kept. He has a worldly air about him, like a man who has traveled to every corner of the world, bringing back tales and knowledge with him to this tiny little Catholic girl's school. For a man his age, even with a suit on you can tell the guy keeps himself in shape, the bulge of his biceps clearly standing out under the thick, black sleeves of his jacket as he folds his arms. He's tall, well over six feet, which not a lot of people around here can boast. In short, if you have a daddy kink, Professior Ulrich is the full package.

"You know, scratch what I said about her graduating and becoming a nun, maybe she's on the hunt for a sugar daddy." Thalia chuckles.

"Oh my god, could you shut up, they're just talking." I groan. "Probably about homework or the weather or something not sexually charged at all."

"I think you need a lesson in body language." Thalia shoots back. "Look at her, the way she gets all close to him. From where he's standing, he can probably see right down her unbuttoned shirt. She's wearing perfume, she's rolling up her skirt- she's touching his arm..."

"Piss off, Thalia." I snarl, feeling my cheeks grow warm. I don't want to admit what it looks like- I don't even want to assume. I don't want to watch Hal laugh at something Professor Ulrich has said, like it's the funniest thing in the world. The thought of losing her to a man more than twice our age before I even got a chance to try makes my stomach twist itself into knots- because I'm just a plain girl, somebody you wouldn't be able to pick out of a crowd of girls wearing the same exact, drab uniform. I'm hardly a somebody, my only claim to fame being that I'm the girl who roomed with the other girl who got absolutely torn to shreds. And, last I checked, that's not something anybody finds attractive.

Last I checked, that's hardly a valid reason for an angel like her to even grace me with her presence.

* * *

 

Late into the night, I find myself not being able to sleep, as always. Nightmares keep me up at night, like I'm being haunted by the ghost of my dead roommate. A lot of my nights are occupied with doing homework and getting ahead on my reading. At this point, I don't have to worry about having to bang out an essay the night before it's due. Having you roommate get murdered without an explanation as to why and who can really turn you into an excellent student.

The sound of someone knocking lightly on my door rouses me from my work, and at first I presume it's going to be one of the nuns who does the nightly rounds, come to tell me that light's out was hours ago and that I need to go to bed. But, it turns out, as I open the door, it's Thalia holding up a pack of cigarettes and giving me a nervous, pleading grin.

"It's so nice that you don't ever sleep." She greets me, already halfway through my door before I've even said a word.

"Oh you know, what are friends for? I do it all for you, and certainly not because of awful night-terrors." I say sarcastically. "Can't you ignore your awful nicotine craving at least for one night?"

"Not unless you want to see me getting the shakes tomorrow." Thalia laughs before nervously looking down the hallway. "Come on, please, just one smoke! I can't smoke in my own room- I have a roommate and my dorm room looks out at the street. If the headmistress hears someone saw me smoking out my window, she's going to bring the wrath of god down on my ass!"

"Well how convenient for you my roommate met an unfortunate end." I sigh and step completely out of her way, letting her in. "One cigarette, okay? _One_!"

"You're such a good enabler, and that's why I love you." Thalia grins as she leaps into my room. I quietly shut the door, knowing full well that if Thalia is caught in my room after curfew with a packet of cigarettes, I'm going to catch just as much shit. There's really no turning back now, all I can do is let her get her fix and send her on her way before both of us wind up in trouble.

Thalia throws open my window, letting a cool breeze in that turns the pages of my book set up at my desk, completely losing my place. At least, I'm able to gather my loose papers before they're blown off of the desk and onto the floor. Setting my things on my bed I join Thalia at the window as the pulls out a cigarette with her mouth and tucks her hair behind her ear- a small, little gesture that I can't help but feel is erotic in some way. Thalia's no Hal, but she certainly isn't unattractive by any means, to the point where she can make nursing a smoking habit look sexy. Maybe this is why I always wind up letting her into my room for her late-night smoke: I'm just a big, lesbian disaster.

"Sorry, by the way, about teasing you today about Hal." Thalia mentions as she flicks her lighter a few times, creating sparks and not much else. "You're fun to tease, but you seemed legitimately pissed off today."

"I'm just on edge and low on sleep, it's fine." I brush her apology off. "If I wind up losing Hal to a guy who was full grown by the time I was fucking born, I have nobody to blame but myself."

"If it's any consolation, you'll probably get a lot of action in college. Girls will fall head over ass for a cute little baby lesbian." Thalia jokes, finally lighting her cigarette and pausing to take a drag that I swear eats up half the length of the thing, turning it into a stick of smoldering ash. "Once we're out of here and not cooped up in a stuffy all-girls school associated with a nunnery, you'll see that pretty Hal and her fantastic ass aren't all that pretty and fantastic."

"Heh, thanks..." I give her a halfhearted laugh, but I know deep down that what she's saying isn't true. You always remember your first love, and I know for a damn fact that I'm not going to forget about Hal. I'm not going to forget her flawless, ebony skin and her body built like a dancer's. I'm not going to forget the smell of her perfume. I'm not going to forget the way my heart aches whenever I see her talking to someone else. I might find someone else, but I know for a fact I'll never, truly move on.

"Oh my god- Alena, oh my god!" Thalia suddenly gasps, smacking me multiple times on the shoulder enough to where I fear she's left a bruise. I pull away, nursing my aching shoulder and giving her a few good slaps of my own.

"Thalia, fuck, _stop_!" I snap before she reaches out and grasps my chin, forcing my gaze down at the grounds below my window- and what I see makes me go absolutely silent. There, hood over her head and looking about as she carefully sneaks across the lawn is Hal. I can tell it's her by the braid poking out from her hood.

With a gasp, both Thalia and I duck down, peering over the windowsill as we hold our breath. She doesn't seem to have heard us, or notice the one light on in the whole dorm, giving her quiet escape a gentle spotlight. She continues her careful creep across the lawn while Thalia and I keep quiet watch.

"How'd she get passed security?" Thalia whispers, but all I can so is shush her, not taking my eyes off of Hal until she rounds the corner and ducks out of sight.

"Where do you think she's going!?" Thalia asks as the two of us slowly rise back up. "I mean, I certainly don't think she's making a midnight trip to the chapel for a quick prayer- she's up to some shit!"

"I-I don't know..." I mutter, leaning out my window like I'll be able to see her still. "She looked really nervous..."

"We need to go after her!"

I practically take myself out as I pull myself in, nearly bashing my bead against the frame of the window.

"Thalia, no! If we get caught, we could wind up in major trouble! I'm not talking about getting some smacks across the wrist, I'm talking suspension- _expulsion_!" I gasp. "We can't- there's no way!"

"What about Hal, then? What if something happens to her while she's off sneaking around, huh?" Thalia asks, narrowing her eyes. "What if she winds up like your dead roommate, guts all over the place like a party-popper!"

"Shut up, shut up, _shut up_!" I cry, throwing my hands over my ears and shaking my head. I wish desperately she'd just stopped at "dead roommate".

"We have to do something Alena, whether you like it or not, we're the only people right now who know she's sneaking out! And, we might be the only two people who can make sure she gets back here safe." Thalia continues, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me. "Don't you want to make sure the girl you love makes it back to the dorms alive! There's a fucking psychopath out there, ripping girls open like they're presents and-"

"If you make another analogy about guts, I swear to god, Thalia, I _will_ puke all over you!" I snarl, my voice lacking a bit of bite as I feel myself grow light headed.

"Okay, fine, but you know I'm right!" Thalia groans. "We need to tail her to make sure she's alright! Plus, I hear saving a girl's life from a crazed murderer is a huge turn-on!"

"Thalia, please-"

"She'll melt in your hands like butter, Alena!" She continues. "Please, just stop being a goody-two-shoes for once and take a bit of risk! The reason you've hardly so much as said three words to that girl is because you're always cooped up like this, afraid of what might happen. If you don't try, you'll never know, and while you're up here afraid of getting a scolding, she might wind up getting murdered- then you'll _really_ miss your chance!"

"..." I stare out into the open window, out into the dark that's swallowed Hal up. It's suddenly hard to breath and even harder to think as my eyes wander to the almost sterile half of my dorm room. That could be her: the next girl completely wiped from existence, to be nothing but whispers and bits and pieces of an unsolved horror story. It could be her... "Fine, fine, alright! But if we're caught, I'm saying you threatened me and you _know_ I can cry on command!"

"Hell yeah, that's my girl!" Thalia smiles from ear to ear. "Come on, then, grab a jacket and let's get a move on before she puts too much distance between us!"

I throw on the darkest jacket I have and arm myself as best as I can, grabbing the bat I have stashed away in my closet from that one time I tried playing on the school softball team and wound up quitting after getting knocked out by a rogue softball. Thalia has nothing but her cigarettes and her lighter, but she seems perfectly content with that, putting way too much faith in my swing I haven't given much practice for well over a year. She seems way too excited, giddy enough about the potential of having to stop a kidnapping or a murder for both of us and then some.

"Let's go, let's go!" She whispers as I crack open my door. No familiar nun-shaped silhouettes are coming from either side of the hall, so it's at least safe to slink out of my room and outside into the hall- for now, at least.

"It's surprisingly quiet." I mention under my breath as the two of us tip-toe towards the stairs.

"Yeah, now that I think about it, I didn't even have to sneak around a single person on my way here. Usually I have to duck around at least one corner to keep from being spotted." Thalia comments. "I clearly remember they were really getting serious about security..."

Much to our surprise, we're able to make our way down the stairs and all the way to the lobby of the dorms without a single obstacle. The last thing that remains is the security office, where the nuns who are assigned to keep watch for the night trade shifts and keep watch over the front door. The lights inside are on, bathing the lobby in a bright, orange glow, but as we peer around the corner, we don't see even a bit of movement. I'm way too afraid to even step a single toe around the corner and into view, but Thalia, on the other hand, has other ideas.

"The hell...?" She whispers as she creeps around the corner, no amount of me sharply whispering her name forcing her to return to our hiding place. I desperately grip my bat and am forced to watch as she slowly makes her way over to the room, and peers through the window without even the slightest bit of subterfuge.

"Thalia, what the hell!" I hiss, but much to my shock, not a single person inside perks up at the sight of Thalia standing right there in plain view. "What are you doing!"

"You're not going to believe this- they're out cold!" She calls quietly across the lobby to me, waving me over to come and see. I can't imagine this is some sort of trick, despite the fact I don't quite trust her words, but I carefully make my way over to her anyway, holding my breath the entire way until I reach her side. Sure enough, all four nuns who are supposed to be diligently watching over the dorms are fast asleep in their chairs, snoring. "No wonder we didn't see anyone."

"But-"

"No time to look a gift horse in the mouth, Alena! Let's bust out of here before they wake up!" Thalia interrupts, grabbing me by the wrist and pulling me toward the front doors. They lock from the inside, but it seems like someone's already left them carelessly unlocked, probably in anticipation for their- or rather _her_ return. I take one last glance back the way we have come, unable to keep from feeling like all of this is way too fishy to ignore. Lucky for me, Thalia doesn't see anything wrong with our astronomical amount of luck and leads me through the doors and out of the building.

"Sweet freedom!" She jokes, holding her hands up in the air.

"Keep your voice down, jeeze! We're not out of the woods just yet! We still have to sneak off campus." I warn her. But, as we continue our quiet escape, going the way we had seen Hal sneak off to, we continue to meet a complete and utter lack of resistance. No grounds keepers, no random watch- nothing! Our journey to a gate in the fence around the campus, left thoughtlessly ajar, is completely free and clear. But, even though we've made it out, my heart still pounds against my chest like a jackhammer, hard enough to where each thud leaves a physical ache inside me.

"Which way did she go?" Thalia asks as we scan the empty streets, lit only by street lamps. By a complete stroke of luck, I see a figure walk around the corner out of sight, their shadow vanishing a split-second after. I tap Thalia on the shoulder, my lips tightly pressed together as I point furiously in that direction. With a nod, the two of us creep after our target, careful to not even let our feet scrape against the sidewalk- careful to not even breath heavily. We stop our pursuit at the corner and peer around, careful not to let more than our eyes poke out from around it.

There she is, at the street corner, texting on her phone and looking around. As soon as we confirm it's her we dive back around the corner, making all kinds of gestures at one another I'm sure the other hardly understands. We point and shake our heads and flail about, and I'm certain that if anybody could see us right now, we probably look absolutely ridiculous- also be in deep shit. Our frantic game of charades comes to a quick end as we hear her speak up, apparently answering her phone.

"Yeah, I got out. Where did you want to meet?" I hear her ask. There's a brief pause, probably the other person talking, before she speaks up again, her words mixed with a chuckle that sounds surprisingly... _flirtatious_. "Okay, hold your horses. I'll be over there soon. We've both been waiting long enough for this, I don't want to waste any more time."

"Who the...?" I mouth as I look around the corner, just in time to see her hang up and quickly dash across the street.

"Who do you think that was?" Thalia asks, but I don't have the heart to answer. I don't want to imagine who she's meeting this late at night in secret- who can summon up that intoxicating laughter of hers. I don't want to know, and yet, as Hal ducks around another corner, we follow after her in hot pursuit.

After what seems like an eternity of winding around streets and hiding around corners, our chase eventually leads us to a large abandoned building completely fenced off and surrounded by "keep out" signs and ones that list off warnings and the types of legal trouble we can and will be in if we trespass. Despite all of these, however, Hal sees no problem with sneaking through a hole in the fence, casting one last cautious look out into the street before she creeps inside. Now she's out after curfew _and_ trespassing- crimes that me and Thalia are likely seconds away from mirroring, despite how much I really don't want to add breaking the law to breaking school rules.

"This place used to be an old rubber factory, I think." Thalia mentions, like what this place used to be matters at all. "What the hell is Hal doing here?"

"What kind of weirdo has a teenage girl meet them late at night at an abandoned factory?" I ask as we approach the fence. The warning sign lists off the potential punishments for trespassing inside the abandoned factory grounds, including a huge fee that's probably more money then I'll ever see in my lifetime and jail time. The anxiety building up inside of me is starting to make it hard to breath.

"The type of person who likes snapping girls in two, like twigs, and spilling their guts out like spaghetti." Thalia's comment only ads to the anxiety I feel. There's a strong chance that I'm going to vomit- if not now, then definitely some time in the future, I can feel it. "Best to get in there before they get the chance."

"Thalia, wait!" I hiss, but by the time I finish, she's already slipped inside, and I'm standing out on the sidewalk alone, clutching my bat and looking every bit suspicious.

"Quick, idiot, before someone sees!" She whispers sternly, shifting about impatiently until I give in with a nervous groan and join her on the other side of the fence. I've never really broken a law before, but after tonight I'm pretty sure I'm not going to make much of a habit of it. But this isn't for foolish, impulsive thrill seeking, this is to keep watch over the girl who I've been crushing on for years so... I can at least give myself a pass this time, even though the cops probably won't- if we're caught, anyway.

"This place is huge, must have been a real booming place before it shut down." Thalia remarks as we approach, entering through the same doors as Hal had. She's nowhere in sight, but the space is so quiet we can hear her footsteps- and in this enclosed space I swear I can smell her perfume. That or an old rubber factory has the tendency to smell like a rose garden. With only our phones to light the way, we tip-toe down the dilapidated hall, stepping over debris and ducking under loose pipes sinking down from the ceiling.

The hallways of the factory are long and twisting, and we're forced to make strange detours around holes in the floor and passed spaces that are completely inaccessible due to the amount of rubble in the way. We follow the sound of footsteps deeper and deeper into the structure until we're led into a massive, open room- probably where they kept a lot of the heavy machinery- the ceiling partially collapsed, letting in the moonlight and lighting up the space enough to see everything inside. Creeping onto the metal walkway, Thalia and I keep close to the ground, peering over the railing as we hear voices from down below.

"Sorry to have kept you waiting- you don't really strike me as being a patient man." I hear Hal speak as she walks into view.

"Oh, for you I can be very patient." I male voice answers back as a figure steps out from the shadows. I feel my heart sink, and at the same time that vomit I was sure was going to come up doesn't seem like it's about to give up the ghost just yet. It's Professor Ulrich, wearing his same, well-pressed suit, like they're casually meeting up at school and not at an abandoned factory. "I've waited this long for you to give in to my advances, haven't I?"

"Strange, I could have sworn you practically begged me to come here." Hal laughs as the two of them draw closer- close enough to touch, close enough to hold. Close enough to make me nauseous.

"Heh, can you blame me- a girl as beautiful as you?" Ulrich laughs, not at all put off by her comment as he reaches out and runs his hand along her cheek. "You smell divine."

"It's my favorite brand of perfume. Men like you seem to like it just fine." Hal giggles- _fucking giggles_ \- as she allows him to touch her with his creepy full-grown man hands. I bite my lip, almost hard enough to draw blood, gripping the railing of the walkway in one hand, and my bat in the other.

"I want you, Hal. I've kept my distance at school, but I can't wait any longer- you've kept me waiting long enough." Ulrich says, his voice deep and lustful as his fingers comb through the hair hanging around her face.

"I've waited long enough as well- too long." Hal agrees. "So why don't we get this over with?"

"No..." I can't help but squeak out. My small cry carries an impressive distance in the hush of the abandoned factory. Thalia hears it as she grabs me tight by the shoulder and pulls me away from the edge of the walkway. Hal hears it as she turns around in surprise. And, most of all, Ulrich hears it as he glares up at the walkway, right at us, a look of nothing less than murder showing very prominently on his face.

"What the hell are you doing here!" Hal shouts up at us, looking and sounding surprisingly frantic. She doesn't seem like a girl who just got her midnight tryst interrupted- she seems fearful, both for her sake and for us. I can't imagine why, at this point, but the look in her eyes makes me feel as if me and Thalia are in very real danger by being here.

What follows almost seems to happen in slow motion before my eyes, with things getting weirder and weirder by the second. I don't expect Ulrich to push passed Hal, shoving her out of his way, and I don't expect her to fly an impressive distance, as if she were blown back by an explosion instead of pushed aside by Ulrich's arm. I don't expect him to start growing in size- something that I first assume is just a trick of the light, but nope, he is definitely growing taller, getting wider and bulkier. It's at this point that Thalia and I start to stumble backward, and I feel her yank me by the collar of my jacket as she makes her retreat. And, as Ulrich's hulking form is obscured from my view, I hear a sound that's a cross between a horribly angry shout and a blood-curdling roar.

"What the fuck! _What_ the _fuck_!" Thalia screams as the two of us stumble back into the hallway, tripping over our own two feet in fear. "What the fuck _is that!?_ "

"Shut up and run!" I shout, pushing her forward as I throw a look over my shoulder- curiosity somehow overcoming the fear gripping tight at every nerve. Dread hits me hard enough to hurt as a massive, clawed hand covered in white, shaggy fur grips the railing of the walkway enough to crumple it, as if it were made out of paper. I can't hear myself over the horrible, terrifying animal-like noise echoing all around us, as well as the thudding of my own frantic heartbeat, but I'm pretty sure I screamed.

Thalia and I sprint through the dark hallways of the factory, blindly tripping over debris and running into walls. We don't have time to light our way, or to stop and remember the way we came. We can only run and try to get as far away from that thing that I can hear behind us. It's clawing at the walls and smashing through things blocking it's way that we weave and duck around. I can hear it's ragged breath and it's furious snarl. I'm so afraid that tears spring from my eyes, mingling with sweat pouring down my face as we run and run and run, finding only more filthy hallways and desolate rooms.

I dare to look behind us again, to see if the thing is gaining on us our not. All I see are vague shapes in the darkness... and furiously glowing eyes.

With a gasp, I feel something trip me up. I try to use the bat in my hands as a crutch, but it slips from my sweat-covered hands and tumbles to the floor. Only able to cry out I fall forward, clumsily trying to catch myself as I stumble and skid. I hear Thalia call my name, but it's overwhelmed by the noises of the creature bearing down on me. I move to drag myself up and continue running, but something pulls me back- and then I feel pain.

I remember once, when I was a kid, when I was helping a family friend dismantle a shed in their backyard, and how a nail pierced clean through my shoe and stabbed right into my foot. I still have the scar and can remember how horrible it stung. This... this is so much worse than that. I feel the hot breath of the monster against my leg as it sinks it's teeth into my shoe and right into my foot. I scream and I scram, trying to find something to grab on to as it drags me into the darkness, biting down harder each time I try to escape. I'm so, so sure that it's eventually just going to chew my foot off, and I can feel the sticky warmth of blood fill my shoe. My hands only find lose material lying on the ground and dirty, broken tile as I'm dragged away.

"Let go of her, you motherfucker!" I hear Thalia snarl through her fear, and I can barely see her brandishing the bat I had dropped along the way. She swings it down with incredible force, bellowing as she does so, and I can feel the impact through the creature's teeth. It makes a surprised noise, a sharp whine echoing in the darkness, as it stops pulling me back the way we had come. I hear Thalia shout again as the bat collides with the face of the creature, and I can't tell, in this darkness, if she's yelling through fury or through tears. She beats it again and again until it finally loosens it's jaws enough and I pull myself free.

"Are you okay!?" She asks me, and to be quite honest, the pain is so bad I can hardly speak or breathe. I take a step and my foot feels like it's on fire. My foot slips a little from the slickness of blood leaking from my shoe. But, even through the pain, my absolute terror rings true, and it pushes me on even though the pain is blinding. It's okay, I can hardly see anything in the dark anyway.

"I'm fine, just run!" I lie as we continue our charge into the dark. We round corner after corner, the halls seeming to get narrower and narrower. I fear we're going in circles. I fear we're not going to make it. I fear we're going to die here and be immortalized on horror-themed message boards as disemboweled corpses, our killer never found. I fear I'll never be able to tell Hal how I feel.

"Over there!" Thalia screams, pulling me by the arm down another narrow hallway. A sliver of light can be seen, cutting through the darkness. An exit! We're free! We barrel forward, and in that moment it feels like a nightmare, where you run as fast as you can and get nowhere- all while a terrifying monster is at your very heels. I hold out my arms, desperately reaching for our one chance of escape, hands grasping at empty air. For a second, I'm focused so hard on escape, the pain in my foot seems to vanish.

We push through the exit, the heavy door no match for our fear-powered adrenaline. We fly out into freedom before tripping and falling down the short flight of stairs just outside. It's a fall that would have hurt if we cared to stop and examine our bruises and lick our wounds, but instead we scramble back up, gasping for breath as we continue our desperate run forward- only for something to leap in our way, blocking our view of the fence and blotting the light of the moon, drenching us both in darkness. I would scream, but I'm so afraid that nothing comes out but a rush of air.

A massive wolf-man that is probably as wide as he is tall looms over us, baring his massive, sharp teeth in our direction. He swipes a clawed hand easily the size of my body in our direction, forcing us backward, back toward the factory we just escaped from. Thalia grabs my arm as we meagerly stumble backward, and I do the same, only having enough energy in the both of us left to cower. A sound passed through the monster's lips that's a mix between a laugh and a growl as his shoulders shake rhythmically.

"You two brats ruined a perfectly good meal. I was promised a feast, but now I'm forced to indulge myself in you two little scraps!" He snarls. "I can only hope there's still room in my stomach for that Hal girl once I'm done devouring the both of you!"

He opens his mouth wide, and I'm pretty sure with a mouth that big me could probably swallow us whole, bones and all. I never imagined how I would handle being faced with my own death, but as I look deep into the dark depths, passed the monstrous teeth and jaws of Ulrich in his true, terrifying, beastly form, it seems I plan to take a very undignified leave as I piss myself in terror.

However, before he can sink his teeth into either of us, a loud, deafening bang rings through the air, and Ulrich stops cold in his tracks, a pained gurgle escaping him. His eyes grow wide in surprise as he stumbles back, hands feeling along his fur-covered chest to discover a dark, bloody hole that quickly soaks his pure-white fur and dyes it crimson. He looks back up, his mouth agape in surprise before his eyes roll back. He stumbles backward a few more times before his legs give out from beneath him, his fall creating a small tremor that shakes the ground below us.

"Sorry, these girls aren't on the menu tonight, you bastard. You're going to have to settle with silver." A triumphant voice speaks up from behind us. Both me and Thalia gasp as we turn around, looking up, still clutching one another for dear life, coming face to sweat-and-tear-streaked face with Hal, holding a still smoking pistol in her hands.

"H-Hal!" I speak up, my voice quivering like crazy as I try to find words to say. What exactly do you say to the girl who just saved your life from a rampaging wolf-monster who used to be your history professor? You'd think there would be an absolute wealth of things to say, but instead my mouth hangs agape and I come up with nothing.

"That was a really stupid thing you two got yourselves into." She scolds, pocketing her weapon as she hops down the steps. "I could have handled this asshole myself, but thanks to you, you put all of us in danger."

"Hey, wh-what the hell even was that!? What in the actual fuck is going on here!?" Thalia shouts as Hal circles around us to inspect the body of the monster. She gives his arms a swift, hearty kick, gaining no response from the corpse but certainly from us as we jump where we're sitting, expecting him to leap back up and attack. "That... that was Professor Ulrich... wasn't he?"

"That... was the cause of all the disappearances that had been happening at our school. Ulrich set his sights on our school and saw an all-you-can-eat buffet, and infiltrated it's walls as the new history professor. He seduced all those girls, called them out here, and devoured them. I would have acted sooner, but I needed to make sure I was luring out the right person."

"He... he's the one who...?" I begin to question before my head starts to swim so much I can hardly keep my focus. My body feels like it's on fire, and it's a flame that feels like it's in my lungs, spreading out towards everything else, consuming all. I double over in agony, clutching my sides. Everything is hot... everything hurts. Every movement feels like it sets my skin and muscles ablaze, and a throbbing pain soon comes after.

"She's hurt!" I hear Thalia gasp before I barely make out Hal forcing her way into my line of vision that's slowly growing darker and darker. I can barely feel her hands on my body, through the scorching agony, and I wish I could indulge in what is one of my many fantasies: just to feel her touch.

"Alena- Alena stay with me!" She shouts, and through the haze of pain I'm shocked she knows my name at all. "I need you to focus! I need you to tell me if he bit you!"

"He..." I rasp, the act of speaking almost too much to bear. "...Foot."

"Fuck!" She curses as she reaches down and takes off my shoe and my blood-soaked sock. I can see my foot clearly now, several deep, red gashes marring my flesh. "...It doesn't look like it's spread too much. You're not in that much danger of turning yet."

She's certainly speaking words, that's for sure, but I can hardly process enough thought to understand. It hurts to think at this point, so all I can do is lie there and watch her as she riffles through her pockets and pulls out... _is that a fucking EpiPen?_

"I've been saving this for myself for a while in case of an emergency. This shit's real hard to get a hold of- you'd better be grateful!" She says before forcing my pants down and jabbing the thing against my thigh. I feel the tiny pinprick through the pain, and almost instantly I start to feel relief. It starts at my legs and works it's way up my body, slowly bringing cool, comforting relief where I once felt nothing but pain. I can breath again and think again, and once my vision clears I can see Hal, hunched over me and looking down at me with a look that's half concern and half annoyance. She's so close... and honestly this angle is a lot better than looking up her skirt, I have decided.

"I love you." The words rush out of me in one, single burst, flying free from me the second I am able to draw a regular breath. And I'm regretting it just as fast, with my pants pulled down, probably looking like a hot mess, and my pants and underwear soaked with literal goddamn pee. I could have chose a more dignified moment, maybe after a shower and a change of clothes or maybe possibly never, actually. I don't think I'm ever going to regain my dignity ever, after this moment.

"Um..." Hal utters before a wheeze resonates right beside us. Thalia is beside me, her own fear giving way to quaking, wild laughter that grows with each passing second. She can't even come up with words to say, she just holds up her hand, like she's telling us to wait for her to regain composure, as she laughs and laughs and laughs.

This is how I admit my feelings to the girl I love: pants pulled down, after a near-death experience, to the sound of my best friend's manic laughter, covered in my own urine. Honestly, I think I deserve to be laughed at.

"Uh... you're welcome?" Hal finally says as Thalia continues to hoot and holler.

Honestly, I think I would rather have been eaten.

* * *

 

We had to tell the folks at the ER that it was a dog attack. When they took a look at my foot in an almost baffled way, we told them it was a _really_ big dog- which wasn't really a lie, exactly, Ulrich was pretty huge and dog-like. We kept up the lie the whole time, impressively, and Thalia was asleep for most of the time she could have accidentally blabbed, passed out in the waiting room looking like she needed to be admitted to the ER as well.

My parents are going to get the bill, and I'm going to have to keep up the lie that I was attacked by a dog. It's okay, though, I'd rather have to lie to them about a dog attack then for them to get a call from the police to tell them they found me disemboweled in an abandoned factory.

It's the truth that bothers me- the truth about Ulrich, the truth about Hal, and the truth I let slip- and did I mention I did so drenched in my own pee? I'm still reeling from it all when we return to the dorms, the sky starting to become died a soft shade of pink as the sun starts to rise. The world is slowly waking, and all I want to do is sleep for several days.

"We should be fine- everyone inside should still be asleep." Hal assures us as we make it to the front doors. "The two of you should head inside and get some rest, too."

"Hey, hold on, what the hell are we supposed to do now!?" Thalia cuts her off. "What do you expect us to do, now that we know about all this? If you want my silence, it's gonna come at a price- I'm thinking triple digits!"

"Thalia, please, don't shake her down, she saved your life." I sigh, feeling incredibly exhausted having to tell her that. Thalia's moral compass continues to amaze me.

"I'm thinking not- you're not going to tell anyone any of this because you're not going to remember." Hal says, hands on her hips.

"You really expect me to-"

"I drugged your drinks back at the hospital. I drugged everyone at school, in fact. No one is going to remember Ulrich, and you two especially aren't going to remember what happened tonight." Hal explains. "Even if you don't fall asleep, all of this is going to vanish by lunch. I bet you can already feel your memories getting fuzzy."

I think really hard to myself, but I can't tell if I'm really forgetting what happened tonight or if I'm just really, really tired.

"You sneaky little-!"

"Thalia, stop! Don't get into fights with the girl who saved your life." I sigh as I start to push her towards the entrance. She groans in defiance, but doesn't put up much resistance as the two of us start to head inside. "Maybe it's best we forget this whole mess..." I pause, feeling a bitterness build inside me, much to my surprise.

"Am I going to forget... everything?" I ask, feeling my heart start to ache.

"Everything." Hal responds with a nod.

"Even... what I said?" I ask her. "... I mean, I would have loved to have chosen a better way but... that is how I feel. I... I don't think I'll ever be able to summon up the courage to do that again, even when my pants _aren't_ soaked in pee."

"I'm sorry..." Hal says simply, only summoning up minimal words in response. She turns her gaze down to the ground and frowns. "I can't have you remember any of this... I can't risk it."

I look down at the ground and feel like I'm about to cry, all sorts of words catching in my throat and building up, creating a warm lump on my throat that refuses to be swallowed down.

"I'll give you two some privacy..." Thalia grumbles, pushing her way through the front doors. She sounds defeated and tired, and I wouldn't be surprised if, when I follow her back inside, she'd already have gone back to her dorm room. I honestly feel the same: like even though we survived, I still somehow lost in the end. I stare down at my bandaged foot, and I can feel my eyes beginning to sting.

"Then... let me say it again." I finally speak up, my words wavering like crazy. "Because I love you... I've loved you for so long, and I don't think I'm ever going to get the chance to tell you... Normal me is a coward, she only ever stares at you from afar- only ever steals glances. Only after facing down the fear of literal death was I finally able to tell you... I love you."

Hal remains unresponsive, looking down at her feet as well.

"...Honestly, I don't care if I forget, so long as you remember. The situation wasn't ideal, but these are my real feelings... I don't want you forgetting them, too."

"I won't... forget." She finally speaks up. But that's all she says, giving me nothing more and nothing less than her word. I, at least, want a hug, but I know I shouldn't expect one.

"...Thanks." I can only manage that much as I turn around and push my way through the front doors. Just like Hal had said, the nuns keeping watch are still sound asleep in the surveillance office. The whole dorm is still fast asleep, losing their memories as they dream. I wonder when I'll start to forget... I know, at least, I don't want to be awake to watch as the memories slip through my fingers like sand. I don't want to bare witness to the one time I ever had the courage enough to admit my feelings slip away, leaving me with a heartache I will never be able to explain.

I trudge up the stairs, back to my lonely dorm room, repeating the one, treasured memory again and again in my head. I want to keep it fresh for as long as I can. I want to hold on for as long as whatever Hal slipped me will allow. I don't care about the memories of sneaking out, or nearly getting eaten. All I care about are those words I finally was able to say. I play the memory over and over as I return to my room, strip off all my clothes and flop down into bed, my body feeling like it's being weighed down by cement bricks.

"I love you..." I say to the silence as tears finally flow from my eyes. At the very least, I'll forget all about this sadness and this pain eating away at my heart. "I love you... so much."

* * *

 

"I can't believe you two got attacked by a dog- why someone would let their mutt roam free to attack people is beyond me!" Sigarda gasps as the three of us talk in the hall. She's holding up my foot, looking at my bandage, and I'm struggling to keep from falling.

"I guess that's what we get, sneaking out last night so I could buy cigarettes." Thalia sighs, rubbing the back of her neck.

"You better have said sorry!" Sigarda scolded. "Honestly, it should have been you getting your foot bitten by a stray dog, sneaking out to go buy smokes. Alena shouldn't have been punished for your sins, you know."

"Well maybe you can punish me... after class?" Thalia asks, cheekily cocking an eyebrow, and Sigarda scoffs in response as her cheeks grow a rosy red.

"God, you're horrible."

"Yeah, and you love it."

While the two of them shamelessly flirt in front of me, my mind wanders. I stare down at my foot that Sigarda is still gently handling losing myself in thought.

_I still remember._

I'm not supposed to, or so I thought, but I still remember all of it. I remember sneaking out, but we had done so to tail Hal, and I remember getting attacked, but by Ulrich who turned out to be a terrifying werewolf, not by some random dog on the street. I still remember every bit of it, and it feels so awkward to play along as Thalia tells a very detailed, very fabricated story about a dog attack that, at least to her, might as well have really happened. I feel... detached, like I'm not really here, getting my foot cradled while Thalia and Sigarda make googly eyes at each other.

_I still remember. I still..._

" _Shoot_ , I just remembered, I forgot some homework back in my dorm room! If I forget it again, Sister Arlinn is going to bite my head off!" I exclaim, pulling away my foot and slipping it back inside my shoe.

"You'd better hurry up, passing period's almost over!" Sigarda tells me.

"I'd say the same thing to the two of you, if you want to make something of all that flirting!" I tease her as I speed off as quick as my aching foot will allow. I'm not going back for any homework, I'm pretty sure they even noticed I'm not even heading in the direction of the dorms. No, I'm looking for something else, something I didn't forget, actually- some _one_ I didn't forget. I push passed crowds of people, looking high and low for familiar long braid of hair and that familiar scent of roses. I want to know why I didn't forget. I want to know why I still remember everything!

"Hal!" I shout the second I spot her, catching a glimpse as I see her walking down the stairs. She looks up in surprise, looking up at me with an open mouth and wide eyes. Her name is all I can say aloued without giving anything away. All I can really do is give her a knowing look as a familiar, warm lump grows in my throat. I will not cry in front of all these people. I've already experienced enough humiliation these passed 24 hours, I will not cry!

"Come with me." Hal speaks up as she rushes up the stairs and takes my hand. She drags me through the halls and I willingly allow myself to be led, even after we exit the building and head off toward the garden that surrounds the chapel next to school. The roses planted there smell just like her perfume, and it's like I'm being completely surrounded by her scent. She pulls and pulls and pulls me until we reach the fountain- a popular spot for students to gather after school, but right now, in the middle of the school day, is deserted.

"Why do I still remember!?" I wind up asking, yanking my hand away and forcing her to stop. "You said I was going to forget... so why...?"

"... This world is full of a lot more magic than you realize. Below the surface, just outside your line of vision, there's a whole other world that everyone around you would rather you consider to be myth. And for everything that's beautiful and breathtaking... there are dangerous things that lurk there in the darkness, where you can't see. Creatures like Ulrich walk among you, posing an ever-present danger." Hal speaks, her words fluid and even, as if she's rehearsed this all beforehand. "And that's where people like me come in: hunters, who deal with these otherworldly beings. My job is dangerous... I prefer to work alone."

"But then why did you-"

"No one has ever told me they loved me before. Never... not once." Hal admits. "I... In my weakness, I as afraid to lose that. I was afraid... to lose you."

"M-me?" I stammer, pointing at myself in utter shock.

"The world where I live is a dangerous one... I don't want to put you in any danger you wouldn't subject yourself to, so I've brought you here to give you a choice." She says, holding out her hand. "Are you willing to live in my world, full of magic and myth, legend and horror? Are you willing to put that love to the test?"

I look down at her hand, thinking long and hard. I remember the terror I felt, running from Ulrich, and the pain I felt when I feared I was slowly being poisoned. I remember the ache in my heart, so overwhelming I feared I'd never be able to leave my bed, as I considered I would never be able to remember I told Hal that I loved her.

I take my chances. I reach into the unknown and I take that hand.

"I think you already know my answer- I told you several times already." I say with a smile. "I love you, Hal."


	5. Moving In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After years of being in a long distance relationship, Jace and Gideon finally move in together, and close the long-standing distance between the two of them.

Jace Beleren watched as cars slowly crept by through the airport pick up, adjusting the scarf he had just forked over thirty entire dollars for from a vendor inside before wrapping his arms around himself. From where he had come from, the weather had been bearably mild, only really requiring he wear a light jacket from among what little clothes he had brought along that he already hadn't shipped off in boxes. But now, as he faced down a blizzard that seemed to be growing harsher by the minute, he regretted not thinking ahead and keeping one of his heavier coats unpacked.

The only thing keeping him warm and keeping him from retreating back into the warmth of the airport lobby was the excitement and nerves building in his gut. He never thought that day would come, even after him and his boyfriend of several years and long, long distance had planned it. He always thought they would only ever see each other in short spurts on holidays, or through a web-cam. He always thought their encounters would be brief, as well as few and far between. He always thought the majority of their affection would be shared over text message and email. But Jace had the tendency to be wrong every once in a while, at least.

It had been something they had discussed on a weekend they were able to meet up- a short couple of days where their schedules had finally opened up- when they had started discussing the possibility of moving in together. It almost felt like they were discussing fairy tales at the time, but the more they talked about it, the more it went from dreamy "what ifs" to talking actual logistics and who would move in with who, who would be able to get transferred across the country and who would be paying for what. It had been a blur of numbers and papers, boxes and the occasional break-down, but now he was there: in the city that his boyfriend, Gideon Jura, lived.

A big, burly guy like Gideon would live in a place that got this amount of snow, Jace thought to himself as he looked down the crowded lanes packed with cars. Impatiently, he checked his phone, noting he'd been waiting for a good ten minutes when Gideon's ETA had been only a few. Minutes felt like hours to Jace, and the plane ride had felt like days. The waiting, he was certain, was going to kill him, if the cold didn't get to him first.

"Jace!" A loud, booming voice suddenly called his name, drawing his attention to a car narrowly pulling in front of the flow of traffic, earning honks and shouts as it pulled up to the curb. Jace restrained as goofy a smile as his lips wanted to make as he caught sight of Gideon practically leaning his entire upper body out the driver's side window as he pulled up along side him. Jace wasn't sure what to do- should he wave? Should he also shout Gideon's name? Should he hurry to the car and hop inside to escape the horrible, snowy cold? He kept his feet planted in the snow as he struggled with how he should greet the man he loved. Things were the same, as they always were, but today they were also hugely different, and it left him struggling to decide if he should treat this meeting differently as well.

"You made it!" Gideon called out as he practically leaped out of his car once he parked it, slipping and sliding in the slush around the tires to come and meet him. "I was afraid they were going to delay your flight because of all this snow."

"It's a good thing they didn't- you know how impatient I am." Jace spoke jokingly as Gideon joined him on the sidewalk. The two of them stood there, hardly even an arm's distance apart, smiling at each other silently through the haze of falling snow. Jace chuckled nervously as he looked up at Gideon's smile- a grin warm enough to chase away the cold that had begun to settle into his bones.

"I... I like the scarf. It suits you." Gideon mentioned.

"O-oh, yeah, thanks. I just bought it- honestly, I had to choose buying this over lunch, so maybe could we-" Jace was cut off as Gideon threw his arms around him, wrapping him in a powerful hug and easily picking him up off the ground. He snuggled his face against his neck, and Jace squirmed as he felt the other man's stubble against his skin.

"I'm so glad you're here." He said softly- an intimate tine that was honeslty surprising to hear from the man who normally shouted eveeything he said, like some sort of story-book giant. Jace felt his face grow warm, Gideon's gentle words full of emotion causing him to blush. The man who put twice as much energy into even the simplest things, who was probably made up of at least 75% protein shake and had a disposition that was as bright, warm and powerful as the sun was the person Jace liked. But the arms that embraced him warmly and the voice that made him feel like he was the most important person on the planet belonged to the man he fell in love with.

"I-Im glad to be here, too." Jace agreed, returning Gideon's embrace, hardly being able to loop his hands around his bulky form enough to touch his fingers together. "I'm just glad it's over."

"What are you talking about, you goof?" Gideon chuckled as he reached up to ruffle Jace's already messy hair. "Things are just getting started."

* * *

 

After a long drive through the snow, enduring traffic that left them inching almost the entire way, they finally arrived at Gideon's apartment... or rather _their_ apartment. It was a place that they shared now, Jace reminded himself as he walked through the front door. This place he only ever visited for days at a time was his home now, where he would return again and again. It filled him with an energy that he was soon very glad to have when they rounded the corner to find all of his un-packed boxes waiting for them in the living room. Even after Jace had gone through and got rid of things he didn't need, he still had an impressive amount of junk to sort through and integrate with all of Gideon's things.

"I figured it would be better if we un-packed together." Gideon explained. "I haven't touched a thing since I brought them inside."

"It's gonna take us a while- I hope that's okay." Jace said as he started looking through the boxes, making sure none of them had sustained any major damage in transit.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that." Gideon assured him cryptically, but before Jace got a chance to ask, a knock came from the front door, followed by someone yelling on the other side. Jace went rigid with alarm, but Gideon looked over his shoulder towards the door, completely relaxed as someone called out,

"Gideon! Let us in to finally met your cute little boyfriend!"

"Who-?" Jace began to ask, throwing an unsure look in the direction of the entrance.

"I promise, they don't bite... much." Gideon chuckled, pinching his fingers together as he added, "maybe a little nibble here and there."

"Gideon, oh my god."

"They're my friends, Jace, I can vouch for them- they're completely friendly. They don't have much of a sense of space, and you can already guess they're on the loud side, but I promise they're a fine group of people." Gideon assured him as he went to go open the door, Jace cautiously falling behind. He chose to lurk at the corner, instead of joining Gideon in the small entryway as he opened the door and let in a fresh stream of cold air.

"What's that about us being loud!?" The group of Gideon's friends crowded the doorway, a small girl who made Gideon seem much more of a giant than he already was heading the pack. She had eye-catching red hair that curled near her shoulders and a spattering of freckles across her cheeks and over her nose. She held herself with an incredible amount of attitude for someone so small, hands on her hips as she looked up at Gideon with a wide, almost mischievous smirk.

"Just giving Jace some fair warning, that's all." Gideon laughed as he shuffled out of the way, letting his friends into the apartment.

"Well warning time is over, the danger has arrived!" The girl laughed, tailed by a girl who was a head taller and much more reserved, both in how she looked and how she acted. She had long, brown hair pulled back and tied into a braid, and greeted Gideon with a kind smile as she held up a couple boxes of pizza like they were a peace offering.

"We figured we would get a little hungry, so we picked up some pizza." She explained, her voice flowing from her lips like water from a stream. Pausing she turned to the third and final member come to join them still lingering in the doorway. "...Ajani was on the same wavelength, it seems- he also brought pizza."

"Hope your boyfriend likes pineapple!" The final member of the motley group laughed as he entered, his own boxes of pizza in tow. He was a man who was just as broad and tall as Gideon, muscle built upon even more muscle. He had rich, dark skin and a full head of thick hair that flared out from his head in all directions. Jace also couldn't help but notice that one of his eyes was sliced through by a visible, pink scar that forced him to keep it closed, and he hoped to himself he would be caught staring as he got caught up in wondering if it hurt.

"Speaking of boyfriend, where is the lover boy?" The red-headed girl asked, looking around only for a short moment before she spotted Jace- and in that moment, Jace felt he could truely sympathize with prey animals.

"H-hi!" Jace squeaked, raising a hand quickly in greeting before awkwardly letting it hang back down at his side.

"Guys, this is Jace- _play nice_." Gideon introduced.

"So you're the guy Gideon's always rushing off to go see on his days off." The girl said with a smile as the three of them joined him in the living room. "I'm Chandra Nalaar, I've been Gideon's friend since _forever,_ so if you ever want any dirt on the guy, I'm your girl."

"I wouldn't take anything she says at face value, though, she exaggerates everything." Gideon added teasingly.

"You're just scared I'm going to tell him about your embarrassing dating history from high school." Chandra snorted, rolling her eyes.

"I'm Nissa Revane- I'm Chandra's girlfriend." The other girl spoke up, a surprising amount of pride in her voice as she added the one fact about herself. She smiled, keeping her introduction short and sweet. Her presence alone was calming in the growing sea of chaos, and it left Jace feeling at ease even though Chandra looked like she was about to eat him alive.

"And I'm Ajani Goldmane, me and Gideon work at the same place." The final member of Gideon's group of friends said, giving off the same sort of friendly, warm energy Gideon tended to exude, if not a little softer. "And before you ask- because I know you really want to- the eye was from a car accident. It was ages ago, we pretty much laugh about it now."

"Oh, I wasn't-" Jace started a very obvious lie before Chandra reached out and grabbed his arm, holding it in her hand and squeezing at his flesh beneath his jacket. "Um... can I help you?"

"Holy shit, Nissa, come feel this boy's arms!" Chandra gasped, ignoring him completely. Before Jace knew it, both girls were holding up his arms, as if he were a puppet, and Jace threw a look in Gideon's direction like he was already very, very weary. Gideon, on the other hand, could do nothing but grin apologetically and shrug.

"Oh my, he's so... _skinny_." Nissa remarked bluntly.

"Twig-like! Tiny!" Chandra added, turning to Gideon with a gasp that sounded only half sarcastic. "Gideon's going to break him for sure!"

"Whoa, hey!" Jace gawked at her, finally pulling his arms away. "What Gideon does to me is honestly none of your business."

"We're just looking out for you." Nissa laughed, a bit of the girl she was the girlfriend of showing through as she giggled.

"Yeah, this guy just needs some gains! Then he'll be able to take whatever Gideon throws at him!" Chandra smirked.

"Okay, enough already- and for the record, I'm a lot more gentle than you think." Gideon sighed. "Aren't I, Jace?"

"Gideon, _oh my god_!" Jace gasped before shrugging his shoulders in defeat and laughing. There was something about the whole onslaught that, through his annoyance, was welcoming and warm. It made Jace feel like less of a stranger in a group of people he knew almost nothing about. It came with a bit of light teasing, but it really started to feel like he was being welcomed into the fold.

"Well, those boxes aren't going to unpack themselves. Let's get down to business before we go any deeper into Gideon and Jace's private life." Ajani joked. "...And when I say get down to business, I mean eat this pizza- I'm _starving_ , and I haven't eaten since breakfast!"

"Fattening up in preparation for your hibernation, I see." Chandra joked, pulling away from Jace to go and let herself into Gideon's kitchen, riffling through his cupboards and pulling out a stack of plates.

"Trust me, if I could sleep through this long, cold winter, I would very well gladly." Ajani groaned, joining her and Nissa in the kitchen.

"So, what do you think?" Gideon asked quietly as he sidled up next to Jace. "Not too much of a rowdy bunch, I hope."

"Hmm..." Jace hummed playfully, folding his arms. "No, they're just the right amount of rowdy. They can stay."

"What, like we were planning on throwing them out?" Gideon chuckled.

"It's my place, too, isn't it? I should have a say." Jace joked before shaking his head. "They're fine, Gideon, you have a fine collection of friends."

"Hey, now, they're your friends now, too." Gideon said with a smile, taking Jace's hand. "Whats mine is yours now, remember?"

"Hey, you two, hurry up and get in here and get some of this pie before Ajani eats it all!" Chandra called from the table the three of them were sitting at. "You can flirt some other time!"

"Yeah..." Jace smiled, a soothing feeling blooming in his chest now, in spite of all the chaos. "That sounds about right."

* * *

 

Jace lay down in bed, staring up at the ceiling of Gideon's bedroom, looking up at the patterns up above he only used to barely recognize, knowing full well he'd be getting plenty of time now to memorize them. He had plenty of time to memorize a lot of things- the smell of Gideon's sheets, the sound of building around them gently settling, the feeling of Gideon's arms wrapped around him... he couldn't wait to memorize that most of all. He heaved a sigh that was a mixture of contentment and exhaustion, relaxing against the mattress.

"Sorry- in the end, we didn't really do that much unpacking." Gideon apologized as he joined him in the bedroom, flicking the lights off and drowning the room in darkness with a soft click. "I promise, we'll be able to get a lot more work done with a lot less distractions tomorrow."

"Hey, now, that's not a nice thing to call your friends." Jace teased. " _Our_ friends, I mean. Our friends." He couldn't say those words without smiling, no matter how hard he tried. He didn't mind at all that a lot of his things were still in boxes. The most important things- some clothes and more importantly his winter coat- were unpacked, and he didn't feel there was a rush to drag out all of his other belongings. He was just as happy to listen to Chandra drag Gideon with story after embarrassing story she swore were true and Gideon insisted were all just very, very tall tales. He was just as content listening to Nissa explain how to get to different locations in the neighborhood. He was just as pleased to be exposed to all the different types of music Ajani had on hand on his phone, and to be invited to more concerts than he could probably afford. They hadn't gotten much work done, all of them gabbing and eating and laughing, but Jace didn't mind one bit.

"Well it would be nice if _our friends_ helped out a little bit more." Gideon sighed as he joined Jace on the bed, the mattress creaking beneath him as he crawled over to Jace's side and flopped down, face first, into his pillow. "Chandra could have lived to save a few of her silly stories for another day, that's for sure."

"Hey, I honestly liked hearing about all that stuff. I mean, sure, they weren't your most dignified moments, but... it's nice, getting to learn things about you that I never got the chance to. It makes me feel closer to you, knowing all these things that happened before we met- no matter how silly." Jace laughed. "Getting to know all your friends, and listening to the things they had to say about you... it helps me feel closer to you. Before you were always so far away, but now we finally have the chance to get as close as we want."

He reached out, not having to reach very far before he rested his hand on top of Gideon's, who rolled over so that he could look over at Jace from his pillow. He drew his hand close, pulling Jace's along with it, until he was able to press a gentle, loving kiss against his knuckles. Passed Gideon's scratchy stubble, his lips were soft and warm like the rest of him.

"It feels so weird, I half expect you to only be here for a few days. I keep having to stop myself from trying to cram everything I want to do into a short amount of time... it feels so weird that we finally have time to pace ourselves." Gideon laughed. "I can hold you as much as I want now... and kiss you as much as I want. I love it, but it's so bizarre."

"You're telling me." Jace laughed. "You're going to have to keep reminding me I live here, or else I might accidentally try flying back to my old place out of habit." The two of them laughed softly, chuckles dissolving into tired sighs as they stared back at one another, practically face to face. Finally, the distance the two of them had grown so accustomed to was nearly gone.

"So... about that whole 'kissing as much as you want' business..." Jace mentioned, shyly looking to the side, breaking their eye contact. "You think... we can start that now? I mean, you know, since we have the time and all."

"God, Jace, I love you." Gideon laughed before drawing closer, muscle-bound arms wrapping around his lover and pulling him close.

"I love you, too, Gideon." Jace whispered as their lips finally closed the last distance they had between the two of them.


	6. Embrace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regna reflects upon the first time she ever met Krav, and how their relationship came to be.

_An angel is an overseer- a protector, and guiding light to all those under her watchful eye. An angel shall want nothing more than peace. An angel shall not want selfishly. An angel shall desire nothing more than to be a shepherd of her flock._

These were the first things I was taught once my light was formed and willed into being by the desires of the people of Kylem. For years and years, as I performed my duties as nothing but a staunch protector driven nothing more than to seek justice and prolong peace, I believed these words to be the only truth I needed. I climbed the ranks among my fold, respected as Regna, the redeemer. Ours was a very important calling, living among the tallest spires of Cloudspire City, watching over our flock as well as placing our blessing upon the grand competitions held within Valor's Reach. Those who dueled there would sometimes do so in our name, and to oversee a match ourselves would bring crowds enough to clog up entire streets outside the stadium. It was there I had been called to serve, and it was there that I experienced my very first, selfish desire, after years of selfless service.

I longed for the thrill of combat- to put on a performance that would wow crowds and shame my enemies. I wished to trade blows with a worthy opponent, to feel the rush of locking blades and locking eyes. I brought up my desires in the form of an innocent question to my superiors when my desire to be among those who battled for fame and for glory within Valor's Reach began, asking why it was an angel had never been seen competing. What I was given in return hardly satisfied me, or quelled my desire in any way. Hearing them practically repeat back the first lesson an angel learns, parroting those words that once drove me along but then started to feel like they were holding me down, filled me with frustration.

An angel is an overseer- a protector. She isn't a fighter, or someone who seeks to overpower and defeat another solely for the reason of sport. The only times I was able to draw my blade, fashioned from pure light and prayer, were against demons, and even they know not to stand against beings as powerful as angels. I hardly saw battle, and instead was met with bowed heads as I listened to endless apologies time and again. And the times I did, well, combat never lasted very long. Nobody could stand against me- nobody could sate my desire (and dare I say lust) for combat.

And if that desire was temptation come to drag me from my lofty post, then it was _him_ who caused me to fall.

It was the eve before a very important series of games within Valor's Reach- only the most well-known and talented fighters would attend and fight for the amusement of the cheering crowd. It was an annual event, and Cloudspire City was alight and awake in excitement. There would be no novices, no up-and-comers, no matches where the outcome was clear- it was the best of the best come to put their skills to the utmost test, and we were watching from our lofty spire vigilantly. I personally kept an eye on the combatants extra close, explaining it away as me simply performing my duities when in reality, I was just as excited as the people of the city below who were holding wild, gleeful parties that would last all the night.

I wished so much to be among them- to be where the combatants were, as guests of honor at parties all over the city. Sylvia Brightspear attended a grand feast along with her dragon companion, Khorvath. Pir, a human combatant who summoned his own combat partner through the power of thought, some say, performed such feats before a cheering crowd. Will and Rowan Kenrith, twins of both amazing fighting ability and mysterious origins, presided over a party held by the the most notable socialite elves in the city. And I... watched. I took it all in, practically drooling from envy as I tried to vicariously live through all of them, where I could not be- where I _longed_ to be.

Our watch, however, that night was interrupted by a frantic cry and a horrible rush of concern that burst through the entire roost. Yofie, an angel I had been very close to- a mentor, of sorts- returned to us from her sweep around the perimeter of the city in a state so horrific it gave me and everyone else an incredible amount of pause. She was battered and bruised, with one of her four magnificent wings for which she was known ripped completely off. Her tears broke my heart and at the same time threw me into a rage. Who could have done such a thing- and to an angel, no less!? Who had the gall to lay their hands upon an angel, to touch her precious, heavenly wings and defile her!?

"Who did this?" I asked her, poison dripping from every word as I attended to her wounds. "Who dared do this to you!?" I was furious enough that I couldn't see straight as I ground my teeth together in a snarl. Our fellow angels backed away, daring not to get close for fear my anger would burn them.

"Calm yourself Regna... you mustn't act in anger, or act to seek revenge..." Yofie muttered, her words full of agony despite the fact she was attempting to calm my fury. Even in her battered state, down a wing and her pride as an angel- a protector of the people- tarnished, she spoke to me the same code. The same, typical response was given in the more dire of times, and it only added frustration to my anger. "A demon has come to Cloudspire City- a monster by the name of Krav."

A murmur swept through the roost. We knew the name well, even if we had yet to face the demon of whom she spoke. Angels from other roosts had brought word to us of him: Krav, a powerful, terrifying demon who could battle for days against our forces, and had left incredible damage in his wake. The festivities and the chance to throw the city into utter chaos was what probably drew him to us

"It was foolish of me to not expect such activity would lure him here... I was a fool to try and take him on alone." Yofie spoke in a melancholic tone that broke my heart as she bowed her head, the once grand angel completely humbled by a brute. I remember feeling my blood boil as I longed to bring the creature who dared stand up to a holy being low- lower than dirt, lower than bedrock. No angel code was going to douse my fiery anger, no words from an angel whose blood spilled upon the floors of our holy roost was going to change my mind.

"I'll make him pay for what he's done!" I snapped, a jolt of shock echoing through the roost as my fellow angels looked among another in concern in response to my outburst. It wasn't like an angel to get so upset, to desire revenge like I had. It was wrong as it was strange- but not to me, a angel who had longed for things other than to perform her holy duties for some time then. To me, my rage felt justified and understandable- natural, even.

"Regna, we must plan accordingly and see to it that Krav is kept from sewing chaos in our city. Now isn't the time to-"

"It is most certainly the time!" I shouted, my voice like thunder. I'm certain that's how it was perceived by the people in the city below us. "I will not be calm and I will not wait! Organize yourselves all you want while I deal with this monster myself!"

There were words of protest, but I hardly heard them as I spread my wings and took off from our roost, fuming and itching to do battle with the fiend who no doubt was using Yofie's wing as a trophy. I'd take his horns as payment- or his hands, or his head! I thought these things, not knowing at the time that I would succeed in taking something from him, but it would be that same sort of thing he would soon take from _me_ as well.

He was easy for me to find, a dark, foreboding presence among the overwhelming joy and excitement radiating from the city. He wasn't trying to hide from us, it was more like he was hoping we would come. Yofie was only bait, and he used it to snare me and reel me in.

Krav is a mighty demon several times my size with four horns that curl behind his head to match my four wings. His skin is the color of stones, left without sunlight at the bottom of a lake and his eyes are a fierce, piercing red. He held a sword that dwarfed me but could easily be held in his massive hand when I arrived to meet him just outside the walls of the city, it's blade still dripping with Yofie's blood. As I landed before him, a storm of ruffled feathers and rage, he looked at me in surprise, his crimson eyes regarding me with something close to shock.

He'd cast Yofie out like a net, but all he'd managed to catch was a single, furious angel.

"Is Cloudspire City so badly off that all they can spare are single, little angels to fight me?" He asked, surprise slowly turning into a smirk, as he slashed his blade through the empty air between us. The rush was enough to blow my hair back, like a foul rush of wind. "Your precious city is in danger and yet you and that whelp are all they are willing to spare?"

"There's no need to bring the entire host into your mess- I alone am more than enough to handle the likes of you!" I snarled. "I'm going to rip off one of your damned arms to pay you back for what you did to Yofie!"

"So that was that little insects name, hmm?" Krav asked with an worry-free tilt of his head. "And what does a little firefly like you call herself? You're impressive amount of anger interests me enough to want to know."

"My name is Regna, I'm known as the redeemer in this city- but the likes of you have fallen too far to be redeemable!" I growled, reaching inside my very being to pull forth my luminous blade that glowed bright with my anger. "Prepare yourself- I've been itching for a decent fight!"

"Let's just hope you can put up a better fight than your friend." Krav chuckled. "Although I must admit, one of your pretty little wings will compliment the other I have from her in my collection."

With a furious bellow I lunged at him, and our battle quickly began. It was quickly evident how evenly matched we were, trading blow after furious blow with ease. His large, sweeping attacks were easy to catch and my blade was mighty enough from my rage to block even the strongest of his blows, but he was skilled enough in handling angels like myself to predict my own attacks and stop me from landing any vital blows. Our battle lasted hours, neither of us relenting, as night gave way to day. Not a single member of my host had come to my aid, but Krav also stood alone against me.

We locked blades and locked eyes many, many times, holding the others furious glare as the battle raged on. I felt like I was learning about the demon who, at the time, was my enemy more than I knew about some of the angels I served alongside. His muscles were etched in my memory, the strength of his flows clearly felt in my hands, even when he wasn't on the offensive. In the heat of battle, a stray thought invaded my memory, leaving me wondering if this sort of battle would leave a crowd cheering our names. It had become almost like a play with many, many acts but no intermission.

It was when the sun above started sinking down below the horizon, dying our battleground now left impressively wasted in a deep red that mimicked Krav's eyes. The both of us staggered back, struggling to catch our breath and hold the other's intense stare. Krav now used his weapon like a crutch to keep himself up, clutching at the hilt to keep from slipping, and my own blade was losing it's luster, fading in the glare of the setting sun. My hair stuck to my face that was slick with sweat and my hands ached from trading blow after blow. If my hands had the ability to grow blisters, they would have been covered in them.

With wavering eyes we stared the other down, sizing the other up and realizing, possibly at the same second, that we had both reached out limit. If we were to force the battle to go on for any longer, either or both of us would end up meeting an unfitting, clumsy and possibly even accidental end. It would have been a shame for either of our lights to be extinguished in such a foolish, unfitting way. At that point, both of us really only had energy enough to retreat and lick our wounds clean.

I looked back at him one last time, and I remember the complex feelings that filled my entire being in that single moment. It was like being knocked over by a wave, surprised and vulnerable as I felt like I was tumbling out of control. His gaze was intense, with a glow that put the setting sun to shame. I still wonder, to this day, if he felt the same complex emotions, and wonder how my exhausted glare compared.

With a flap of my wings and an exhausted grunt, I lifted myself into the air, tearing the look in his eyes from my view as I retreated into the sky. He didn't pursue me, and I didn't look back- not physically, anyway. In my mind I deeply reflected on our battle, replaying it again and again in my mind until I found refuge in the grand, expansive gardens that surrounded Valor's Reach. I stumbled forward as I landed and nearly crashed ungracefully to the ground. Catching myself against the trunk of a tree I managed to at least steady myself before I slowly fell to my knees.

My energy was gone, leaving me panting and struggling to stay conscious. Never in all my years of existence had someone pushed me to such a brink. No being had ever left me so breathless, or challenged my skills in such a way as Krav had. He had matched me blow for blow until the end, turning our fierce battle into something like a dance, the clashing of our weapons acting as beat of the music we followed.

And yet, as I clutched the bark of the tree, struggling to stay upright, I didn't feel as if he had made me into some sort of fool. I didn't feel loss or humiliation over the fact that Krav had tested me so harshly. There wasn't a sense of failure in my aching hands, tired legs and mind that rushed like a raging river. Sitting there with my wings curled around me, resting against the soft grass, I felt almost... content, I'd say. I felt fulfilled in a way I thought I never would. I had finally been given a taste of battle- a real, intense combat- and it was sweet, and threatened to be almost addictive.

My breath caught as I thought back to Krav, realizing my overpowering feeling of rage had left me. I wanted, at the time, to put it off simply as me being so completely exhausted I didn't even have the energy to feel anger. I wanted to feel what had, at first, come so naturally when faced against a demon, a literal antithesis to an angel like myself. Even in my weakened state I should have despised him for what he was and for what he did... but all I could feel, in that moment, was an odd feeling of satisfaction. Krav had given me the battle I had longed for when I should have been desiring only peace. Krav had proven himself to almost be my perfect equal on the battlefield.

I could hear the wild cheers from the nearby stadium, no doubt from an impressive, exciting battle going underway. Had I not gone to fight Krav myself, I would have been back up at the roost, watching the event myself with longing in my heart. But as I was then, collapsing beneath the tree, listening to the throngs of people yelling and screaming in excitement, I felt content. My thoughts, that were usually so focused on Valor's Reach and those who sought glory within, were filled with Krav. Even as I came to rest, I couldn't help but notice that my heart was still pounding away inside my chest.

* * *

 

It was a whole day before I made a full recovery, the high spirits of the people of Cloudspire City making for good medicine. The sounds of cheering still swelled inside me as I returned to where Krav and I had last traded blows, the area around left completely in ruin- rocks turned to rubble and old growth turned to mulch. I shuddered to think what would have happened if our battle had taken place in a town nearby, or even worse the city, as I waited. I basked in the silence, a fire that was alight in my soul taking the form of my trusty blade once again. The pale moonlight acted as a spotlight that lit the place that had been our battleground.

This time, it would be Krav who sought me out.

"So you really were foolish enough to return." He spoke as he stepped out of the shadows that cloaked him.

"I should say the same to you." I retorted without a second thought, a frown tugging at my lips- hardly a snarl like the one I wore the last time we came face to face. And, just as well, the energy between us was just as different, an obscure intensity filling the air. It left me feeling almost excited, but I dared not let it show.

"There won't be a third time, I assure you." Krav threatened. "I'm not going to give you another chance to run away. I'm not going to let you off with just a single, plucked wing, either. By the time I'm finished with you, you won't have the ability to return to where the rest of your smug host of pigeons roosts."

At the time, neither of us hardly had any idea of just how right he actually was.

The flame of battle reignited, we returned to our fight as combat quickly grew much more intense than before. We both struck to kill, as if each blow would be our last, sustaining tiny injuries in the process we would have normally been able to avoid. My blade marred his shoulder, his weapon sliced open my cheek. I chipped his horns and he claimed some of my feathers. Small, pinpricks of pain and the scent of blood seemed to give me a rush that I quickly became drunk on. Once again, he was giving me a fight my soul itself longed for.

Things, for better or for worse, however, came to an abrupt end. Our desire to strike hard and strike fast and not pay the smaller things any mind led to a critical slip-up on Krav's part. I managed to land an attack as his back was turned- which turned into another, and then another, eventually leaving him toppling over and lying prone below me. Before he could rise back up and continue our battle my blade was at his throat, a quick swipe away from slicing it open and ending it all. Just one, simple trust, and it would all be over. Just... one...

"What's the matter, weren't you keen on killing me only a second ago?" Krav asked with a growl. "What's the matter? Don't like the sight of blood, little angel?"

"I..." My words dried up in my mouth, becoming nothing but air. I knew it was my duty, as an angel, to see to it that Krav be eliminated. I had been so furious before, so sure of myself when we first met, that I'd be able to do something as simple as kill a demon. However, something that was echoing deep inside my heart stopped me then, and left me feeling almost disappointed that our fight was about to be over. The one person who could fulfill my desires for combat... did I really have the strength to eliminate such a person? Such thoughts baffled me, leaving me standing over Krav with nothing to say and no will to act.

"Foolish little insect." Krav snarled beneath me, grabbing my leg and turning the tables as he threw me to the ground. The wind was knocked out of me in such an incredible way, I forgot how to even breath as he stabbed the blade of his sword into the ground right beside my head, slicing through a good strand of my hair and narrowly missing cutting right into my flesh. Shock mixed with confusion, it was my turn to stare up at Krav, who tightly held his weapon in his hands. For a split second, I was ready to accept death, but no second blow came. My opponent gave me nothing but an intense stare, as if he were fighting against something else other than me.

"You..." I wheezed as air finally returned to my lungs. "You're hesitating."

"As were you." Krav snapped, though not as sharp as before. "An angel hesitating to kill a demon... what sort of nonsense..."

"Look whose talking." I groaned. Strange were the feelings that swelled in my heart and flowed through my body as I looked up at him, arms and legs losing the will to fight. I felt drained, but not like the day before after our battle. I felt drained of my hatred, drained of my desire to raise my blade against him. I struggled and struggled against the current, but I couldn't escape. "... What are we doing?"

A weak, defeated chuckle escaped me as I asked. Krav gave me a compromised glare as his grip on his weapon loosened before falling away completely as he took a large step backward.

"You can't kill me... and, dammit, I can't bring myself to kill you either..." He muttered as I righted myself, struggling my way back to my feet.

"I don't... understand it myself..." I began, resting my hands over my heart that was pounding against my ribs. "Or... perhaps I simply am afraid to. Fighting you... how do I put this... it was the first time I felt like something I've wanted for so long was being fulfilled. For the first time since my creation I feel..."

The entire time as I spoke, I had been looking down at my feet, feeling uneasy about looking Krav in the eyes. While we fought I'd faced him head on, so sure and certain. But then, as I fumbled for my words, I couldn't lift my gaze from off the ground- that is, until I felt something brush against my cheek that pulled me from my swimming thoughts. Krav had reached out, looking just as unsure about things as I felt, the tips of his fingers gracing my skin in a fashion that could only be described as being gingerly.

"...Like I've found something I was missing." He spoke up, finishing my sentence as if he somehow bored into my mind and read my very thoughts. Those words stole my breath, leaving my mouth hanging open in shock as I gently flapped my wings and lifted myself off the ground. Krav's hand followed my ascent upwards, cupped around me but not quite daring to touch as we came face to face. Without really thinking about it much myself, I reached out and rested my hand against his, unintentionally pulling it closer so that his fingers brushed against my face again.

"I... I don't quite understand... for so long I've looked down at Valor's Reach, and I've longed for what I saw down there for so long. The thrill of combat... the rush of it..." I muttered. "I'm not supposed to want this... I'm not supposed to want any of this... I..." My words caught in my throat as I felt my face grow warm, and there's no doubt in my mind that Krav felt my temperature rise against his hand. "I-I'm not supposed to want..."

"You." Again, he finished my sentence as I looked back at him with a gasp. My lip quivered as I tried to find the words to say, and Krav looked back at me with the same struggling glance.

"You're... making a mistake. You realize what you're saying, don't you?" He asked me. "I don't have anything to lose but you... you won't have a place to return to if you foolishly go through with this. You should strike me down right now, if you know what's good for you."

"No!" I snapped, feeling surprise a second later from my own outburst. Krav looked back at me, his eyes wide with the same sort of surprise. "I've finally gotten what I've wanted for so long, and it was from you, not from sitting up there in my tower, always watching and never being aloud to want anything else for myself. Everything I've ever known has conditioned me to want the opposite of this... of all of this! If you'd rather I kill you and go back to where I'll never feel this sort of way again, you can cut me down right now!"

Words flowed from me like an unstoppable flood as my vision grew cloudy. Feelings that were still new and unfamiliar to me drew everything out of me that had become second nature to hold back. I didn't want to return to the roost, I didn't want to return to the host of angels who didn't understand a bit of how I felt. Going back there after experiencing the rush and the thrill I had always wanted would be slow, endless torture.

"Go on then, kill me! I'm a failure of an angel anyway, so just do it!" I squeezed my eyes shut as I begged for what I feared the most. An angel is an eternal being, so long as there are people who turn to her with their hopes and prayers. To even consider the potential of an end is unfathomable and terrifying.

Much to my surprise, I felt Krav grab hold of me, and at first I was so sure he was going to give in to my request. I kept my eyes shut tight until, instead of the agony of a killing blow, I felt the warmth of an embrace. My eyes shot open as I stared up at him, trying to make sense of it all. My emotions were still completely unsettled, like sand disturbed by rough, choppy waves. I searched for something solid as I searched Krav's face, trying to read his expression.

"You're... an odd insect, you know that?" He asked, and much to my surprise I laughed. I'm not sure why, maybe it was the wild nature of it all finally getting to me. It was such a ridiculous scenario we had found ourselves in... but Krav's embrace was surprisingly warm.

"And you're an odd monster."

* * *

 

It's been a year since then- a long, long year of learning to live a new life on the surface instead of dwelling high above it. A long year of learning to live for myself, and to not feel guilty for wanting things for myself. A long year of being with Krav.

I can never return to live with the rest of the host of angels who still, to this day, watch over Cloudspire City. In the beginning, I expected them to punish me for the choice I had made, but I've hardly seen a head or feather of them. Perhaps they've simply given up on me- perhaps they gave up a long time ago. Or maybe, they can't, in good conscience, come to punish me for giving my heart to a demon. In my own way, I did stop him from wreaking havoc. In the end, I had done my job. I like to think that's the real reason, anyway.

Now, instead of watching over and giving my blessing to the combatants within Valor's Reach, I find myself among them, living the life I always thought would be out of reach before now. I hear my name mentioned in the same sentences as legends of the arena. I hear crowds chant my name now- mine and Krav's, anyway, as we fight together as one. Every passing day I experience things that had once been nothing but dreams that I kept private for years. And every passing day, I fall deeper and deeper in love with it all: With Valor's Reach, with the notoriety, and especially with Krav.

"My love." I'm roused from my thoughts by Krav as I'm brought back to the present, out of my musings. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, I- I'm fine. Just feeling a little nostalgic, that's all. It has been a year, after all." I say with an assuring smile.

"Has it? Honestly, it feels like it's been much longer to me." He admits before we hear the sound of cheering begin to grow louder just beyond the closed gates that are due to open up at any moment to welcome us into the arena of Valor's Reach. It still feels unreal to me, that we've been invited to participate in such a momentous event, to fight among so many notable combatants that I used to only watch from afar. I wonder if I'll catch a glimpse of an old, familiar face, watching over the games and giving us their blessing. I also wonder if they'd even be able to look me in the eyes.

"It's felt like an eternity." I agree with a shake of my head. "A long, wonderful eternity."

The gates before us open, bathing us both in light as the clear sound of cheering washes over us.

"Looks like it's time." Krav remarks. "Let's get out there and show them all the light."


	7. Teaching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meant to take place between the events of Eldritch Moon and Kaladesh. Nissa is having trouble adjusting to life on Ravnica, but maybe, with the help of a certain elf, she can finally find peace in the overpowering commotion of the city.

The rooftop garden of Jace's living quarters was silent and peaceful- and maybe on the surface it was. Leaves rustled in the gentle, warm breeze, birds resting on the branches of trees above sang, and the rooftop was high enough to at least drown out whatever odd noise cameg from the streets below. Jace had remarked that it was an excellent place to get away from it all and enjoy a little bit of quiet, and those words had certainly gotten Nissa's hopes up, but even in the near-silence of the garden, "peace" was hardly something she felt.

Nissa wished she could hear the world around her like everyone else- oblivious to the chaos that seemed to fill every nook and cranny of Ravnica that she had allowed herself to travel through. At all hours, no matter how late or how early, the sprawling city-scape of Ravnica was always awake, always abuzz with some sort of activity. There was never a bit of silence, and it constantly left Nissa's senses reeling, as if the very plane of Ravnica was constantly shaking her awake right when she felt she was finally finding peace.

And worse, still, was the fact she was starting to fail at internalizing her discomfort. When she and the other members of the Gatewatch had first arrived, she tried incredibly hard to keep from letting people know that the constant assault on her senses was a problem- people like Jace, who had been kind enough to give her free-range of his garden, and Gideon who tried so hard to respect her boundaries, and Chandra, who was sunlight incarnate- just as bright and just as warm- and Liliana who… well, she at least never attempted to bother her. But after a long night of hardly being able to meditate (it seemed there was some sort of celebration going on that Nissa hadn't bothered to attend, but all the loud noises and bright lights and strong smells still found her regardless), Chandra accidentally breaking a cup during breakfast (that Nissa had practically forced herself to attend) finally made her snap.

Well, not exactly "snap". She hadn't shouted at anyone or done anything harsh- in fact she hadn't said much of anything at all. But no one had expected her to flinch as if she had been struck and cover her ears like somebody had screamed right into them, hunching over as if she had been punched. She caught a brief glimpse of the look in Chandra's eyes and could feel Gideon's hands hovering just barely out of reach of her skin. She could hear papers in Jace's office slip an fall out of place onto the floor, the sounds of the city slowly waking up outside, assaulting her from all sides. She knew this wasn't the way to react to such a small thing as Chandra's clumsy breaking of a single cup, but it had been the last straw in a long, long line of things that poked and prodded at her. She had to get out, and despite words of concern, and with her hands still over her ears, she had excused herself.

"Nnm…" Nissa mumbled, unable to meditate among the trees and flowers of the garden. She could feel the breeze and hear the rustling leaves but it all felt millions of miles away. They seemed as distant as Zendikar felt- Zendikar, who she hadn't spoken to in so long. Her dear, wild, familiar friend who was now only a silence whenever she called out. She had wanted desperately to planeswalk back, even for just a second, only to embrace the quiet of her home once again, but she feared the second she left, she could be needed. And a part of her foolishly hoped maybe she, too, could grow used to Ravnica, despite how many times she had tried and failed to travel through the bustling streets or try to commune with the plane. But everything was too loud- too harsh. If Ravnica had a voice- a soul she could speak to- she couldn't hear it through the noise of the city built on top of it.

A single tear rolled halfway down her cheek before she caught it and wiped it away. She choked back a sob and glared up at the sunlight leaking through the leaves.

 _I don't understand… why can't I hear you?_ Nissa cast out a thought, but all she heard was noise. Her voice was cut to ribbons by the edges and harshness of the city below her and all around her. She might as well have whispered into a screaming crowd.

"I should at least make amends with everyone." She spoke aloud as she met eyes with a curious little sparrow that was gazing down at her from a branch. It tilted it's head a bit, as if it were genuinely interested in what she was saying. "I should… explain my behavior… somehow." The small bird fluttered it's wings, whistled and lifted itself from up off the branch, through the leaves and out of sight. And as it departed the garden, so did Nissa, her mind abuzz with all the things she could possibly say to excuse what she had done. She didn't want to offend anyone- she didn't want to upset or alarm anyone more than she already had. She treated the situation like she was handling a delicate flower, and formulated careful thoughts as she departed from the garden and headed down the steps.

She could hear activity coming from the library, and with the rest of the dwelling being surprisingly quiet, she headed in that direction first, taking one of the many passageways to get there. But, much to her surprise, the library wasn't as occupied as she had thought, and not with who she had hoped. There, at the table, sat Jace who probably heard about what had happened that morning, but hadn't been present. Lavinia, who was standing a fair distance away, appeared to be counting the seconds Jace wasn't busy with guild-related paper work. And there, across from Jace, was someone new, surprisingly. Nissa was very used to all sorts of people she had never met coming and going- although she was never there to meet them herself, she could always hear them. But this visitor was new, and they certainly weren't the usual fare who came to speak to Jace- this person seemed more of a friend than someone looking for a mediator in a guild dispute.

The first thing she noticed was the fragrant smell of fruit being cut into, releasing thik, sap-like scents into the air. Jace was already helping himself to some, too caught up with eating and talking to notice Nissa had joined him and his guest, who was turned away from her. But even over the old, large chair they sat in, she could catch glimpses of their hair- long and a soft shade of blond that caught the light drifting in from windows, causing it to shimmer like a golden stream. Jace said something through a mouthful of food- a half-cough/half-chuckle mixed in with his words, to which his guest replied with an almost melodic laugh. It seemed his new guest was someone who seemed to rather enjoy Jace's company. Again, all new things.

Lavinia took notice of Nissa first, turning to face her with a slight, familiar nod that Nissa clumsily returned. Lavinia was someone who was always around but Nissa hardly talked to, so even the slightest interaction still felt a little off and awkward. Jace's attention soon followed, almost instinctively noticing Lavinia had acknowledged someone else in the room and looked up from what he was eating. Nissa finally drifted in further into the library, unsure how to greet him or officially announce her presence to Jace's guest who seemed to perk up a bit in realizing Jace's attention had turned to someone behind them. Luckily, Jace was the first to speak up instead.

"Nissa! What a surprise!" He laughed, not even a little bit bothered by the fact she had interrupted his meeting (or whatever it was- Jace's usual guests didn't usually bring him things like fruit). But she could just barely make out the look of worry in his eyes, which was very telling that Chandra and Gideon had probably gotten him up to speed about what had transpired that morning. Nissa slowed her approach.

"Good… afternoon." She finally greeted, choosing even her words of greeting carefully. "Are… Gideon and Chandra around, by any chance?"

"They're actually out right now- but if you stick around down here, they might be back soon." Jace offered, his eyes drifting over to what Nissa could now see was a basket filled with fruits she had never yet seen in her time on Ravnica (not that she had gone out and seen a lot of it) in silent offering. And, before Nissa could turn him down and ask him to simply tell them she had wanted to speak to them when they returned, Jace's guest spoke up, their voice as smooth as a light, summer's breeze and soft as flower petals.

"Now, Jace, aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?" She asked before slowly turning around to face Nissa, who felt her heart skip a beat as she finally got a good look at the woman Jace was meeting with.

Her long, pointed ears immediately gave away she was an elf, but for a second Nissa wrestled with the thought that maybe she was in the presence of an angel. She had soft features, and round, caring eyes that regarded Nissa carefully, but kindly, and it made Nissa drop her usual guard just a bit. Her light-blond hair spilled over her shoulders like liquid and her long, silk gown that flowed over her form and down to her feet. Nissa wanted to introduce herself, quickly and simply, but for some reason she couldn't even find the words or remember her own name. All she could really process, for certain, was that the woman that sat before her was breathtakingly beautiful.

"Oh, right, you haven't met Nissa yet." Jace piped up, no doubt noticing Nissa's very obvious hesitation. "Emmara, this is Nissa Revane. She lives here now, too, along with Chandra and Gideon, though she… usually keeps to herself."

"Nissa Revane." Jace's guest repeated, and just hearing her name said by that same, melodic voice made Nissa sway where she stood. She watched in silent awe as she stood from her seat, hands politely clasped together. "It's very nice to meet you. It's nice to see Jace is opening his home to so many interesting people- at least I know he won't be lonely."

Jace cleared his throat behind her and his guest jumped a bit in surprise, her cheeks flushing a bit- like roses blooming in snow.

"Right, I should probably introduce myself as well, shouldn't I?" She chuckled. "I'm Emmara Tandris, an old friend of Jace's. Maybe you'd like to join us for a little bit of light lunch?"

"I don't know if she…" Jace quietly muttered behind her, but Nissa hardly heard. She was too entranced by Emmara- her hair, her skin, her eyes, and her lips that were drawn up in a smile, as if they had known each other for years. She wanted to drink it in as much as she could- every inch of her- even if she hardly understood why. She was drawn to her, like a moth to a candle in the dark.

"I don't mind." Nissa spoke up. "I was getting a bit hungry…" Jace looked back at her in surprise, but said not a word.

"Wonderful!" Emmara grinned and, as Nissa drew close enough, she reached out and grasped as Nissa's hands, pulling them forward so that they were clasped in front of her between Emmara's own. Jace jumped, expecting Nissa to react to the unsolicited touch like she usually did when Gideon patted her on the back, or when Chandra would touch her shoulder to get her attention. However, instead, Nissa allowed her hands to be held, neither flinching nor gasping. Emmara's hands were warm like stones that had been resting in the sun, and soft to the touch. "Any friend of Jace's is a friend of mine- and I can feel we're going to be _very_ good friends."

Throughout their entire meeting, the warm feeling left behind by Emmara's hands lingerd on Nissa's own, and even though the fruit Emmara had brought was ripe and flavorful, she could hardly taste it. All she could focus on was Emmara- the way she moved, the way she laughed, the way she tucked her hair behind her ear, all the way down to the way she'd politely dab at her mouth when a drop of colorful nectar managed to escape her lips before it made it's way down her chin. She found herself wishing she was that thick, slightly translucent juice, and how odd a thought that was hardly crossed her mind until Emmara rose to leave. Nissa stood as well, along with Jace. It only occurred to Nissa then that she hadn't spoken with her the entire time, and she sorely regretted it.

"It was very nice meeting you, Nissa." Emmara smiled. "Maybe I'll see you again the next time I visit?"

"Yes!" Nissa nodded, finding herself responding more enthusiastically than she had meant to. She feared that her response was odd, and would put Emmara off, but she merely chuckled, fingers pressed gently against her lips. She could, however, see Jace looking at her in surprise from over Emmara's shoulder, and she turned away, feeling her cheeks grown warm.

"Until then, I suppose." Emmara smiled before turning to Jace.

"You're getting better at making friends, I can tell." She said in a hushed tone, as if she was trying to keep what she was saying to him a secret, but even if Nissa had the senses of a regular human, she'd still have been able to hear her from how close they were. Jace stammered clumsily, and Emmara laughed at him. She seemed to act a little more familiar with Jace, and even though she had said they had known one another for some time, Nissa still felt something odd build up in her chest- something she didn't normally feel.

"What's that supposed to mean!?" Jace finally managed to ask.

"Oh, nothing, nothing." Emmara chuckled, waving away her comment. "See me out?"

"Uh- I can see you out, if you'd like!" Nissa suddenly spoke up, words flying from her lips faster than her mind could catch. Emmara looked back at her in surprise, and Jace more so. She drew back under the weight of his stare especially, but now that she had spoke up, she dared not back down. She had to make a habit of not running away bck up to the garden when things got too much for her.

"I-I mean... I would like the chance to speak with Miss Tandris a little more, if you don't mind." She continued, gaze drifting down to the floorboards. "It would be nice to get to know other people better... and it's like she said, that 'any friend of Jace's'..."

"I'm sure Jace needs to attend to his work anyway- and we see one another enough. There's that internal conflict between the Simic and the Golgari after all that I'm sure needs attending to as soon as possible." Emmara brought up, and in the corner of her eye, Nissa could see Lavinia giving her words a curt nod. "Plus, the feeling's mutual, about wanting to talk to someone new a little bit more."

She turned and smiled at Nissa, who couldn't help but look away, as if she were being faced with looking directly into the sun. She worried it might offend the other elf, but instead all Emmara did was chuckle.

"I-I guess..." Jace admitted, looking wearily back in the direction of the office that Lavinia was already motioning towards. "Thanks again, Emmara, for bringing over the fruit."

"Anything to keep you from your diet of coffee and snacks- malnutrition isn't a joke, you know." Emmara teased him. "Try to eat it all before it goes bad."

"Now a days, with the amount of people I have boarding here, it shouldn't last very long at all." He assured her before bidding her farewell. Nissa cast one last look to Jace over her shoulder, not sure whether to feel thankful, or nervous. He gave her a nod before turning back towards his office, shoulders visibly slumping at the prospect of returning to work. After their trials back on Zendikar and Innistrad, it must have been an adjustment to return to busy work, Nissa thought.

"So, I take it you're not from around here, like your friends Chandra and Gideon?" Emmara asked as the two of them walked through the halls of Jace's abode. "Where is it that you hail from- I don't think I've ever seen the likes of you within the city before."

"I-I don't get out very much, I guess you could say." Nissa explained, attempting to be vague. Jace had mentioned before not to be very open about their business as planeswalkers- a touchy subject, Jace had called it with a wavering glance and a nervous tone that made Nissa uneasy just remembering. "I'm not from the city, if that's what your asking... It's all very unfamiliar to me."

"Have you had a chance to get out and see the sights?" Emmara asked her, her tone still warm and inviting.

"I..." Nissa paused as they arrived at the front door, picking up on the usual commotion bleeding in from outside. She attempted to hide her flinch as she looked away uneasily. "This place... isn't like where I come from. It's all incredibly loud and overwhelming. I'm afraid if I tried to go out on my own that I wouldn't get very far. I'm used to quiet... Where I'm from is a lot more peaceful."

"Is that so...?" Emmara asked, her question a sigh that weighed heavy on Nissa's mind. She placed her one hand thoughtfully on her hip and brushed her hair out of her face with the other, a quiet hum muffled behind her closed lips.

"I-I'm sorry... if I said something wrong." Nissa apologized out of habit. "It feels like all I've been doing are wrong things lately. The unfamiliarity of this place has been getting to me- I want to get acquainted with your city, it's just so overpowering I can't quite acclimate myself."

"Oh, no, you're fine! I was just thinking..." Emmara began as she reached out and took Nissa's hand again, enveloping it in warmth that soothed Nissa's worries on contact. "Perhaps you might want to come with me? If you're not too busy I'd like to show you something, if I'm able. I know of a place I like to visit when I'm feeling overwhelmed and anxious, and I think it might give you an appreciation for Ravnica."

"I... I don't know." Nissa muttered. Jace said Gideon and Chandra would be back soon, and she still desperately wished to make amends with them before things got too awkward to work around.

"This city may be chaotic at times, but there's beauty to be found here, as well." Emmara explained. "I'd like to show you that side of this place- if you'll allow me."

One look at Emmara and Nissa knew for a solid fact that there was beauty to be found on Ravnica. She wished she had the heart to actually open her mouth and say those very things, but her mouth was uncooperative, leaving her stumbling and stammering. Emmara's smile was so inviting and her hands were so soft and warm, they seemed to chase away her anxieties, if only for the moment. The more she gave her offer some thought, the more she swore she could hear something- a voice, small enough to be mistaken for the wind or the commotion outside, urging her to listen to Emmara's words and follow wherever her warm touch took her.

"... I guess it couldn't hurt to see." Nissa finally said, and the smile Emmara offered up in return made Nissa fear that she would melt into a puddle right there in the entryway. She laced her fingers between Nissa's, her grip growing more firm and her general energy that surrounded her becoming more energetic and exited.

"I promise, you won't be disappointed." Emmara assured her as she opened the door and led Nissa out into the mid-day sun- out in the crowds and the buzzing noise. Nissa flinched a bit under all of the pressure, seeking for some sort of peace and finding none in even the more unoccupied spaces. Everywhere she cast her senses, she felt overwhelmed. Everywhere she sought refuge, something was there to make her recoil. She gripped Emmara's hand all the tighter as she stopped right before descending the steps toward the street.

"Are you alright?" Emmara asked, looking up from the step below in concern.

"I'm sorry..." Nissa apologized again. "All this noise and activity is probably normal for you... I almost admire how you can just let it all roll passed you, like a rock in a stream."

"What about me, then?"

"E-excuse me?"

"Is there anything about me that's loud or overwhelming?" Emmara asked with a kind smile and a tilt of her head. Nissa contemplated her question, rolling it over again and again in her mind as she focused on her- her kind eyes, her soft hair, her inviting smile and her melodic voice. Everything that the city of Ravnica was, Emmara was not. She was a peaceful port in a violent storm, the warmth of her hand a guiding light leading Nissa to shore.

"No you... you're everything peaceful... everything calm." Nissa shook her head, feeling her cheeks grow warm from blushing. "You... remind me of an old friend... one I haven't spoken to in ages."

"Then how about this: don't focus on anything else, just focus on me. I promise, I'll lead you to somewhere where you can truly be at peace." Emmara offered. "Just follow my lead, you don't need to do anything else."

"Oh..." Nissa gasped softly with a nod, taking a breath and doing just that. Instead of trying to focus on communing with the plane that could not or would not be heard, she aimed her focus closer, staring at Emmara's hand that gently embraced her own, feeling her heartbeat just below the surface of her soft skin. Her own life force was almost like that of Zendikar: knowing and peaceful, trustworthy and familiar. It made her long for her home, but at the same time she dared not part from Emmara's side as she was slowly led down the steps.

The city was no longer so imposing if Emmara was all she had to focus on.

* * *

 

Emmara explained an incredible amount about the Selesnya Conclave as she led Nissa through the city streets, having practically novels-worth of things to say about the guild's place in the city of Ravnica, as well as her own place in it. It seemed to be a very particular passion of Emmara's, and the information came so fast and so intense that it was hard fro Nissa to take it all in. Instead she focused on the passion in Emmara's eyes, and the prideful smile that spread across her lips as she spoke- those things she could understand. She could go on and on about Zendikar the same way.

"We don't have very much longer to go- just a quick trip upwards." Emmara finally said, breaking Nissa from her trance.

"Trip upwards?" Nissa questioned as she finally broke her focus away from Nissa to turn her gaze upward, beholding a mighty tree that towered over all the surrounding buildings. It's branches reached up toward the clear, blue skies, blocking out the harsh rays of the sun, only allowing the softest beams of light to reach the street where they stood. Nissa could feel an incredible swell of mana there at the base of the tree- a voice so loud if almost felt as if she were in the presence of something like a god. She had to fight the urge to bow.

"This is the world tree, Vitu-Ghazi." Emmara said, like she was introducing someone new to Nissa- and honestly, it felt like it. This wasn't so much just a giant tree as it was an entity all it's own, and Nissa stood in awe of it. Who knew that such an amazing force of nature existed within the chaos and crowded streets of Ravnica? No wonder Emmara was so beautiful coming from a guild where something as powerful and majestic as this stood at it's center. "It's certainly not what it used to be, but it-"

" _It's amazing..._ " Nissa interrupted her in awe, following the trunk upwards and tracing every branch with her eyes.

"Trust me, it's better once you're up-top." Emmara laughed. "Not very many people have the privilege to enter Vitu-Ghazi, I can almost guarantee we'll be alone."

Simply being inside the trunk of the mighty tree left Nissa feeling safe. There was a flow of mana that traveled through the bark- albeit weakly, but enough to keep Nissa's senses from wandering back to the chaos of the outside. Being within, as they traversed winding, twisting staircases, felt almost like an embrace. But, even so, she dared not let go of Emmara's hand as she led her up higher and higher, leaving the din of Ravnica behind.

"I come up here a lot to think, when I feel the weight of things start to get to me." Emmara explained as they finally reached a particular landing. A sweet-smelling breeze blew through the open door and filled the stairwell. Nissa stood at the precipice, feeling her hand grow horribly cold now that Emmara wasn't holding onto it. She held her hand close to her heart, feeling the last traces of warmth as Emmara left her side to venture out across the look-out that acted as a garden. The flowers that bloomed there flourished, and branches from the tree itself shaded the spot, acting as smaller trees themselves. And, at the center of it all was Emmara, a breeze blowing her hair to the side as she turned back to Nissa and smiled. She felt her breath catch in her throat and hear heart skip a beat in that moment, and she hoped it didn't show on her face.

"Come on- you're going to love this- I promise!" Emmara called out, holding out her hand that Nissa was very willing to take hold of. Trying not to seem too eager, Nissa walked out onto the landing herself to join her, all the way out by the small boarder wall at the very edge. The wind got a little stronger the further Nissa ventured out, but as she stumbled over to the wall and to Emmara, whose hand she very eagerly grasped, the wind became nothing more than a breeze to her.

"This is Ravnica." Emmara spoke as Nissa looked out over the ledge, taking in the amazing view. She could see the entirety of the sprawling city from there- every building and every spire, every tree and every fortress. From the ground, all she could ever see was the hustle and bustle and chaos, but from where she stood now, the city that once threatened to push her over the edge seemed oddly beautiful in its own way. And, from up there, in the embrace of Vitu-Ghazi, there was only silence- only peace and the warmth of Emmara's hand.

 _So this is it_ , Nissa thought to herself as she closed her eyes and invited her other senses to drink everything in. _This is your voice, Ravnica..._

"By the look on your face, it seems like you approve." Emamra laughed beside her, drawing Nissa's focus back to rest on her. Her golden hair danced in the breeze and a gentle blush dusted her cheeks. Her eyes reflected the branches of Vitu-Ghazi, and her beauty complimented the flowers blooming all around them.

"Yes... you're amazing- I-I mean, it's amazing! The view! The view is amazing!" Nissa stammered, as not only she, but Emmara also heavily blushed. "Thank you... for bringing me here."

"If you'd like, we can come back here- again and again, as much as you like." Emmara offered, twirling a strand of her hair shyly as she looked out over the edge, back at the breathtaking view. "It seems like you found what you were looking for up here, after all."

In that moment, the amazing view hardly mattered. All that mattered, as Nissa finally got her chance to commune with the new and unfamiliar plane, was Emmara, the comforting warmth of her hand and the blush on her cheeks.

"Yes." Nissa spoke with a nod. "That, and then some."

* * *

 

By the time they arrived back at Jace's living quarters, night had begun to fall, the noise of the regular hustle and bustle replaced with the deep, swaying noises of the city nightlife. Nissa and Emmara climbed the steps to the front door, still hand-in-hand. At this point, it almost felt natural to do so. Emmara was Nissa's tether- the light in the slowly-growing darkness.

"I'm sorry, I didn't expect to get you here this late." Emmara admitted as they arrived at the door. "I hope you didn't have anything you needed to attend to."

"Even if I did, it wouldn't matter. What you showed me was more than worth it- I feel refreshed." Nissa assured her. "Thank you, again... for showing me the true beauty of Ravnica."

"It was my pleasure." Emmara said with a smile. "Anything for a friend."

She reached up to brush the usual strand of hair out of her face to tuck it behind her ear, but this time Nissa's hands were much swifter, scooping up the stray hair with her own finger and tucking it behind Emmara's ear herself. Her finger lingered against Emmara's cheek, and she could feel heat rising from below her skin. The two of them stared into each others eyes, lit only by the glow of the lights leaking out from inside.

"Can I ask you something? Y-you can say no, if you want, but I... I feel I need to ask-" Nissa spoke up.

"Yes?" Emmara asked, sounding legitimately interested in what she had to say.

"...Can I kiss you?"

"A-a kiss... was it?" Emmara stammered, and Nissa immediately felt the sting of regret.

"L-like I said, you don't have to say yes- it's fine if you don't want to, I ca see why you wouldn't. Just pretend I didn't-" Nissa began to blather before she felt the familiar warmth of Emmara's hand- this time resting on her own cheek and turning her back to face her. Nissa felt her words dissolve, leaving hr with her mouth hanging open uselessly.

"Just one kiss." Emmara said firmly. "Just one... for now."

Nissa blushed, unsure of what to say as she reached out and rested her hands on Emmara's shoulders.

"So long as you're alright with it." Nissa spoke softly as she slowly leaned in. Emmara gently shut her eyes, her lips lightly pursed as she stood, patiently waiting. "Just... one... kiss."

"Nissa, I heard you talking, are you out-!?" Chandra's voice cut through the silence as the door to Jace's abode flew open, bathing the entrance in light. Both Emmara and Nissa gasped, quickly separating and trying to act natural- and more than likely failing, judging by the blush on Chandra's freckled cheeks. "A-ah, Miss Tandris, you're out here, too!"

"You can just call me Emmara..." She insisted weakly.

"Nissa, Jace told me you'd gone out- I was super surprised, but it looks like you had a city guide. To be honest, I was a little worried, but it looks like you were in capable hands." Chandra said with a smile. "I... I'm sorry about this morning. You seemed really upset."

"No, Chandra, please, it wasn't your fault! I was honestly hoping to get the chance to apologize myself before I left." Nissa insisted. "It's just been a hard transition to a new place, that's all. I'm going to try to do better, I promise."

"Well, then I'll promise not to break any more of Jace's cups." Chandra chuckled. "But I'm glad you're not mad at me..."

"Of course I'm not mad at you, Chandra- just a little overcome, but I think I'm on the road to recovery now, thanks to Emmara." Nissa said, giving her companion a nod.

"Well, they're almost done preparing dinner, so your timing is absolutely perfect. Liliana might actually come and join us this time, so we can all eat together for once." Chandra said, as Nissa tried to mirror the girl's excitement over Liliana joining them. "Emmara, if you want, you can join us as well. I bet Jace would really appreciate it."

"If you'll have me, I'd be glad to." Emmara nodded before looking to Nissa, who returned her smile with one of her own. It seemed, for then at least, the one, single kiss was going to have to wait.

"It's good to be home." Nissa said with a content sigh as they all went inside together.


	8. Vacation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Required Reading: Ravnicademy. Ajani has a lot of things he wants to ask Elspeth, and a lot more things he wants to tel her before she heads off the college. But, when he's asked to join her on a trip to the beach with her friends, the chance to do so couldn't be more out of his reach!

Despite everything, the final day of the school year had finally arrived to the Ravnica Academy campus. Energy flowed through the once dreary halls- the final day of a wild, unpredictable year had finally come. The death of Niv Mizzet, the wild, unpredictable shake-up of the guild leaders that was finally starting to settle after a head-turning changing of the guard, the maze-running- it all came to a head on that final day, and it felt like the release of a breath being held for much too long. Or, at least, Ajani Goldmane felt so.

He had come into the strange and twisted play happening beneath the noses of the entire student body almost near it's end- a pawn in a grand scheme he would have been completely alright not knowing about for the rest of his natural life. The thousand-years long feud between the dean of the academy, Mr. Markov, and an ancient, powerful dragon by the name of Nicol Bolas was something most of the people running through the halls, cheering and yelling happily, were blissfully unaware of. They didn't know how close their world came to shattering- how close their happy little world, where all that mattered was the beginning of summer vacation, came to being torn asunder. Ajani wished he didn't know. Ajani wished he hadn't been involved the way he had. But now, as he walked through the halls, putting up an impressive front for all who noticed and greeted him, wishing was all Ajani could do.

The reality of what really had happened in the maze twisting and winding below the school was just as ever-present as the spark that now burned brightly, somewhere deep in his heart.

Ajani paused in the main entrance, looking down into the gaping maw that led down into the maze. The school had the entrance roped off again, and he even heard there were plans on completely sealing the entrance before the new school year began. It had served its purpose for the school;s big guild event, and it had served its purpose for the sake of Ravnica itself. Until somebody else needed to hide something deep within the bowels of the winding, complex caverns below, there was no point in leaving it open.

" _Your poor, dear Elspeth is under my spell now. If you want to see her alive, and want to spare her from an eternity of nightmares, you'll be a good little kitty and do exactly as you're told."_

A frown formed on Ajani's black lips as he recalled when the demon of a dragon, Nicol Bolas, had come to him with his cruel offer: serve him and kill his friends that were running the maze, or let Elspeth be swallowed up in a world of unending terror. Ajani wished he had been strong in that moment, stood up to the beast and told him "no". He wished he hadn't been so weak as to give himself over to the monster and fight in his name- nearly kill his friends in his name. He had apologized to Tajic and Lavinia over and over since then, and he hoped he could apologize to Sarkhan Vol, as well once he was out of the hospital.

 _You put a man in the hospital and almost killed your friends, all for a girl who hardly even knows you._ Ajani let the bitter thought pass through as he gazed down into the depths. _You're a weak coward! You're nothing like the Ajani Goldmane who came before you!_

"Ajani! There you are!" A familiar voice that filled Ajani with warmth pulled him from his dark thoughts and away from the entrance to the maze. He looked up from the inky black void and up to see sunshine incarnate: Elspeth Tirel, the girl he'd had a crush on for years, the girl he almost killed for... The girl who's own, brilliant light he had felt in the swirling, endless, silent chaos of the Blind Eternities. She was just like him, he knew it... but he had yet to actually speak to her about it. Hell, he'd hardly spoken to her at all since she returned to school after waking from her mysterious coma. He'd avoided her quite actively, in fact. Seeing her face, as brilliant as it was, only made him think of how easily he was swayed to the side of evil just to see that smile again.

"Oh, Elspeth!You look like you're doing well." He remarked as she hurried over to him, her yearbook clutched in her arms.

"According to my doctors, I came out of things just fine- not that it's stopped everyone from worrying about me." She laughed, tucking a strand of her dark-brown hair behind her ear. "I'm just glad I got sick _before_ finals- I can walk at graduation and everything."

"Heh, congrats!" Ajani smiled awkwardly, internally wondering, again and again, what she was doing there. Surely she had other people to talk to- friends to join up with, a lacrosse team to say her goodbyes to- but instead she was there, talking to him while he was feeling too glum to fully enjoy her presence. "...Did you... want something?"

"There is actually- something I've been meaning to talk to you about, I just haven't gotten the chance." She mentioned, as she hit Ajani with a look he was so sure was knowing. Her gaze was serious and trusting, like she was about to tell him a secret. Ajani gulped, very glad for the fact that she would never be able to see him blush under his thick, white fur.

"Oh? W-well... me, too." He said with a nod. "B-but, you go first! I can wait!"

"Hmm... is that so?" Elspeth said under her breath, and Ajani felt his own hitch. If this was about planeswalking, if this was about what had happened in the maze, if this was about their past lives- any of it, Ajani felt a little nervous about having such a private conversation out in the open. He was a flick of the tongue away from unloading about it, though, with somebody who understood. Everything he knew now weighed so heavy on his mind, he wanted very horribly to share the burden.

Ajani Goldmane- the _original_ Ajani Goldname- had run into Elspeth Tirel many times, always under bad circumstances. Always a step behind when he should have. Always finding her the moment she would break. Here, in the halls of Ravnica Academy, a far, far cry from their meetings they had suffered through in their past lives, things promised to be different, he was sure!

"Well, if you insist- a bunch of my friends and I are going on a end-of-the-year trip right after graduation. They found this hotel right next to the ocean, they just need heads to make ends meet." Elspeth explained herself, rubbing the back of her neck and making a nervous face, her gaze flying off in a different direction. "They're okay with me inviting underclassmen, so you just kind of came to mind. It would be really, really cool if you could come!"

Oh, so it wasn't about any of that. It was about a beach trip she was looking for people to pitch in on. Nothing about past lives or planeswalking, just an invitation to come along on a trip. Ajani tried his hardest not to look let-down- and after all, she did say it would be cool if he came, that much was a plus. She thought enough of him to think of him at all, and even invite him on a trip to the ocean, where he'd be able to see her clad in a swimsuit. As someone who possibly knew the same ancient secrets as him, it was a huge disappointment. But, as a teenage boy with a gigantic, secret crush...

"I-I'd love to come! It sounds fun, I didn't have any plans except to pack up the rest of my things and head home for the summer after everything's over. It would be really nice to let loose a little before those grueling summer training camps." Ajani told her with a smile, as genuine as he could muster.

"Great! I'll let everyone know- you coming should round things out for the cost of the hotel." Elspeth heaved a sigh of relief. "Honestly, what were they expecting to do if thy couldn't come up with the money... oh, right, you had something to tell me as well?"

Suddenly, the weight on Ajani's shoulders returned. There was no way he could actually tell her what he originally planned to.

"I-I... I just wanted to ask if you could sign my yearbook." He quickly came up with a lie as he began to root through his bag, pulling his own yearbook free. "Once you go out there and become a famous lacrosse player or something, I bet your signature is going to become highly sought after, after all."

"Thinking ahead are we...?" Elspeth muttered. "Fine, so long as you sign mine! There's not a lot of room left in there, so I hope you aren't the type to write long, heartfelt messages."

"No, no, I'm more of a simple 'have a great summer' kind of guy." He assured her as they traded books. Elspeth quickly produced a pen from her pocket and uncapped it with her teeth while Ajani went back to searching for something to write with back in the clutter of his bag.

Elspeth's yearbook was filled to the brim with messages and signatures from both students and staff all wishing her well. Elspeth was a popular student, clearly well-loved and full of promise. She was everything Ajani wished he was- everything he wished he had been when he needed to be. Elspeth, lacrosse star, top student, loved by all, was a modern day hero in her own right. Ajani, on the other hand, felt he could only stand in the shadow of those who had come before him.

"Good luck in college" was all he was able to write, the cold reality that Elspeth wouldn't be attending the academy next year starting to really settle in. And, from what he had heard, she was going to attend a normal college- not one specifically for magic folk and mages. She wasn't going to be attending the college that was a hop and a skip away from the academy. She was going _away_. She was leaving to where Ajani wouldn't have another chance to say everything he wanted to her.

"H... hey... Elspeth." He stammered as she looked up from what she was writing, sticking he cap back on her pen. In that moment, her gaze was almost overwhelming. "Back in the hospital... did you-?"

"Elspeth! We found you, thank the gods!" Before he could finish, what looked like the entire lacrosse team suddenly ran into the main entrance hall, crowding Elspeth and overwhelming Ajani.

"Oh, wow, talk about a stampede!" Elspeth laughed, the group distracting her completely from what Ajani had been saying. "What's all this about?"

"We prepared something special for you back in the locker room- we wanted it to be a surprise!" One of the girls said, looking almost tearful. "We wanted to properly thank you for being on the team all this time!"

"Oh, wow, you guys! You're so sweet!" Elspeth grinned before turning back to Ajani. "Sorry, you seemed like you were about to say something important."

Ajani looked back at the group of people who had come to whisk her away. They looked at her so admirably, like she meant so much to them. She was their friend, who they had known for years. And he was just the leonin who shared a couple of classes with her.

"I-It's nothing, it can wait." He assured her with a sigh, handing her back her yearbook. "I'll see you after graduation."

"Yeah, sure." Elspeth said with a nod, and Ajani couldn't help but notice she looked oddly dejected as she handed him back his. But, at this point, he could do nothing but say farewell as she was led away, leaving him to stare back at the dark entrance of the maze by himself again. Drifting, again, just out of his reach.

He quickly flipped through his yearbook, looking for what Elspeth had written. He recognized her handwriting from papers he had peer-reviewed of hers- very neat, tidy and cute.

"There's a lot we still have to talk about" it read, her name written in elegant cursive just below.

"Elspeth..." Ajani muttered, feeling his heart flutter in his chest just a bit.

* * *

 

Most of the people going on the trip were people from various sports teams- people that Ajani, thankfully, already knew and was on good terms with. They were quick to welcome him into their fold of bright faces and toned muscles when he met them just after the graduation ceremony, some of them still holding onto their caps and gowns. Elspeth still had on her graduation cap, glowing with pride, bright as the sun- and just out of reach.

Ajani wound up riding in a different car, and instead of talking to Elspeth about what he desperately wanted to, he wound up talking about football and college and bragging rights about who helped win what game that they all carried with them like meddles. They shared hushed gossip about how Baltrice from the night class, who should have graduated with the lot of them, had seemingly vanished, and how Tezzeret, the metal-working teacher, had apparently resigned. The talk about how the two of them had secretly run off and eloped together made Ajani uncomfortable, at best.

They also discussed planeswalkers. It was all over the news- on popular blogs, on newspapers and everyone's social media feed. People had begun to show up- people who claimed not to be from Ravnica at all. They brought with them names of distant worlds like Theros and Innistrad, Kaladesh and Vryn- all of them showing up suddenly, out of nowhere, to the strange, little plane that had suddenly come into being in the multiverse. There was a whole political side they didn't dwell on all that much, they all just wanted to romanticize the idea that people had suddenly showed up from different planes of reality. They wanted to speculate what those worlds were like. Ajani, for all the secrets he held back, wanted to know just as badly.

Several hours of driving finally ended with them arriving just in time to throw their things into their hotel room and head to the beach. Afternoon was starting to slip away, and a lot of the summer crowds had cleared out, giving them an almost empty beach. It was a perfect situation- for those of them who could swim, anyway. Ajani, for all of his physical prowess, took one look at the waves and endless expanse of water and immediately volunteered to watch the group's things back where it was safe and dry. As much as he wanted to be out there, getting to spend time with Elspeth, he knew he wouldn't have much luck panicking and struggling against the ocean current. He'd have to wait a little longer and watch her from afar, just as always. Waiting... and watching.

Elspeth wore a white bakini, showing off her toned, tanned skin. She had the long, elegant legs of a dancer, and the build of someone who could hold their own in a fight. She was the perfect mix of breathtakingly beautiful and tough and sporty. As bad as it felt, Ajani couldn't help but sit and stare at her as she frolicked in the waves with her friends. He'd have plenty of time to feel bad about it later, when she would be too far gone to apologize to.

_Elspeth, when you were in the hospital, did you planeswalk? Was it you I felt out there in the Blind Eternities?_

"She's acting totally weird!" Ajani perked up a bit as two of the girls who had come along with them came back to their things, paying Ajani only enough mind to give him a wave before they went back to talking between each other.

"I don't know, I think you're just making stuff up..."

"No, I'm serious, there's no way you don't notice this, too! She's been acting super distant this whole trip- she's been like this since she got out of the hospital!"

Ajani couldn't help but listen in, keeping his gaze fixed forward, continuing to keep Elspeth in his sights as he eavesdropped.

"Well... I mean... I guess she has been acting a little funny... but I mean, the girl was in a coma, I'm sure it did something to her."

"Yeah, like turn her into a _bitch_!"

"Hey, now, that's just mean... But you know... I heard something the other day. I don't know if it's true, but it did surprise me."

"About how she turned down all the offers she got from outside colleges? Oh, I heard about that- apparently she got into some really good normie colleges, too! But she told them all 'no'- like, what kind of stupid move _is_ that?"

"I heard she didn't even choose to go to the college associated with the academy. Like, what, is she planning on taking a gap year? After all the work she put into lacrosse, that doesn't make any sense..."

"She's throwing away a lot, if all that's true. But honestly, with how she's been acting lately... I wouldn't be all that surprised."

Ajani watched Elspeth closely as the two girls talked. Nothing struck him as entirely odd about the way she acted. She was still the bright, sunny girl he'd known for years- the same smile, the same laugh, the same charisma. Maybe it was something he couldn't pick up standing at a distance, or something from a message in a yearbook. Perhaps Elspeth had changed below the surface. Perhaps the very same thing Ajani could feel changing him from the inside out was also changing her.

If she had such a promising future, why was she throwing it all away? If she had a lot she still wanted to talk to him about, why was she still so far away, holding him at a distance? And what was he doing in all this, just letting her slip through his fingers like the sand beneath his feet? Was he just going to watch her from a distance, just like the original Ajani had? Was he going to watch as she vanished, only hoping he would ever see her again? But this time, she wasn't a whole multiverse away, fighting her own battles where he couldn't reach her- she was just down the beach, playing in water that he couldn't swim in.

All he had to do was get up. All he had to do now was get up onto his feet and walk to where she was. But even if the process was much more simple for him than the first Ajani Goldmane, he couldn't bring himself to lift his behind out of the sand. All he could bring himself to do was sit and watch, basking in the glow of the slowly-sinking sun while he pondered questions he was sure would never be answered.

_Elspeth... where are you running off to this time?_

* * *

 

A night of partying had worn everyone out but Ajani. Somebody had brought beer, and somebody else made him and everyone else swear not to go telling anybody, and another person passed him a drink, even though he was hardly able to finish it. The party that went down in their room more or less just happened to Ajani, more than him joining in the merriment. All he could think of was Elspeth, and the gossip surrounding her. All he could think of were the moments ticking by as he wasted them by memorizing how she smiled, how she cringed every time she took a sip of her beer, how she threw her head back as she laughed and how she avoided his gaze every single time they locked eyes.

"Why does she always look away?" He muttered to himself, standing in the harsh glow of the soda machine at the end of the hall. The room he left was the exact opposite of when they had come in- everyone was asleep, either on beds, or on the floor, or on each other. Everyone but Ajani, anyway, who tip-toed over bodies and crept down the hall to stare back at the soda machine, even though he was the least bit thirsty. It wasn't exactly the ideal way to go about clearing his head, but it was better than lying in the dark, looking up at the ceiling, thousands and thousands of words he wanted to share still trapped behind his lips.

" _You'd commit a crime to save this girl, but you won't pull her away from a party to talk to her for five minutes?"_ A voice in his head chided him. _"You were willing to cut people you knew down, and now you won't even brave a swim in the ocean? You deserve to lose her! You deserve to lose her again!"_

"It's just... no use..." He sighed as he reached down to make his selection- only for a hand to swoop in and press a totally different button, and a soda he had paid for but didn't want noisily into the receptacle below. With a gasp he turned to his side, coming face to face with that brilliant smile and those knowing, beautiful eyes he'd been watching from afar all day. Now they were up close, close enough to hold and touch and-

"Elspeth!" He shouted, earning a quick shush from her as she pressed her finger to her lips. Stammering, he dropped his voice down into a harsh whisper, looking around to see if anyone else had followed her out of the room. The hallway in either direction was empty and quiet, save for the two of them and the hum of the soda machine. Finally, the two of them were together... alone. "What are you doing out here?"

"Waiting for you to make a decision here- I'm dying of thirst." She chuckled quietly as she bent down to claim her prize from the machine. "Hope you don't mind- I'll pay you back, if you want."

"No, no, it's... it's fine, I wasn't actually all that thirsty to begin with." Ajani admitted. "I more or less came out here to think."

"Think about what?" She asked him, twisting the cap and opening her drink with a satisfyingly harsh hiss. "From where I stand you've been doing a lot of thinking all day. At the beach and during the party, you were mister space case the whole entire time. What deep reaches of the galaxy have you been exploring all this time, huh?"

"I..." Ajani began, feeling his throat tighten up and his mouth become dry. Her smile, without any effort at all, stole his breath. Instead, all he managed to do was look away in shame, catching a quizzical look on her face as he did so. "...It's... nothing too important."

"Is that so...?" Elspeth asked, her voice quiet and sounding even somewhat disappointed. Ajani bit his lip in frustration, clenching and un-clenching his fists as he struggled to come up with the words he wanted to say to her- or any words, really. She was right there, just within his reach, no one to hear them or steal her away- all he had to do was talk! All he had to do was say something- anything!

"Elspeth, I-"

"Hey, let's take a walk." She suddenly suggested, cutting him off. "I hear the beach around here is really beautiful at night, and I wanted to see it before it's too late."

Too late? That was a strange way of putting it. Ajani looked up, ready to unleash a bevy of questions, but as he did, Elspeth was already inching her way back into the hall, steps away from rounding the corning and walking out of sight.

"You don't have to come if you don't want to, sorry if that came off as weird." She apologized. "Thanks for the soda and all that."

"Wait!" He gasped, reaching out and taking her hand. It was small, in comparison to his, easily fitting in his palm and feeling twice as warm. Every instinct inside of him urged him to let her go, that he was getting too close and making her uncomfortable. However, for the first time that day, Ajani fought against his instincts- his better judgment that was keeping him from approaching her and saying or doing something that might come across as strange, or completely ruin what little they had between them. Instead, Ajani gripped her hand tighter. "Let... Let me come with you. It would be irresponsible for me to let you wander around the beach by yourself at night."

"My, my, what a hero." Elspeth laughed, surprisingly not trying to pull her hand away. "Although I'm hardly a damsel in distress- I'm sure if I ran into trouble I'd be able to handle myself."

"You'd be surprised- a-about the hero thing, I mean." Ajani muttered. "Outside of the football field, well, I'm nothing but a big coward."

"A big coward with a strong grip." Elspeth added, nudging his palm with her fingers.

"Oh... sorry." Ajani said as he let her hand go and began to pull away- only for her to reach out and take his own hand, straining herself to lace her fingers between his. Ajani felt his heart race as he froze in place, his eyes fixed in her hand holding his own- a miracle, in it's own right. Her grip was confident, and held nothing back.

"Come on then, you big coward, we're burning moonlight." She said with a smile, leading Ajani away from the soda machine and down the hall. He dared not fall behind and force her to let go of his hand, he dared not speak- he dared not even breath as they walked down the hall, down the stairs and out the lobby and into the empty, dark streets. He dared not fill the air with small talk as they walked, their path turning from cement to sand as they made their way back to the beach. He dared not ask her why her grip on his hand was growing tighter and tighter. He dared not to over and over until they reached the shore, the cold waters of the ocean lapping against their feet.

And then, finally, he dared.

"Elspeth, are you a-?"

"Do you ever feel like you really don't belong here?" She suddenly asked him, her gaze fixed on the waves and the expanse of dark water stretching out for miles. "Do you... ever feel like you're in the wrong place... all the time?"

"I... I mean, as a leonin, I... I guess I sort of always feel like that."

"No, no, not like that!" Elspeth snapped, just as a powerful wave rolled onto the shore and up passed their ankles. Ajani froze, words caught in his throat. "I'm not talking about feeling unwelcome- we're mages and magic folk, we've always felt like that! I'm talking about feeling like... this place... our town, our school, this beach... isn't where we're meant to be? Like you're constantly a visitor... never at home!"

"I... can't say I have." Ajani admitted, hearing Elspeth bitterly chuckle in response. He wondered if he had said the wrong thing.

"I've always felt that way... I've always felt like I'm wearing a mask- for my teammates, for my teachers, even for my parents, it feels like I'm a stranger living someone else's life." Elspeth sighed. "I finally found out why back at the hospital, you know. I know about a life I apparently lived before this one. I know all about the Elspeth who died here thousands of years ago..."

"...I know..." Ajani muttered, giving Elspeth's hand a tight squeeze. "...I was there... or, at least, Ajani Goldmane was there... too late to save her, as always. Always just a second too late."

"So it _was_ you." Elspeth spoke, sounding content with knowing. "Those arms that held me... they were yours."

"...I'm sorry..."

"You said enough of that already, trust me... and what sort of person would I be if I were still mad about something that happened thousands of years ago that wasn't even your fault? " Elspeth shrugged. "It was no one's fault but Elspeth's- running into battle like she was so sure of herself, even though she wasn't at all. She knew she was fighting a losing battle, but she faced down a monster much more powerful than she could ever be. Nobody could have stopped her."

Ajani fell silent, recalling the nightmares he'd been shown, revealing to him the worst parts of the end of Ajani Goldmane's life. He'd only gotten to Elspeth in time enough to pull her from the rubble and watch her as she died. Seeing his dear friend die in his arms motivated him to take charge and fueled his desire to be a hero for those who remained- but in the end, his death came at the hands of a man who he thought was his comrade. His mind was torn to shreds- his heroism couldn't save him. His heroism didn't save _anyone_.

"I felt you out there in the Blind Eternities, you know." Elspeth mentioned. "Even now, Ajani Goldmne is searching the multiverse for Elspeth... always at her heels." She laughed, but it hardly sounded joyous. It was a laugh that was produced by frowning lips.

"I... I heard you turned down all the colleges you got accepted into." Ajani brought up cautiously. "Is that true?"

"Yeah, it is..." Elspeth said with a somber nod. "Let me tell you, sending that many eloquent, adult emails was harder than I thought."

"B-but... what about your future!?" Ajani shouted. "Why would you throw everything away like that."

"Because my 'future' isn't here on Ravnica- it never has been. I'm just lucky enough to know that for sure now." Elspeth explained. Finally, she pulled her hand away from Ajani's to wade deeper into the water, the waves now lapping at her knees and soaking her pants. "My future is out there- out in the multiverse! Somewhere, out in that great beyond, is the place I really belong! The place Elspeth Tirel was searching for, up until the very end, could very well be out there, waiting..."

"But Elspeth-" Ajani began, taking a single step before the waves forced him back. He dared not wade any deeper than he was now, even in this situation. He could already feel the current pulling him into the deep, and it filled him with dread. "...You can't!"

"Come with me then!" Elspeth offered, holding out her hand. "Let's do it- let's explore the multiverse together! Let's find a new home- our _real home_!"

"My real home is here, on Ravnica!" Ajani burst, taking another step back onto the damp sand and out of the water. "Elspeth, I know finding out about all this is confusing, but you can't just go running off into the multiverse like this! I can't just abandon everyone and everything here, and neither can you! My home is here... you're home is here..."

"Are you saying that because you believe it?" Elspeth asked, narrowing her eyes and hitting Ajani with a stare that made his blood run cold. "Or are you just afraid?"

"Hey, you!" A voice bellowed from up the beach as the harsh light of a flash light lit up the sand and surf all around Ajani. He flinched under the sudden, blinding glare, and squinted against it, struggling to see who had spoken. He barely made out the silhouette of a person, and the glare of a police badge. "You shouldn't be out this late- it's way past curfew and the beach is closed!"

"I-I'm sorry, we were just taking a walk!" Ajani gasped. "B-but, we were just leaving- right, Elspeth?" He looked to the side, back out toward the water, only to find nothing but waves. There was no hurtful glare, no disappointed frown- no Elspeth. Just the endless, dark ocean that Ajani dared not tread into. At firsst, he figured that maybe she'd been knocked over by a wave- but he knew better. His heart knew better.

" _You're such a coward."_

* * *

 

The next day, Ajani lied to the rest of the group, saying Elspeth had taken a taxi home ahead of the rest of them. They all seemed concerned, but none of them were surprised.

* * *

 

The hustle and bustle of coming students could be heard just outside the door of Ajani's apartment. The student apartments were abuzz with activity the afternoon of check-in day, everybody filling in with their boxes and bags, greeting each other after the long summer away. Ajani would normally be out there, greeting people who he missed, helping people with their boxes and catching up. His entire summer had been filled with football training camps and big family gatherings- a constant forward momentum without a single stop, so now that he had the chance to isolate himself he took the chance wholeheartedly, even if, institutionally he didn't want to. Just once, before he went out to face everyone after the long, hot summer, he wanted to be alone. He wanted _peace._

It was in those rare, quiet moments where he remembered Elspeth: their final confrontation and her unconventional goodbye. No, it was hardly a goodbye, it was a the planeswalker equivalent of storming out and slamming the door. She had reached out her hand for him to take, and instead he shrank back. She asked for him to follow her, and instead he insisted on staying. She finally gave him the chance to fulfill the wants and wishes of Ajani Goldmane who had come before: the chance to live at her side and protect her throughout the multiverse. He had been offered one, last scrap of salvation for the crimes he still felt were his, thousands of years in the future, and he might as well have slapped it out of her hands- or, rather, slapped her across the face.

" _Or are you just afraid?"_ Her final question haunted him the entire summer, forcing him to throw himself into every activity that came his way, and whether it was to forget what she said or to prove her wrong, he didn't know. But whenever it came time to stop and to rest, her final words would be there, and her glower if disappointment would be there every time he closed his eyes.

He had failed her again. Not because he couldn't get to her in time, but because he refused to meet her at all.

Ajani rolled over onto his side, looking up from the couch to gaze out at the view he could see from the large living room window. His thoughts cluttered his mind, like the boxes that were stacked up all around him.

"She was right..." He said with a quiet sigh. There was no more running away from it, no more ignoring the reality he had made for himself. "...I _am_ afraid."

The ringing of his cell phone pierced the silence of the room, forcing him up and out of his depressing thoughts. Sitting up to reach over and grab his phone, he was met with a number he didn't quite recognize. Shrugging, he could have honestly let the phone ring until voice mail picked up the call instead, but he answered, expecting some underpaid telemarketer calling to try and sell him something.

"Hello?"

"Hi- Hello! Is this Ajani? I... I got this phone number from somebody else, so I don't really know..." The voice on the other end was wavering, but unmistakable. It was a warm, familiar voice that made Ajani's heart pound- and at first, he figured it was a prank, or his mind playing tricks on him. He gulped hard, trying to find the words to say- any damn words at all! His mouth hung open uselessly, failing to even make a sound. "Hello? Are you there- please tell me this was the right number."

"E...Elspeth..." Ajani finally managed, feeling a lump grow in his throat just from saying her name. "You... It's you... what-?"

"I'm sorry, I- this is stupid, you probably don't want to hear from me, I'm sorry." She groaned. "This was a dumb idea, I'm sorry."

"No- No, Elspeth! Don't hang up, don't you dare hang up!" Ajani barked, leaping to his feet. His limbs that had grown tired found new strength as energy he thought he had lost flowed through him. With a few, large bounds over his couch and around all of his boxes, he was rushing out the door before he even finished his sentence.

"I'm sorry, I... I don't even know what I'm doing here. I think I'm making a huge mistake." Her voice sounded shaky, each word coming out like a weak, cautious quiver. "I shouldn't have even called."

"Elspeth, please, I need you to stay on the line!" Ajani practically begged as he pushed through the crowd, ignoring calls of his name and ducking and dodging around people and their belongings. "Where are you, I'm coming to see you right now!"

"I... Why would you even want to? You... you really shouldn't..."

"I want to see you, Elspeth!" Ajani insisted as he practically flew down the stairs. "I've wanted to see you all this time, so please tell me where you are!"

"I-I'm at the old church building-"

"Good, I need you to stay there then!" He shouted, breaking into a run as he headed outside. "I'm coming to see you alright, so you better be there!" He was met with silence, and it took him a good few seconds before he realized he'd been hung up on. " _Dammit_!"

Tearing across the school campus, Ajani felt his heart race. After an entire, impossibly long summer, he finally got to hear her voice. She was there, just within reach, just like before, waiting for him. Her clumsy phone call was her holding out her hand again for him to take, this time wavering and unsure, afraid of being rejected a second time.

"Please be there!" Ajani panted under his breath as he got closer to his destination. "Please, gods, be there!"

This time he wasn't going to back down. This time he wasn't going to be a coward. This time, he was going to take that hand!

"Elspeth!" He roared as he reached the old church building and threw open the doors. The place was probably left unlocked for the first guild meeting of the school year, but for now it was relatively unoccupied as Ajani stumbled in, gasping for breath as he came tripping to a halt. Resting his hands on his knees, he stopped to catch his breath- at least enough to lift his head and call her name again. "Elspeth!"

"...Ajani..."

There she was, standing near the alter, a single beam of light drifting in from a window up above and settling upon her like a heavenly spotlight. She didn't look hurt or horrible run down- maybe a little tired, maybe a touch weathered. She looked back at him like she was genuinely surprised he had shown up, like he hadn't just shouted about how he was going to come and see her moments before.

"...Elspeth."

"Ajani, I'm so sorry, I-" She began to say before he lunged forward despite his exhaustion and wrapped her in a tight hug. She took a few clumsy steps backward in surprise, but held herself up in the end under the impressive strain. "A-Ajani-!"

"I'm in love with you!" Ajani burst out. "I don't care if you don't feel the same way, I just don't want to lose my chance at telling you again! And I know I'm probably messing things all up, but I'm tired of being scared all the time! I'm in love with you- I've been in love with you for years!"

"Then... why didn't you follow after me?" He heard her ask, her voice sounding genuinely hurt. He pulled away so the two of them could face each other, and the gaze she cast up in his direction seemed just as hurt as she sounded. "Did you even try looking for me?"

"I figured... you wouldn't want to see me after what I did..." Ajani admitted. "I figured I didn't have the right... anymore."

"You idiot, you've always had the right!" Elspeth cried, clinging to him. "I was so lonely out there... even though I knew I was looking for where I belonged I never felt like I was getting closer! I... I felt like a failure."

"...Then what about here?" Ajani dared to ask, pulling her closer to him. "Now that you're back... do you still feel like you don't belong here?"

"On Ravnica... I still feel like it's not really my home." Elspeth admitted, and for a split second Ajani felt his heart sink. "But here..." She wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against his chest, right above his heart. "... Here... feels more like home."

"Elspeth..." Ajani uttered, feeling his body grow warm. "... I'm not going to force you to stay. If there's a place where you belong out in the multiverse, I'm not going to keep you from it because I want to hold on to you and keep you near. But... at the same time, I can't come with you. I can't follow after you like the original Ajani Goldmane would have wanted."

"But-"

"But I'll always be here, as your home away from home. I'll always be here for you, always when you need me most. I'll never be a second too late, I'll never feel like we're always missing each other- because I'll be here, always ready to pick you back up."

"That... That sounded really rehearsed." Elspeth gave a half-chuckle, although her eyes were moist with tears.

"I had an entire summer vacation to practice." Ajani admitted, his vision growing cloudy with his own. "What do you think- too much? Too forced?"

"No, not at all... it was perfect." Elspeth sniffled, hiding her face by burying it against Ajani's chest, who slowly gathered her back up into an embrace.

"Welcome home, Elspeth."


	9. Pretend Relationship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teysa had no real intention on going out during her visit home, but a night at the club is full of unexpected things. One of those things turns out to be Kaya, who saves her from getting picked up by unsavory characters and shows her a totally different side of the city Teysa wanted so desperately to escape.

I officially hate this club and everyone in it- including my friends who dragged me here in the first place.

" _Oh, don't worry too much Teysa, you'll have fun!"_

" _Don't be such a stick in the mud, Teysa... or should we say 'cane in the mud'."_

I roll my eyes just thinking about it: how they were all smiles and laughter as I tried to turn them down. But, in the end, they got me with the fact we hardly see one another any more, and that I'm only visiting for the weekend before going back out to college. I just needed to pick up some stuff from home I really needed that I was too worried to get shipped by mail (I don't trust anybody but me to pick up and deliver any important documents after I once found an incredibly sensitive series of papers my doctor back home mailed to me soaking wet in my mailbox), say hi to my parents, eat a home cooked meal for once- but then all my friends, who go to the local university, found out I was in town.

I should have just flown and taken a taxi, someone must have seen my car parked outside my family's house.

Unfortunately, it had been almost a year since I saw any of them, and I'm leaving tomorrow, so I figured what would one night at a club really hurt? Well, it turns out, it would hurt a lot and now I understand why it is I haven't seen any of these bastards hiding in the crowd in almost a year. It only took 30 minutes for my leg to start acting up on the dance floor, and also 30 minutes for all of them to forget that they promised they'd stick around if I needed to sit down and said they wouldn't leave me out. Well, now my only companion is my beer- and I saw some random dude slip something inside after I dropped my cane at the bar by accident, so now I'm just clutching it. _Like it's a neck._

Bodies block my view of the dance floor as I scan the crowd for my friends, hoping I might be able to lock eyes with at least one of them and hail them down. Now all I'm staring at is man crotch. I sigh into my drink, refusing to hide my ire as I look up at the three whole guys who felt it was necessary to crowd single, little me. I can tell their intentions aren't in my best interest just by the look in their eyes.

"Hey, cutie, what are you doing sitting here all by yourself?" One of them asks, and a part of my soul withers and dies right there in my seat hearing him call me 'cutie'.

"Enjoying myself, until recently." I respond sharply, eyes scanning the surrounding area for any potential exit plan. I can't exactly make much of a quick exit since I'd also have to grab my cane and then proceed to limp in the direction of the exit I completely forgot the location of. Outlook of escape seems poor at best.

"Aw, don't be like that! You can party with us- we'll show you a good time!" Another one of the walking sacks of meat with genitals speaks.

"Sorry, guys, all partied out down here." I turn him down, but it hardly results in anything other than them getting a little more aggressive.

"Don't be such a bitch- we're not looking to do anything weird, we just want to have fun!"

"Somehow I really, _highly_ doubt that." I grumble. "So could you please just-"

"Oh, hey, there you are, Monique, I've been looking everywhere for you!"

Well that certainly isn't my name _at all_ , but the girl who is easily the same height as the dudes slowly encroaching upon my personal space- taller if you count the volume of her hair- is definitely looking right at me and saying it as she pushes through the crowd and passed the seemingly impenetrable wall of dude surrounding me like it's nothing. She has dark skin, full lips and confidence that makes her glow in the dimly-lit room, and she's looking down at me like we're best friends. I don't know her and judging by the _very_ fake name she definitely doesn't know me- but hell if I wouldn't like to.

"Who the hell are you?" One of the guys asks, approaching the newcomer with an air of caution- is the prey, or is she a _predator_?

"Sorry boys this one's taken." She says confidently as she rests her hand on my shoulder. Her hand is warm and even though her grip is somewhat tight it makes me feel safer somehow. "Sorry for leaving you alone, hun, I was talking to someone."

It takes me half a second to realize she's talking to me, and at first I respond like a fish, opening and closing my mouth a few times like a moron.

"It's fine." I finally squeak out, hoping my face isn't as flushed as it feels.

"Let's get out of here where we can be alone." She insists as she reaches down and gently takes me by the wrist, guiding me to my feet. Suddenly, it's like the rude pack of guys who have, in fact, still not left, aren't around. In fact, everyone in the club doesn't exist anymore- it's just this girl and her warm, comforting hands, kind smile and eyes beautiful and deep enough to get lost in.

 _Fuck, is this the moment in my life where I discover I like girls? Or is this that suspension bridge effect I hear about all the time? Well, regardless of the situation, she's definitely really, really good looking.._.

"Hey, two chicks- that's pretty hot. We're into that kind of stuff, why don't you ladies stay a while?" One of the guys asks, ripping me right out of the moment as I feel him grab my arm. I'm torn back to the club and to how much I want to just leave and how much I _really hate being touched without my consent._ Without thinking about it much, I take my roofied beer and splash it right in the guy's face. For a split second, I feel a twinge of triumph.

But then I realize I've just doused a strange man twice my size in beer, and I realize it wasn't a smart decision. Certainly not the time to go feeling incredibly proud of myself now that I can see the clear, almost tangible anger in his eyes.

"You little bitch!" He snarls.

"Okay, plan B then!" The girl still holding my hand quickly says as I feel her jerk me away before he can lay another hand on me- before any of them can. I can't tell if what I'm hearing is my heartbeat or the thumping of the bass, but panic makes it seem like that's the only sound to be heard in the club. I reel my head around to face forward, looking at the girl's back as she pulls me through the crowd, forcing me to weave and dodge. I can hear a commotion of the dudes following us, but it's getting further away. I want it to vanish entirely, so I willingly allow myself to be dragged through the crowd, and don't even really mind as she pulls me through the exit and out into the street. Anywhere is better than in there anyway.

We continue our escape, down the street, away from the busy strip and down a much quieter side road. If it were any other situation I'd consider this amount of fleeing excessive, but given the look of absolute murder I got for splashing a guy with some beer, I imagine they would put in the effort of pursuing us for quite a ways unless we lost them. We run and run until we start to reach a part of the city that's more shops and office buildings- places that are in service during the day, but at night are a literal ghost town.

It's at this point I realize how much my leg actually hurts. Now that we're in relative safety- the only two people fleeing down the sidewalk like we're being chased by a mad bull- I can pay attention to other things: like how my leg is absolutely throbbing. And how I _definitely_ left my cane back at the club.

"Fuck, _fuck, wait_! Stop, god, _please!_ " I beg her as I finally pull my hand away and limp to a crawl, then a complete halt. I lean against the wall of a building that lines the street and quickly sit myself down, not wanting to be on my feet another minute unless I want to start literally sobbing in front of a stranger.

"Shit, are you okay- are you hurt!?" She asks, spinning around and coming to join me at my side, hovering over me with an amount of concern that makes me feel bad. If only my friends back at the club had even a fraction of this amount of compassion.

"No- well... not exactly." I sigh as I reach down to rub my aching leg. I didn't bring pain meds to the club either- people tend to be of the opinion that you really shouldn't mix that stuff with alcohol, and I really wasn't exactly planning on taking a brisk midnight jog through the city either. "I screwed up my leg as a kid in an accident. Usually I'm fine, and I always keep my cane with me but... I left it back where I was sitting at the club."

"Oh, shit." The girl mutters as she looks the way we came apprehensively. She doesn't want to go back as much as I do, even if it were to get my cane. "I'm sorry, I didn't notice."

"It's fine, you couldn't have known- you kind of just swooped in at the last second, I rathered you pay attention to those scary guys rather than whether or not I had a cane." I assure her, twisting my leg this way and that and trying to put pressure on it, little by little. Even sitting down and pressing my foot against the ground causes me quite a bit of grief. "Thanks, by the way... for stepping in like that. You didn't really have to."

"I wouldn't say that- I see guys like that all the time, overwhelming poor girls like you in packs like they were- no offense."

"No, it's fine, none taken. I feel like a pretty 'poor girl' right about now, anyway." I chuckle. "My name's Teysa, by the way. Monique's a pretty name, but I feel it would be better if you actually knew my real name now that we're out of there."

"One of my old ex's was named Monique, it's all I had on the brain at the time." She laughs back, her lips drawn up in a smile that steals my breath for a second. "My name's Kaya. I don't think I've seen you around before- you new to the city?"

"I didn't used to be- I used to be from around here, but I moved away for college." I explain. "I'm visiting for the weekend and had my friends convinced me to go clubbing with them while I was still in town. At the very least, I can say with utmost certainty that I'm ready to go back to school and leave this place behind for a few more, good months. I miss being there more than I miss being here anyway- everyone I know here is a huge asshole, and I only realized that once I was out."

"Ouch, sorry to hear that one." Kaya mutters. "Sorry that your last night in town wound up like such a bummer."

"It's fine, I sort of expected it. Didn't quite expect you, though, you were the one pleasant surprise of the evening." I look up at her and give her a thankful grin. "This way I can go back to school not feeling like I totally hate this place and everybody here. At least, now I know there are actually still good people in this town."

I take a deep breath and begin to try and stand. As much as my body wants to, I don't think it would be all that wise to sit here and mope messaging my leg all night. With a gasp I stumble back, my leg outright refusing to support my weight without any sort of aid. I groan in frustration and pain as I slide back down the wall and back onto the cold, uncomfortable concrete.

"Shit!" I snap.

"Are you okay!?" Kaya asks.

"Yeah- well, actually no, scratch that, I'm not. My leg hurts like hell, it's no use trying to get up and walk on my own." I grunt as I look back in the direction of the club. A nervous flutter stirs in my chest as I consider going back, even if it is to collect my cane and maybe find my friends and demand they take me back home. "Looks like I'm going to need my cane after all, though it might be a little hard to get..."

"At this point I wouldn't be surprised if one of those bastards took it." Kaya brings up before looking in the opposite direction.

"Hmm... we're pretty close... we might be able to..."

"What?" I ask her. "Might be able to what?"

"Yeah, that just might work." Kaya nods to herself, coming to some sort of decision before looking back down at me and smiling. "I have an idea, and it involves not going back to that club and dodging those goons."

"Well, I'm all ears if that's the plan." I say as Kaya walks in front of me and crouches down almost completely to the ground. "Um..."

"Hop on my back, I don't mind." She encourages me. "I'll carry you until we get there."

"Get where?" I ask, narrowing my eyes but reaching out and resting my hands on her shoulders.

"It's a secret- but trust me, it's cool, I swear!" She insists. I've never been a very big fan of surprises- I like plans and schedules and everything being laid out. I hate the unexpected- loath the unknown. But, even so, when Kaya says 'it's a surprise' I can't help but trust her. My usual gut response to spontianuity is dead quiet and instead I hop on her back, looping my legs through her arms and wrapping my arms around her shoulders, and willingly allow her to slowly whisk me away down the deserted streets.

We talk until we reach our destination, the person that is Kaya slowly taking more and more of a physical shape in my mind. She's an art student, but is thinking of dropping out to go traveling. She likes old, classic stuff- buildings, clothes, literature, art, so long it has a good amount of years attached to it, Kaya eats it up and learns everything she can about it. She broke up with her last girlfriend a few months ago. She seems to only have had girlfriends. I don't find this fact at all off-putting in the slightest.

"Hey, we're here!" Kaya announces, walking up behind an old, brick building to an entrance definitely not meant for the general public to just walk through. I look around, feeling like we shouldn't actually be here at all. "You okay to stand for a second?"

I regard my leg, taking note that it doesn't hurt as much as before. I could probably stand to stand for a few seconds, just not walk around. I give her a slight nod in response as she gently sets me back down. With a groan I rise to my feet, resting my hand on her shoulder for leverage. I realize I could have just done that the whole way here, but I also really enjoyed riding on her back, the scent of whatever she put in her hair last wafting into my nose.

"Okay, where are we?" I ask her as she searches her pocket and pulls out an impressive ring of keys.

"Just one of the places I work at part time." She explains nonchalantly, finding the key to the back door and slipping it inside the keyhole with a satisfying clicking noise. "The old man who owns the place shouldn't mind, so long as we don't go throwing things around and breaking them."

"Things? Like what, where are you taking me?" I ask her with a smile.

"You'll see, you'll see." She chuckles, opening the door for me to walk through first- or rather limp. She's there beside me soon after, there to take my hand and lead me into what is almost pitch-black darkness.

"Yeah, actually I don't see- _anything_ , as a matter of fact." I tell her, raising my eyebrow jokingly even though I'm sure she can't see it.

"Not right now you don't." She says, and I can feel her straining to the side as she keeps a hold of my hand. "But I promise, you're going to love it. This is probably my favorite place in this whole city- definitely better than some old club."

With a few quick clicks, lights all around us overhead buzz to life, bathing where she's taken me in a soft, gold light. The place is fairly large, a few rooms worth of space tucked inside the old building, stairs and pathways looping around the floor, meant to guide people who came here during business hours. And, all around, set up along the walls and on tables and boxes, are all sorts of old antiques. Everything is either made from wood, carved in beautiful designs, or are plated with gold that reflects the overhead lights, making all sorts of little knick knacks and oddities in the shop sparkle like a mountain of treasure.

"Isn't it cool? It's like the place is just bursting with history, isn't it?" Kaya asks, her eyes sparkling with passion.

"Or junk." I snort, though I can't help but share her sentiment. A lot of the pieces in here look rather old, for as well kept as they are. Old, wooden clocks all tick away the minutes, and old paintings hung on the walls are like windows to another point in time. I just want to tease Kaya.

"Come on, don't be like that! Here, let me show you- I'd give you the grand tour, but we _are_ kind of trespassing." Kaya shrugs as she leads me through the gallery of antiques. "The guy who owns this place finds all this old stuff wasting away in storage bins and at auctions, and he spruces them up like new and gives them new life! Look at all this stuff, nothing so beautiful, hand-crafted and rich in history deserves to waste away. I've wanted to do the same thing for years- find old things people have forgotten or let fall into disrepair and breath new life into them. There's something beautiful about giving these old trinkets and treasures a second chance."

"I-if you say so..." is all I can really say, unable to tear my eyes away to look at all the old stuff Kaya has so much praise for from the woman herself. She looks especially breathtaking when she's passionate- out-shining every last speck of gold detailing on everything on display. She could probably make the stars look lackluster right about now.

"Here we go- not a lot of people come in looking for these. They aren't exactly prescribed by a doctor or anything, but they should do- and they look really kickass, if I do say so myself." Kaya says as she leads me to one edge of the room, where there are a few bins full of different, ornately decorated canes. "They'll be enough to last you the evening, right?"

"I just need one that fits, and I should be fine." I tell her as I go about searching through the collection. Some of them are too small for me, like they were made for children, and some are much too large, or have handles that are a little too decorative. It takes me quite a while before I start finding canes that are the right size for my height, but Kaya doesn't seem to mind at all. She simply gazes at me, seeming like she's on the edge of her seat over what I plan on picking out.

I eventually come across one that's suitable, the rod itself painted a deep, deep black and the handle looking like a griffon or some sort of similar mythical beast. It honestly looks like one of those canes that have blades hidden in them, and I jokingly hold it aloft and try to do just that, like I'm unsheathing a sword.

The handle actually twists free, and I hear the surprising scrape of metal. _Apparently it doesn't just_ look _like what I think it does..._

"Ooh, one with a blade hidden inside- very nice, love the choice. Definitely will come in handy if we run into any more assholes tonight." Kaya laughs as I quickly thrust the handle back against the rod. I want to put it back and look for another option, but we've already been here long enough and, well... what can I say, I'm a sucker for aesthetics. What I'm not very keen on, however, is the price tag hanging off the handle, and the number of zeros on it.

"Holy _shit_ , that's way too much money!" I gasp. "How am I going to pay for this? Don't you have anything simple in here!?"

"It's fine, it's fine, you can just take it. Like I said, these aren't exactly our most popular items- they mostly just sit around, look pretty and gather dust. You'll be doing us more of a favor than anything by taking it off our hands." Kaya smiles, pressing my hands back towards myself as I try to put the cane back where I found it. "It will serve you a lot better than it has us, trust me."

"I... I..." I stammer as I rest the butt of the came against the ground and lean against it. If I was planning on protesting such an extravagant gift, I really shouldn't have taken it out for a spin. My aching leg appreciates the support, and I lose every ounce of motivation I had, ready to insist we just find something else.

"Look at that, it even suits you. You look almost regal holding onto that." Kaya compliments me. "Now there's no way I'm taking it back, it looks like it was made for you."

"Thank you..." I say with a shy nod. "I really appreciate it."

The two of us stand in silence for a moment while I get used to the feeling of standing in relative comfort again. We've escaped the goons back at the club, I've solved my cane problem... we slowly start to realize there's no real reason for us to continue on any more. I could easily take a cab back home at this point and be done with it. There's nothing else left that's keeping us attached at the hip tonight. And yet, and I can tell by the look on her eyes that the feeling is mutual, neither of us feel like the night should end yet.

"Hey, if you don't mind... would you like to go somewhere with me really quick?" Kaya finally speaks up. "Since it's your last night in town and all... I feel like maybe it will give you a better appreciation of this place- this city you hate so much."

"What? Another antique shop?" I ask her with a smirk.

"No, it's something else- but god, do I wish I found another shop as good as this one in this town." Kaya sighs dreamily before snapping herself out of it. "I just want to take you somewhere where you can look at this place with a different perspective. After this place, it's probably my favorite place to sneak off to at night."

* * *

 

Kaya could have been talking about a lot of things, but it turns out she was talking about one of the taller buildings in the city- a government building mostly full of offices. A government building we have no business being in whatsoever this time of night. I have several questions, and most of them are different versions of why in the hell she dragged me here in the first place. What makes this place so special?

"Um, care to elaborate a little here?" I ask her as we walk toward the doors. There's really nobody in the lobby outside of a janitor minding his own business, but once we arrive at the doors it seems the place isn't closed- the glass door easily swinging open as Kaya pushes it.

"No time- just act like you belong here and nobody will question a thing." Kaya whispers, straightening up and walking with a level of authority that seems almost comical. I've never been the best actor, and there's no denying that we don't actually have any business being here. My cane clacks against the marble floor a little to loud for comfort, and I keep my eyes fixed on the back of Kaya's neck. As much as I want to look around nervously and gawk at everything in the lobby, I know I shouldn't. I don't want to come off like some confused tourist walking into an empty office building.

I'm convinced we make it to the elevators by some sort of divine miracle, but by whatever means we somehow made it without being stopped. With a sly look as our elevator arrives, Kaya goes back to searching through her pockets and pulls out her wallet. My question of why she's doing so is replaced by why in the world she has what she even has as we walk in and I immediately notice anything above the second floor requires a key card.

"Why do you have that?" I ask as she prodices one such card and slips it into the designated slot with reletive ease before pulling it right back out. All of our options light up before us, and she quickly picks out the top floor- all before answering my question.

"Ah, don't worry so much. I've had this thing for months- whoever it used to belong to probably just figured they dropped it and had it replaced- nobody's looking for it." She explains, tucking the thing back into her wallet. "And it's not like I ever do things in here that would make them think someone was sneaking in. I just come here to look."

"Look at _what_?" I ask before she turns to me, a grin of excitement on her face. I know what she's going to say before she even says it: it's a surprise. And, once again, I'm left with only anticipation. Maybe I'm starting to like surprises- or, at least, the one's that Kaya provides. I still don't think 'surprise trip to the club where we'll desert you and leave you to get heckled by a bunch of predatory men' sounds all that great. My friends just being insensitive dickwads sounds a lot more believable than me suddenly becoming more of a spontaneous, adventurous risk-taker.

Once we arrive at our floor, Kaya holds me back and looks down the hall in either direction, and I'm faced with the fact we're not actually supposed to be here again. The chance we could get caught gets me close to panicking, but the second I'm about to begin the process, starting with some heavy breathing I'm sure will evolve into hyperventilating after a few, good minutes, Kaya grips my shoulder and gins back at me, motioning outside the elevator with a nod of her head.

"Cost's clear- you alright?" She asks. Her grip on me now is just like it was back at the club, back when she rescued me. It's a reassuring touch, and it somehow dissolves all of my worries. Once again, the only thing that exists is this beautiful, strange girl I hardly know, the confident gleam in her eyes and the smile on her lips. Just like back at the club, I feel safe.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I nod, feeling a bit odd after having gone from being panicked to being completely fine in two seconds flat. I feel like I'm floating, honestly, as I follow her out of the elevator and down the dark hallway. I reach out and take her hand with my free hand, and instead of reacting in surprise, she simply curls her fingers around mine. I find myself not wanting her to ever let go.

"Okay, it's just around here." Kaya whispers as we round the corner. The darkness that filled the hallway at out back is suddenly lit my a dim glow, making it just barely possibly to see shapes and silhouettes and where exactly we're going without having to feel along the walls. Light from below leaks in through the one, large window at the end of the short hallway, and at the very least from here I can see the very tops of buildings and the blackness of the sky, peppered with stars.

I wander away from Kaya's side, my hand thoughtlessly slipping from hers as I approach, more and more of the view that stretches out below us becoming visible the closer I get. I can't hear the noise from the city below us- it's like I'm looking down at it from space, where I can hardly hear my own breathing. And, as I finally get close enough to where I can touch the glass, I feel like I can't even breath- the view from up above knocking the wind right out of me.

The city that I loath- the city that I left behind because it meant nothing to me, looks like a bunch of scattered gems and flecks of gold glittering below us. It stretches out for miles, twinkling lights becoming fewer and fewer until they fade into blackness near the horizon. It's a plain city down below- noting that sets it apart from anywhere else I've visited... but up here, it's beautiful.

"Nice view, isn't it?" I hear Kaya suddenly say, interrupting my quiet reverie as she joins me at the window and taking my hand again. I'm getting used to the feeling of that hand more and more, to the point where I don't even notice it's there at first, fingers laced tenderly between mine. I turn to her, her strong, beautiful features lit by the glow of the city below. In that moment, she is everything amazing and beautiful about this place. She is what makes all those lights below us shine.

"Yeah..." I mumble, catching her attention as she, too, looks my way. "It is... really beautiful."

She reaches up and brushes hair out of the way of my face, and I don't flinch away. Her hand rests on my cheek, and I nuzzle against it without much thought. I know it's just been a night- a simple couple of hours running across town, away from rude assholes only looking to score, trespassing in places we had no reason to be in this time of night- but everything in my brain echoes back that this is right. That and I've hooked up with people in less time for dumber reasons. This isn't a dumb hookup, however. This is something more, something amazing- this is Kaya's soft lips that I've stared at all night, leaning in close.

This is a kiss I'll remember for months- until I come running back to this city that I hate.


End file.
